What do vacuuming, ASMR fights, and the old days of rap have in common? They're all part of the hilarious and thought-provoking rabbit hole we go down in this week's episode. Join us as we discuss the strangest things, explore the little decisions that lead to an outcome in life, and share some personal stories and experiences.
We also dive into controversial topics like the power of false idols and the double standards that exist when it comes to the media's portrayal of women. Hear about our encounters with famous figures like Salman Rushdie and the lessons we learned in high school. Plus, we'll compare hand sizes and discover the potential advantages of finger webbing when it comes to swimming.
Finally, we wrap up this episode with a discussion on gifts, relationships, and comedy. We debate the moral implications of having multiple wives and open relationships, and wonder whether it's considered a psychological disorder. As we talk about the best TV shows of all time, we also let you in on a top-secret project that may revolutionize the podcast and potentially change lives. Don't miss this wildly entertaining and thought-provoking episode!
What do vacuuming, ASMR fights, and the old days of rap have in common? They're all part of the hilarious and thought-provoking rabbit hole we go down in this week's episode. Join us as we discuss the strangest things, explore the little decisions that lead to an outcome in life, and share some personal stories and experiences.
We also dive into controversial topics like the power of false idols and the double standards that exist when it comes to the media's portrayal of women. Hear about our encounters with famous figures like Salman Rushdie and the lessons we learned in high school. Plus, we'll compare hand sizes and discover the potential advantages of finger webbing when it comes to swimming.
Finally, we wrap up this episode with a discussion on gifts, relationships, and comedy. We debate the moral implications of having multiple wives and open relationships, and wonder whether it's considered a psychological disorder. As we talk about the best TV shows of all time, we also let you in on a top-secret project that may revolutionize the podcast and potentially change lives. Don't miss this wildly entertaining and thought-provoking episode!
Speaker 1: til posting. Yeah, yeah, that's, that's Dan Sweeney. Hello, and I'm Josh Bates. Yep, here you are, you're here. Yeah, you did it, you're back. Why? Why? Thanks. Yeah, there are people that listen to every episode and we thank you and I'm. They're all in Romania, all in Romania. I'm very curious to why they just keep listening, and I appreciate it. You know, it's in a world where we want to connect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, i've sometimes watched things like I watch random videos, yeah, and I go. Why am I watching this? Oh, yeah, it was interesting. I one time I was vacuuming up sawdust in a hard days work in the shop with my tough hands, my tough hands, my tough leathery hands, and I was just, you know, and it's kind of like one. It's like those like. it's like the videos of things being crushed, or I got the most amount of DMs and likes from that, from just vacuuming, because people were like I need more of this, i need more of this in my life. Dan, you're missing your, i think. Are you missing your mark right now? Like this is the big time? Yeah, i failed at everything, but maybe that's what you need to be doing. Maybe you need to do more of those videos, maybe I do it and I do it a bunch Every time I'm vacuuming. I'm like, remember that day where I felt like I was enough, yeah, when I put this out to the world and the world said thank you, i'll, i'll watch more of this. You should do an ASMR fight. fight, yeah, like you and Katie getting a real fight, but it's an ASMR voices, so you know you have to talk like this. Your penis is pathetic and I hate you. Well, i'm sorry, that's what I was born with, katie. Yeah, well, god cursed you. We don't have we don't all have huge Hawks like George Bates. Yeah, we can't all be the college of Charleston basketball team, katie. Yeah, cause if you add all of those together, that's what I need. You're Polish, wouldn't that be cool, though? I think a ASMR fight would be fun. People would listen to it. If it was on YouTube, you would get thousands of listens or watches as you.
Speaker 1: Will You ever gotten stuck? I feel like it'd be like in those feelings where you're stuck, but you're like I should be able to get out of this. But you were saying, you were saying that you were. You went down a rabbit hole. Oh, of videos, yeah, but it's just like things getting crushed or how this is made.
Speaker 1: Or I get stuck a lot on Wikipedia, like I'll look at a Kennedy assassination and one of the guys in the report And then I'll click on him and then he was famous for you know Watergate. And then I'll read about Watergate and then somehow after three and a half hours albeit like the Crestaceous period of your dinosaurs Yeah, like how big was this Stegosaurus is dick, yeah. Then there used to be like a drinking game or something or some sort of game where you'd click on things on Wikipedia. You'd start at one point and then you just kind of get to the yeah, you'd see how you ended, or that's fun, that sounds cool. I didn't have anyone cool in my life. It's funny. It's like the microcosm of life where it's like all the little decisions you make can lead to an outcome that you can desire. Yeah, dude, it's like six degrees of separation. You remember that guy who started off in eBay with like a pencil and he like traded or yeah, and he got a car, yeah, and then he got his way up to like a car. Yeah, it's like that. That's life.
Speaker 1: I watch this. I'll sit there and watch this dumb guy go. He's at a pawn shop and he's like Hey, i got a toaster. You give me that, uh, that toaster oven. No, no, he's like, will you? And they're like yeah, i guess I love a good story like that. Yeah, i love that. It's pretty dope.
Speaker 1: Pawn Stars, i was a huge fan of you, know I was. But then it got really dumb because people would walk in and they're like um, i have the knife of Hitler, yeah, and you're like what? Yeah? And they're like well, i need, uh, i need to bring my buddy in. I need to bring my buddy in. And then his buddy comes and he's like oh, yes, but the best part was the old man. Oh, yeah, the guy was just like. He's like what you need to do?
Speaker 1: a silver boy? Yeah, did you ever see the one where he's hoarding? He's just hoarding, hoarding pennies. Yeah, oh, he has like huge back. You ain't gonna find all my pennies. Leave my pennies alone, rick. I got them all dug into my backyard. You won't be able to find them. Bunch of oil drums out in Santa clementa full of pennies. Yeah, they can go. Find them pennies, because he wants to like melt down the pennies and then use. He's like the metals were more of the pennies than the pennies are worth? Yeah, but that's illegal. You can't destroy and destroy it. So which I've destroyed a lot? Yeah, i used to do a magic trick with a dollar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'd have to rip one of the dollars. Ah, there's a decoy dollar, decoy dollar, the decoy. So every time you did this trick you were out at dollar. Yeah, but it was worth the dollar because it would blow people's minds. I would basically no, no, no, listen, i would rip a dollar in half, burn half of it, light it on fire. It goes away. I say, hey, cut this lemon open. And you open this lemon, the fucking dollars in there, and it matches perfectly with the dollar. Wow, yeah, dude, that's a dope magic trick. Bring that back.
Speaker 1: Oh, i have brought it to many of places and people are like what are you? they're like what this is. Do you have a lemon? Anyone have a lemon. Or if you see me with the lemon prepping it, you're like what's the? what's that lemon over there? Lemon in a corkscrew? Why is he standing in that alleyway looking around suspiciously? Oh, look at me. Yeah, i can't wait till they see this trick. I'm about to make everybody's night. Yeah, it only cost me a dollar.
Speaker 1: You can't put a price on joy people. You can't. You can't try it. I've tried once. I thought it was worth seven, 82.
Speaker 1: I was wrong. Prostitutes in Vegas have what. Put a price on joy, yeah, i mean, is it sex? Sure, but I mean I don't know if I went to, like the bunny range, not unhappy when I'm having it. It sounds very expensive, it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, i mean you get to a certain point where you're like to me, this is the start is like okay, i'm in the room, i just paid for it. Hey, go ahead and lay down right there. Okay, i'll lay down, yeah, and then we just start. Or do we like yeah, do we talk? like Hey, what's your favorite TV show? Transactional, do you want to talk about that? What do you want to do? I want to talk What's your favorite show? Yeah, cause I need to know that before you suck my balls. That's important to me. I want to know, yeah, like, if it's two and a half men, i don't want you near my balls. Men, men, men, i don't get away. Stop it. I need a new girl. Yeah, you don't floss, and I throw my money at her and I go go find someone. I got money to waste.
Speaker 1: Hey, you want to see a magic trick? real. First, you got a lemon. You can't a dollar. I need two dollars for the trick, though I'd be endearing if you were the John who just, you know, like those police sting videos where it's like a guy coming in and it's some female cop I just came to. If you were an old man, just came in and you were like, you got a lemon. I want to show you, just want to show my magic. I show all the girls, and they're all around me and they're bikinis. Don't you want to bang me? No, no, i just. I just my wife's dead. I'm lonely, i just yeah, i thought I'd blow your mind. Yeah, Instead of you blowing me, take the night off. Huh, Yeah, you want to get out of here? Get a cheeseburger. I'll show you some magic, some close up. I made cheeseburgers tonight. I watched a video. Back to videos.
Speaker 1: How does he do? I watched a Gordon Ramsay thing. He's like let me show you how to make the best burger. The guy's kind of a dick. I like him, though, but anyway, what do you like about him? He, he knows what he's doing, okay, uh, and I watched master chef junior with my daughter. She loves it and he's very adorable on that show. He's nice, he is, but he's actually he's a little mean to them, cause he's like, hey, kids need to have that in their lives. Yeah, but he's not like you, son of a bitch. Yeah, you stupid cunt. Yeah, he doesn't do that, at least until the finale. Then he the cunt word is back. He just lembasts, yeah, some young child. Yeah, makes them cry. He makes the mom come out and call the kid a cunt, yeah, and then he's like I'm a fuck you mom in front of you. Yeah, but anyway, these burgers Delicious, i can't.
Speaker 1: Now we talk of beef Uh, yeah, it was brisket. And uh, prime prime rib, oh, so you may, you blended the burger yourself. No, i didn't blend it myself. I've never been one to do that. I'm not a meat blender. Yeah, i don't like doing that. No, i let the experts blend my meat. Yeah, the people who work at a wage you would scoff at. Yeah, blender me If you don't make $16 an hour. Yeah, blending my meat, not a dollar more. Yeah, 16 bucks, that's who I want.
Speaker 1: I want the guy who really can't wait to get off of his shift. Yeah, he's like, oh, yeah, and he's already. He's started. He popped a Molly at his lunch break. He's rolling a little bit. He's rolling a little bit Cause he's just trying to get through Thursday.
Speaker 1: Not a big hand washer, but that doesn't matter. You're cooking the meat. Cooking the meat. You're cooking the meat. It tastes fine. providing组 extension. Well, that's definitely how I prefer eating meat. I get to eat meat at the time of eating While I'm walking around between the bars back in Australia.
Speaker 1: You know, like We're now in, that we actually this is it. We haven't told anyone this. We're part of the problem, but we are actually. We began an investigation And we are getting to get the voting machines, yeah, and Find out why we won. There's a bird or a bat in here. It's a bird right outside, right outside. Okay, let's make it. Love, bird, love. He's loving it, but anyway. So if you hear a bird, hey, oh, you definitely hear that bird, you got, hey, whatever. So, anyway, when you do it in a garage, we stole voting with, we stole the voting machines in nature and we're gonna open them up And we're gonna figure out why we won, because we shouldn't have no, no, we shouldn't have no, but thank you, it's a scandal that worked in our favor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do appreciate you. Whoever brought in dead people and was like, hey, yeah, we're using their name to vote. Whoever met somebody in a parking garage in Chicago With a big brown bag full of money, thank you. Thank you because, man, let me tell you, ever since we won this award, man, how things have not changed at all. I don't even think we got like an extra five likes on Instagram, got nothing, no one cared. No, and That's fine.
Speaker 1: And we, our motivation, it's always waxed and waned Existentially to our motivation and our effort. Yes, Yeah, the effort is, i think, as minimal as it usually is. Yeah, i think in the beginning there was more. I think in the beginning of anything, maybe. Yeah, i mean, i had a lot of effort. Yeah, you drove, though That's a long drive. It was an hour. That's a long drive there, not in total. Yeah, summerville. Yeah, just for me to go, go, turn it on. Yeah, it was a lot, that's a lot, especially when I wouldn't burn the episode. Yeah, you know, and I'd be like I wasn't a good. That's not. Do this, i pick great. Yeah, oh, no, that's fine, it's awesome. Cool, i'll just go home. Yeah, yeah, i thought that one sucked too, yeah, in the back of my truck bed. Yep, i'll go, not have a home now, thank you, thank you Means a lot, yeah, so we're looking into that. We're going to let you guys know the results when we find them.
Speaker 1: We hired actually I mean, while I'm talking about we hired a CIA operative Yeah, he just retired and we were like, hey, we need you to do us a square, we need you to look into this. Kenneth Goulet, yeah, yeah. Kenny G Yeah, kenny G Yeah, that's what he goes by. Kenny G, that was the name. And the CIA Yeah, like it. The training academy At least that's what he said. Agent G Yeah, yeah, he's a good guy.
Speaker 1: G-man, shifty man, sketchy background, yeah, weird face. Some sort of oil burn, some sort of burn happen? Yeah, like a chemical burn, yeah, some sort of bad burn. If you don't look at it, though, like no, you don't look at his eyes, you look off at something just off in his corner, something like that, like cause. Then he says those weird riddles Like Kenny, kenny don't like. When he speaks in the third person, yes, kenny don't like that. Yeah, and it becomes like a Bill Cosby cartoon. Yeah, kenny, don't like that. Kenny don't like that. Yeah, we're like all right, kenny, i got the pudding and the pop. You see, that was horrible. Yeah, who's all right? It was really bad.
Speaker 1: You can't watch the Cosby show anymore, i don't, can you? I used to watch it all the time growing up, on Nick at night, yeah, and now I can't. I think there were episodes where, like the little girl that came on like towards the very end of that show, she would come on and just roll her eyes and then Bill Cosby would stand next to her and then like, roll his eyes and that was 30. They would stretch that for 30 minutes. Yeah, i was. I liked it as a kid. I was like this is fine TV right here. It was all.
Speaker 1: It all took place in just the living room. Yeah, it did. Did they ever go to the kitchen? No, they go in the kitchen. Was there a kid to go to Theo's room and stuff like that? There was Theo's room and I don't know if I ever remember episodes of because he was a doctor, he's doctor Huckstable. I don't remember if she was a lawyer. She was a lawyer. Yeah, yeah, and Chicago, right, philadelphia, i think. So it's a Philly guy. Yeah, it's a Philly guy? Yeah, he's big in a temple university. See, well, he was, he was. Well, he still is. Not.
Speaker 1: The honorary doctorates They got rid of them, but they're not giving the money back. That's insane, yeah, but did they? maybe they gave the money back? They didn't give the money back, dude, that's like they're like we took his awards away. What about the millions? What about the rape money? Well, why would they get rid? He didn't get paid to rape. That's the thing. Oh, okay, i mean, if depends on what conspiracy theory you subscribe to. No connection, epstein, that Cosby was doing anything. Cosby was a solo guy. Cosby was his own man. He didn't have a boss. But where was he getting all the Kway Ludes? Yeah, the Ludes. And the real Dr Huxville We base that character off.
Speaker 1: You see, i mean, i can't do it. I'm not good at it. No, that's all right. I'm going to see where the Cosby show took place Philadelphia. The $50 that I paid you? No, no, no, i'm not. Let's re-bet that. No, no, i'm not that confident. All right, well, come on, dude, I wasn't that confident as well. I just wanted to take the bet just to have something fun to live for. What was the bet? I forget, but I lost it. You hear that frog. This is like a nature show. Yeah, we're out in his backyard right now, brooklyn Heights, new York. Motherfucker, damn, i should have took that fish. You should have took it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Huxville family, brooklyn Heights, new York. The address was actually 10 Stigwood Avenue, stigwood. Yeah, he was an obstetrician. Remember the Stig from Top Gear? Yeah, i didn't, really wasn't a Top Gear guy. Yeah, you don't like the British, i get it, you're a real American. The father is Cliff Huxville. He was an obstetrician and the son of a jazz trombonist. He was an OBGYN. Yeah, yeah, he delivered babies.
Speaker 1: In the show He stared at cooters, dude. And the mother is, yeah, claire Huxville. She was a lawyer. Yeah, in Brooklyn. What kind of lawyer, though? I don't know. It just says lawyer. Hmm, i think she was a criminal lawyer. Yeah, i know. Yeah, and TV shows everyone's a criminal lawyer. Get Claire to defend me. They're like Mr Cosby. Claire was a fictional character. I need her. Who? my defense? What accent is that? This is a Yugoslavic, but I need her. Yeah, just some chimney sweep. But I need her, but I need her. You guys hear the frog.
Speaker 1: This is like Planet Earth, that documentary. It is what we're on. Do you watch that show? Do you ever watch that Planet Worth? Planet Worth With the lifestyles of the rich and famous, lifestyles of the rich and the famous. But I don't know, boy, no. Planet Earth, yeah, with David Attenborough. Yeah, you see, the penguin from the Antarctic.
Speaker 1: Back in the day, when I was in my early 20s, we used to get stoned and put on Dr Dre 2001 and then played over and we called it Little Big Planet And we watched, yeah, and we'd watch it. So you turn it down and listen to the music and it'd be like a polar bear leg, all right, and all of a sudden it's like all these bitches and all these hoes, someone here gonna fuck, yeah, yeah, i don't know if that's the front of that album. Yeah, it was. Yeah, you want to best fix it. You know what I'm saying? Ain't no telling what the side effects will be. All they find to be two bitches, equal sex to me, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I like the days away to a place no one has known. In a state of mind I could call mine. The only I could own You were Goomba. Now I could call my dude and he'd tell my juice. There's no such thing as time where I could feel no pain, just common, saying what a place we want to find You like that. Yeah, you're quiet. Yeah, oh, i just had to revel in the great and master.
Speaker 1: Bates is the name, or whatever you want to call it. Wait, is this your? I used to be a motherfucking alcoholic, just like the scots, or drink without the rocks, i don't know. I can't think of anything. I was just trying to freestyle. That was you freestyle. Yeah, we're not freestyling something I did way back in the day. You used to freestyle tried poorly.
Speaker 1: I had a math teacher in high school back in Miami in the 80s. He was known as the rooster and he used to rap Wow, yeah, play kickball with your head, make a pack of chicklets with your teeth, you know. So you say I'm a dog, god damn. And then he was like let me show you about this. Pull out, pull out Ethereum, pull out the Ethereum, ethereum. Yeah, let me tell you about triangles and hexagons. Yeah, actually, geometry is coming into play.
Speaker 1: Very helpful as a woodworker with the carpentry. Yeah, yeah, cause you're like man, angles would be nice to know right now. But then you just get a protractor right Or like a right angle measuring thing, the bevel gauge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little square. You know what a plumb bob is? Yeah, a lot of people don't determines what. Have something level? That's it A level, yeah, line, vertical line Yeah, it's just a cool name. A sex act. A plumb bob? Yeah, it took her all day. I got a plumb bob from. Yeah, i thought it was plumb bob. No, it's plumb bob. Yeah, it's not. P O L O O M.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about Ace hardware? Not a fan. I went to this Ace cause I had to get some wood. It's like four, there's like four aisles, Dude. Well, it's insane, cause I got a two by four and I went up and the guys like that's a real nice two by four, real nice two by four. And I was like it's a two by four, i guess it's nice. And he's like no, this is a real nice, real straight, and everything like that. I was like all right, yeah, okay, he wasn't even like. He's just some guy who worked there, just like pushing a broom and just like, oh, he's like stop by. He's like God, that's a nice two by four, damn, look at that wood. That's why he works there. He goes in the back and smells him. He sands him down with like a little great Yeah, puts it on his nipples. Oh God, this is some nice wood. This is a nice wood. Oh man, it's a nice pine, is that pine? Oh, i love young pine, love a young sapling of pine.
Speaker 1: And then I went up to the cashier and he's ringing me up and he's like that two by four is eight, 99. And I said eight, 99 for a two by four. And he said yeah, and I said that's a lot for a two by four. And he goes do you not want it? And I go no, i'm going to get it, but that's a lot, i need it. And he goes well, that's how much our two by four is cost. I'm like I'm aware, but it's just a lot, like a kind of sticking, weird. It's like that's a lot for a two by four, though He's like well, sir, I can, you don't need to buy it. He's like you can go. So I'm aware, it's just expensive, but this is robbery. I'm going to pay it, but I'm not happy about how much you're charging me for it.
Speaker 1: I don't like when cashiers comment on how much, like when I bought like these in, or when I bought cigarettes, or like $9 a pack. That's pretty expensive. You're like, yeah, i know, i know you fucking asshole, yeah, i don't. I don't like when they tell me, oh, is it? No, they go. Sir, you saved $6.51 today. I'm like, no, i didn't, i just spent $215. Yeah, i didn't save. Oh, but it used to be, but it's not. But it's not. You mean the numbers you came up with? Oh, that they magically change. You know what? When I worked at a grocery store, we'd go around and like for every 10 things that we would put on sale, we raise the price mark that one up on everything. Yeah, all the dude. So many markups everywhere. Yeah, no, it's just on a weekly basis, which was weird for groceries. Are you looking forward to when there's no cashiers? Because you do the art of the cashier gone, it's dead, it's not there anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't like them also commenting on what I'm having for dinner. Oh, that'll be good. Oh, you're making burgers tonight. Imagine what I'm doing when I'm eating with my family. You freak. Yeah, oh, you know what she said today when I went to public. She was like that's really good green leaf lettuce. And I was like, okay, yeah, okay, yeah. And then just let no, i went with it. I said, oh, yeah, no, it looks really good. She goes, yeah, yeah, it looks real good. And she goes having burgers tonight. Yeah, she's scanning the burgers.
Speaker 1: No, you know what That we're becoming? this is. This is what technology wants from us. You see what's happening right now? Yeah, we're becoming a verse to the connection. Yeah, well, you know what We don't like conversation. I don't want to talk to you. Yeah, you work for me at this grocery store Every time, man, every time. Yeah, dan's hearing the water come down through the pipes. You know that when that happens, who reminds me of Dick Trickle? Oh, the NASCAR. Yeah, yeah, rip.
Speaker 1: Speaking of killing, i'm going to bring it all back Suicide and Wikipedia I was looking up in, and Nicole Smith. Both are on the rise. Yeah, i wanted to see if she ever got the money from that billionaire. Yeah, did she? No, well, she did, and then they took the money back. They took it back, so she got the money in one of the court cases. Yeah, and then it got appealed three times. In the third time, they took all the money. Wow, ended up with like 15 million. But then, when she died, in her will, she had her house.
Speaker 1: What was less, is like 1.1 million, yeah, and I had like 60,000 in the bank. That was it Damn Not bad. I mean, how old was she? She was young. I mean not young, she's probably 30s, 30s. Yeah, i'm in my 30s right now. She looked like a hot mess. I don't have a house that's worth 1.1 million And I don't have 60 G's in the bank.
Speaker 1: You know, i didn't know the son. He was on the show, on the E show. Yeah, he died. He killed himself. Well, he was an accidental overdose. He was stealing her pills and then died. I just want to see how old she was. Yeah, no, please do. This is why we need a person sitting here.
Speaker 1: 39, 39 in Hollywood, florida. There you go. Yeah, yeah, rip. She's great. She's one of the first ones.
Speaker 1: I looked up Google images. There was a time where my middle school yeah, there was. No, they had computers but there was no filtering dude. Yeah, and computer class is Carmen Electra, pamela Anderson, anna Nicole Smith, jenny McCarthy, wasn't she? I don't know, i don't know if she had topless pics, but I knew Pam Anderson did, like her on the beach with a little sand on there, yeah, and you know what? The thing that I, these social. These kids these days have, right, these social. I would have loved access.
Speaker 1: It was hard to find a black queen in there because it was all white women. You know little diversity. Nowadays you get any anything you want. Yeah, have you ever seen like the Muslim porn? They're all like, oh, completely. Yeah, i've seen Mia Khalifa, hey, now, hey, if Mia, if you're listening to the podcast, the great, we'll have you on here. Great sports journalist Yeah, she's a journalist.
Speaker 1: She is Barst Barstle, right, she Barstle? Yeah, good for her. Making money? Yeah, i think she's probably. Yeah, she's doing what she wants and that's good. Good for her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, there's like, uh, they're in full Muslim garb, like they have the, yeah, the job, the job on, but they don't have the burqa. They have them as their face, they have the burqa on, then they take the burqa. Are you talking about where there's like the call to prayer playing in the background and Jesus, the war did something to you, my friends? No, i don't, i'm actually, i bypass them. I'm not into that. Okay, human human trafficking?
Speaker 1: Well, i remember in this interview it's so funny how your brain would recall things. I remember in an interview, mia Khalifa talking about cause she did that, where it was like Muslim stepmom or something like that, and it's like her and this chick and they're in the traditional garb and then obviously they, they suck and fuck some dude. Sure, and I remember her, she was talking about how much hate she got from the Muslim community. Sure, she was like they were almost going to put like a fat, while on her I think there might have been, you know, almost like that artist, um, salman Rushdie. Yeah, whatever happened to him, dude, i don't know. I ever tell you that he came to my college. No, and he was. He like, he came to my creative writing class and he's talking to the class. They're like security there. No, he just showed it was upstate New York or whatever.
Speaker 1: I remember raising my hand and think I had this brilliant question. I was stoned and I was like Mr Rushdie, it is an honor. I was just like I kind of paused cause, like what am I going to ask? And I was like, were you afraid of death? And he was like, yeah, like he was like a friend. He was like, yeah, dude, i was a, i was afraid of death. Yeah, you know, you was short of saying what kind of fucking idiot are you? What college is this? That's what he was thinking. Who the fuck? Who's this Sweeney? fuck, god damn. Idiot and sweatpants. Yeah, says fucking swim team on his shirt, with green chlorinated hair So shrewd up on it. His eyes are redder than his pubes. I know he's got red pews.
Speaker 1: And speaking of you know characters, the Dalai Lama he's in a bit of hot water. Yeah, the old tons of tongue sucker himself. So what's the story? I missed this complete. What's the story?
Speaker 1: He asked some young fella to suck his tongue and it got caught on camera. What was he? just? It was a random guy who's like hey, suck on my tongue, or what I mean, i don't know. It was a random guy in his eyes. It was he going to suck on a tongue or was he wanted the boy? He wanted the boy to kiss him. I think the boy gave him a kiss.
Speaker 1: You know as he do when you're running the Dalai Lama and your young boy, you go okay, and then he's like suck my tongue. And then he's like do you think it was a translation thing? No, he said it in English. Yeah, yeah, i think he's just come on, dude. He's probably like meditated. I was like hey, it doesn't work. You know it works. A boy's tongue in my mouth, yeah, dude, that's when you know there might not be a God, when he's like I wasn't surprised, no, it's just, you can't have these false idols. Yeah, these tongue suckers, yeah, look, they're human beings, man. They get corrupted by power. Absolute power corrupts Absolutely. And yeah, maybe you know he's got to think.
Speaker 1: You know Mahatma Gandhi, he liked the, he liked the young ladies, the Catholic priests. You know they've, they had, they had some issues. You know, yeah, was that a whole thing about hot teachers? They have a thing Poor hot teachers. God damn dude. Yeah, i was showing one to Katie. I was like check out this chick. Yeah, katie's like that's so messed up. And I was like, wouldn't it be gross? Like here, like a guy rapes a girl, terrible, terrible. And then all of a sudden, the news channel shows pictures of him, like in his boxers, yeah, and he's like shredded. Yeah, they don't do that, no, but with women they're like, yeah, you know, 10th grade Spanish teacher fucking blah, blah, blah. And then the show in her bikini.
Speaker 1: She started off by sending snapchats to the young boy and then would pick him up from his parents house. And then the guy. Girl stuff is never. The description isn't really there. It happened, the assault happened. Yeah, the girl stuff, and it's like she sucked his dick under the bleachers after a dance and five of his friends would watch and film it and then put it on live league. Here's a picture of her butthole Yeah, and you're like, yeah, yeah, and it just shows everything. And they're all Hot, smoking hot, very hot, what So? what do you think it is? One I saw recently was some chicken Florida. I saw the same. That's why it was. I thought about it And her husband was a fireman. Yeah, you can't do that. It was like a.
Speaker 1: Was he ninth eighth grade? ninth grade, eighth grade, yeah, he's like a middle schooler, dude, no teacher was sucking my dick in middle school. No, and if you know what, if one was sucking my dick, i kept my mouth shut. Yeah, i would have been like Yeah, now you wouldn't have kept your mouth shut. No, i would have told everybody Boys would have been like what's up, josh, be like what's up, i'm not my dick. And Miss McGillicuddy, that's what's up. Yeah, dude, you're going to brag. He was sending She was sending nudes to the kid.
Speaker 1: I had a dude in my like seventh grade science class, he told me that he had sex. Yeah, and he was like she doesn't go to the school but she like goes. She lives in the town but she goes to different schools. I was like sick And I was like what does it taste like? And he looked at, he like looked side to side and he goes, tastes like watermelon. I was like I'm in the first time I ate, you know, cooter, it's like watermelon, sort of watermelon was this guy? Was watermelon made out of a copper penny, jesus, oh, yeah. Yeah, you definitely would have told.
Speaker 1: That's why I would never marry A teacher. No, i'm not getting cucked out. I'm buying a trailer, fuck. But he has a big dick Hanging out with your boys. You're like oh, dude, things are done with me and Jane. Why, man, what's going on? She's having sex with someone else. No, are you fucking kidding Who? man, some eighth grade? He has a fucking Charizard. Okay, what? Yeah, dude, he has a Charizard in a fucking nine inch cock. Fuck them like nine times. What do you say to your buddy? Alrighty, yeah, you can, you don't come back from that, don't as a man. No, come on, dude, that's the ultimate cock Cocked out by an eighth grader by a child dude. Yeah, so stay next.
Speaker 1: If anybody out there is marrying a teacher. You, a female teacher? A female teacher? Yeah, male teachers We all know they're predators, yeah, they're freaks, but they're women teachers though. We don't think about my gym teachers. Yeah, it's not a couple of female gym teachers. And then I have male gym teachers Female gym teachers. I kind of understand male gym teachers. I'm like what are you? What's the end game here? Nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that. Yeah, if you're in high school, we had a way My music teacher had a relationship with one of my friends Nice, yeah, and I didn't find out about it until later and I was like are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 1: He got his mouth shut. Yeah, female, yeah, he got away with it. Hell, yeah, normally, if you're doing that with one girl, i'm sure you're doing it with more. It's so gross, mm, what do you mean? Just if he's getting away with it, who knows how many people he's done.
Speaker 1: Wait, so the teacher was a male. Yeah, oh, and he's banging women? Yeah, well, they didn't bang, they like made out. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, it's weird. It's real weird. It's weird, huh. I mean sorry for listening, but yeah, i know about. If you're my choir teacher, i found out. If you're the chick, i apologize for throwing the shit on the glass. Yeah, if you're the chick, you're a victim. If you're the choir teacher, you're fucking loser dude. That's weird, dude. You're fucking loser. It's the. You are a loser.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is middle school, high school, all right, i mean. And then our college, our and how to call it? our football coach slept with one of the cheerleaders. Yeah, he went to jail. Now he tours the country. He's like don't do that to other teachers. Yeah, he has to go to them.
Speaker 1: And oh, so you want to get your balls tickled by a pom pom after the big game? Well, let me tell you something You're going to lose everything. Welcome to my Ted. Talk Your life, respect your community. Now, here I'm going to show you slides of girls tits. Now you tell me if they're ninth grade or if they're 24. Go ahead, ma'am. Look at this. What do you think? Oh, yeah, is it legal for us to be viewing this? Yes, it's educational, unless she's a freshman, which, in that case, we're all in on it, aren't we Gang? Yeah, i think, i think. I don't think any of. Well, i, yeah, i never found out about any of mine.
Speaker 1: Well then, our woodshop teacher killed his wife Whoa Yeah, murdered her, kept her. She was left in the, in the What the fuck? Left in the bathtub. And then he went to school that day to teach, fair enough. The cops came in and arrested him. How'd they find her? A welfare check Ah, wait. so he killed her and then, like, left her for days. No, same day, it was like later that afternoon, but they, i think there was something shady going on for a few days, ah, like he had her tied up to a radiator or something, something Damn.
Speaker 1: Did you ever take a class with him? No, i took one with the technology. We had like a technology and woodshop to get like a, an auto shop, and I didn't get around to his section yet, god damn, yeah, killed his wife. He was missing a finger. Hell, yeah, yeah, that's a real carpenter right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a carpenter I like, love, i look up to, i love his furniture and stuff like that. His name is Sam Maloof and he's missing. He's missing the tips of like three of his fingers on his like left hand. Hell, yeah, and they were talking about like, hey, you're, you know that happened And he was like the mark of a true cabinet maker. An old cabinet maker told me this mark of a true cabinet maker is you move freely around the machine and if you lose a finger It's part of the trade. and I thought that I was like fuck, i got to lose a finger to get good at this shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, at least respected in the furniture community. Yeah, i mean, anytime I've seen a carpenter missing fingers, i'm like that guy's a bad ass, he's a G. But then I also think maybe he's just drunk and just like shouldn't have been using the table saw. Yeah, cause you haven't done it yet, i don't want to Thanks for saying yet, though, that means you're eligible too. That means I respect you.
Speaker 1: What that? I have? my fingers, yeah, yeah, soft little baby fingers. Oh, leathery, what ring size do you have? 10 and a half, all right, what are you? 12 and a half, yeah, yeah. Well, that's where all that McDonald's goes.
Speaker 1: No, dude, i got, i got. I don't have fat hands. No, you wouldn't call them skinny. They're not chubby. I don't have chubby hands. You got pretty big hands. You got manly hands. Yeah, they were like this when I was 10. Jesus Christ, i've always had big hands. I'm surprised he didn't get along with one of your teachers, big old man. Yeah, i have an itch. Only You can scratch. Young man, yeah, yeah, it might happen in third grade, i don't remember, i don't remember. I don't have big hands. Well, no, you got medium. You have medium.
Speaker 1: Hold on, i bet you wear a small glove, but you, but you refuse to be in the size, so you go regular like medium. Dude, you're like really putting me down. No, i work. It's not putting me down, saying I have small hands. I don't wear a small. No, i'm saying you could probably fit in a small. No, i've tried a small on. It's too tight.
Speaker 1: Let me see these hands again. Let me look at these. Okay, no, they're not small. Those are those. Are that that measurement? right there, they're a little skinny. It's nine.
Speaker 1: You got skinny fingers. Yeah, i got skinny hands. You got wide. Look at my wrist, though. But yeah, it's weird, i got skinny. You got a lot of width between your fingers.
Speaker 1: So what that is? Yeah, what's that Webbing? That's why I was fast at swimming. Dude, you have fucking, i've webbed. You have webbed hands. I didn't. I've never noticed that. Yeah, you have webbed feet. No, not really. Look at these puppies now kidding Yeah, yeah, no, there is a like a webbing. There's a webbing between my fingers. That's cool. No, i was. I was a pretty. I'm not a big guy. Swimmers usually got shoulders, though I used to. I don't have shoulders, yeah, but you got the delts, is that the lats? Yeah, yeah, i got those and stuff, yeah, but I, but I had a real good pull when I was swimming.
Speaker 1: Oh, i think it was because of the webbing. Hell, yeah, and yeah, i would have. I would have got a hold of the NCAA And I would have, like, this guy, this kid, this freak can't fucking swim at me. No, but I'm like a medium large in a golf glove and I'm okay with that. All right, i can bear.
Speaker 1: You know, like sometimes when you get a basketball, you know some you can palm but others you can't. If I get them right in the, it feels so good, dude, when I can palm a ball, but I can't move it around. Apologies, no, dude, you're busy. Dude, yeah, is it your efficient? Oh, yeah, it's a busy week for you. Yeah, friday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you see, i got your gift, or does it not show you? It just shows you someone bought something on your registry? I don't know, i haven't checked. Got you something? The ladies all all up on that. Yeah, i got you some measuring cups, did you? Oh, thank you, i hope someone does.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like a combo. You would get that with some other shit. Yeah, do that. Yeah, you know I have some Sona speakers. You, i could probably Really. Yeah, i'll take those. Yeah, because you got the subwoofer. You can never have too many Sona speakers. Yeah, we'll take some. I heard they're really nice. They're great, are they? Yeah, i mean people. Yeah, we'll make a deal. Okay, i'll give you a good price, dude, you need a night with your wife And you get these speakers before she's your wife. Is that indecent proposal? tonight?
Speaker 1: Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore I'll give you a million dollars to sleep with your wife. And they're like he's not going to do it And she's like it was Woody. And then there was two guys and me more. And then Robert Redford Yeah, it was a Robert Redford. He was the one that did the offer. He's like I want to fuck your wife. And he was like okay, we need a million dollars, all right, yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1: And then did it? I think they did it. I think they fucked. Yeah, i think they fucked. Yeah, that's horrible. I think that's the point. You know, that was the rage back in the day, like that was the conversation. Well, dude, it seems like swing ends a thing now. Yeah, it's pretty acceptable.
Speaker 1: Polyamorous, yeah, yeah, which is cool. Sure, i'm not. I don't think I'm evolved, that evolved, i don't know if it's evolved. I think it's trauma that people have had in their life. Oh, and they're just like, this is how I offset it. Yeah, yeah, that's cool, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, cook, holding is a psychological disorder, you think. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. It's a weird. I mean, it's a kink. That's probably not very healthy, but I guess it's each their own, though. I mean I'm not kink shaming. If people want to be in an open relationship, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine If it works out.
Speaker 1: Somebody I just feel like somebody's going to get hurt. Yeah, i mean, out of the chances, mathematically, of somebody getting hurt, someone's going to get hurt. Someone's in it for the wrong One's in it to get fucked Yeah. Another one's in there because they're just a free spirit, yeah, and the other one's there because they really like one of the two people, yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're talking about the person who's coming into the marriage. It doesn't even need to be a marriage, just a Oh relationship. Yeah, yeah, i couldn't do that. I just feel like I don't want to do this, sorry. Could you have two wives? Yeah, separate, though No, like you know what I mean. You know, i think that'd be a lot, i really do. Yeah, like another house that you got to take care of? Yeah, yeah, and the idea for men is we just want to mistress. that will just satisfy us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was it called? The Sopranos? Not a gumball, i don't know. I've never seen the Sopranos Best show ever. I started watching it, didn't care for it, but you know what That's happened before. It's a couple episodes. Got to get into it. Yeah, then it's the greatest show. I'm breaking bad. And Game of Thrones Best three shows ever. Okay, um, yeah, i just, i think that's a, i think it's just a guide. So, but what about two chicks living together? No, it's like sister wives. Yeah, i'm not going to come up against me and pick me apart like vultures. That's what would happen.
Speaker 1: Respect, sounds like that bird's not consenting, the bird's not doing. well, i think a squirrel got a hold of it. It's like I'm gonna Better, it's a dying squirrel. Make you chirp, dude. I saw a mouse yesterday, a video of a mouse eating a scorpion, and then it howled at the moon. Oh, i saw that And I'm like hell yeah, whoa, good for the mouse. It's like a werewolf thing, dude. It's good for that mouse to wolf up. Yeah, alpha up, alpha mouse. Oh, strong mouse, get out of here, you fucking. They spray that. We get our grass sprayed And they're like, oh, we'll just go to your garage, please.
Speaker 1: When will there ever be a studio here? You think eventually we'll, i don't know. I think we'll start taking the series With some new space I'm getting. I think that's going to be where the podcast is at permanently. That's good. I think that'll be nice. Yeah, little top secret. You've heard it here, folks There's a top secret project going on. Yes, so the secret is not secret, but the secret, this thing that remains Secretive. But whatever that secret is, hopefully we'll be able to tell you more in the next couple months. Stay tuned. It's a big deal though. Yeah, we could change this show a lot Could change lives Creatively. I think it's going to really boom the area. That'd be nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they can be good for you know, like a collective For Dick Trickle. Dick Trickle RIP. Man, same with Dale. Are you going to not kill yourself if your name's Dick Trickle? It's tough man. I don't know why they would do that. Yeah, the Trickle family was like you know what, let's do it Dick Doctors, like really Dick Richard Trickle, dick Trickle. But then he chose to go by Dick. He did, but I think you know which Trickle. He could have been Dusty Trickle, dusty Trickle, slow Trickle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a comedian in Greensboro. His name is Dusty Kegel. He's the host of one of the second, the second open mic I did. Really, he's funny. Yeah, look him up. I've actually thought about reaching out to the guys like that you started with, who were at my first open mic. Yeah, i went like three times before I moved, but they were all funny, like they had like a pretty decent scene down there. Yeah, are they still doing it? Yeah, There's one guy, uh, deha's Hendrick.
Speaker 1: He's real funny. Yeah, um, i'll have him at the sparrow. Yeah, i want him to reach out and see. Yeah, cool, i can have him do some feature work one night. Yeah, yeah, i don't care, i'll do it. I like those guys, though They were funny.
Speaker 1: We had Deha's Flynn the other night. That was good, so talented. I don't like it, but I do, i do. I love it And it makes you go, yeah, yeah, he's just smart, he's just. I think some of it it's extemporaneous, um, and I don't know how he does it. The brilliance of the moment? Yeah, i mean, he had this whole joke and I won't ruin it. But the basic of the joke is you can't be a real dad Without a yard. Without a yard, yeah, it's hilarious the way he I mean, yeah, he breaks it down. That's just the premise And he has like 30 different punch lines on it. Why So good? Fuck that. I a peluchi.
Speaker 1: She got in trouble recently. She got in trouble. She got asked off stage. She got took off stage. Yeah, not even asked, which is funny. She got escorted off, yeah, by some cunt. But I want to know what the joke was. She just said it was a pedophile joke. She said talking about banging kids on a yacht. Yeah, but I want to know what the joke is. Yeah, and I'm sure if I watch any of her recent shit, she's probably said it before, maybe. Yeah, i want to know what it is. But, yeah, some lady in the crowd who was the wife of a convicted pedophile who just got CNN producer Yeah Who home, who owned a yacht, was like I don't like that joke. Well, we better escort her off stage. Check out Adrian Lopilucci. She's great, she's so good And we're going to have her at the sparrow. Shoot her, make Gavin, i think, in I don't know when, sometime, hopefully soon Before the end of the year. Nice, yeah, almost there.
Speaker 1: I talked shit the other night. It just came out of nowhere. When I went up last night and I was just saying how grateful I was that we sold out on a night, that Nate Burgazzi is at the fucking Coliseum with thousands of thousands of people, oh, wow. But these people chose to be at the independent scene and support us And I like went off on this beautiful tangent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was nice Seeing like equations in your eyes. Yeah, like it was like that horrible show. Marvelous, miss Maisel. Yeah, you ever watched that Mm? hmm, ugh, it bothers me. Janet's like I like it And I'm like no, because that's not how comedy is.
Speaker 1: That's not what comedy is. Comedy is not. Like you just had a thought and then now you're going to say everything perfectly. Yeah, no, it takes like in crashing And I don't think you watched it Crashing. It's just the same. You're saying the same shit all the time And then you might come up with some new shit and then, yeah, You still use your old shit over and over and over and over. It's an ugly grind.
Speaker 1: She just made it like it was this Yeah, every time you're trying out. Yeah, every time, every time. Then you go with what works Every time. It's all you can do. Yeah, i mean really, that's all you can do. It's all you can do. You try And whatever happens happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny that one night I was talking about how, uh, what was it? Oh, the uh, what's that word? Bigot? How, when I say it, it sounds racial, yeah, and I said it one night and open mic and everyone laughed Uh-huh, and I was like I'll do this on a page show. Yeah, this is going to work. Not work, didn't work. People were like what? So worse when you try something like I was trying that AIDS bit I was doing about how I learned about in fifth grade, yeah, and worked, like twice, very funny. The first two times I told it, or at least that's the reaction it seemed to get, and then the other times I've told people like what? Like, uh, it's weird. Yeah, and you know I go home every night and I go. You suck You, piece of shit.
Speaker 1: There's something really demoralizing about being at the crossroads of the reality of your dreams coming true and just you being a delusional asshole. Yeah, every time you, every day, more so than ever when the last couple months before the special uh, june 9th, if you haven't bought tickets, assholes, i get imposter syndrome off and on. Like I get this feeling of they're going to find out. Yeah, they're going to all find out that I've just been faking it. Yeah, you know it's going to go horrible and they're going to be like this guy. Yeah, i just I feel like I'm, i'm a fake. Yeah, that's good. It means you're not delusional. Well, to the sense that you're just like everything's going to be perfect, i'm perfect. No, no, no, no. Everything bad that goes wrong is never my fault. I am perfect.
Speaker 1: Ask, janet. I can't tell you how many times I've come home and just been like Janet. I don't know. I don't know. What am I doing? No, janet, i just go. What do I? what am I doing, janet? That's how I say it. Jiji, janet, jabba, la, la, ding dong. I think I've been in trouble here, janet. I don't know what to do. Janet, i think I might be in trouble. I don't like this comedy anymore. I'm not good, 42 years old, hanging out with 22 year olds and talking about my dick. I am considering something different. That's fine, everything's fine, and that's something else.
Speaker 1: Essential oils, essential oils. I put this on my head. Look at this hair. You know, janet, she uses her witchcraft on me with these little vials of, yeah, liquid Liquid. Yeah, it works. What does it calm you down? Yeah, i mean, it will be like. Certain things should be like. Okay, you know, i'll have like a. My elbow will hurt. Put this tea tree mint on it On your foot, yeah, on your big toe.
Speaker 1: You're like well, it feels pretty good. Yeah, i remember this episode of Shameless. Well, this lady was massaging one of the character's foot and he's like, and she's like this is the area that I'll bring into the spot, and he's like what's spot? And she goes rubbing his foot and he's like, oh, and he just comes. That'd be great. The body's all connected, dude.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do acupuncture just to see if I mean, i would, i would love that. If there was that spot on the foot, i would rub it. I'd have it like I'd be rubbing it right now. Yeah, i'd have like a some, some sort of like corner in the room that I just put my toe on. Just, oh, geez, all the time You're just stepping on it. Yeah, a Sibian for my foot. Yeah, dinner's ready here. Hold on. Hold on one sec. Oh, okay, cool, oh wow. But that's the way you sound. Every time it's from your foot You sound like an old man, yeah, like you just stubbed it. Oh, oh shit.
Speaker 1: There was some woman talking about how that's a guy thing We're just horny all the time. It's just like well, there's this lady talking about how she worked at this clinic for like men and doing like blood work and hormonal balance and stuff, and she sat down to like clean a chair or something or a chair that a patient had just been in and was kind of oily. She's like huh, that's weird. I guess maybe somebody polished the leather or whatever. It's testosterone. And then later on the day she's like I want to fuck everybody in this office right now. And she couldn't understand why. And then she realized, oh, it's because my testosterone levels shot through the roof to that of a man's And I'm just this horny little creature now just thinking about what it'd be like if they were on my face. Oh, oh, oh, put your foot right there.
Speaker 1: Yes, you ever get that climbing rope in gym class Where you remember, and you get that feeling in like your nuts and you'd be like, oh yeah, i remember climbing the rope in gym class and just hanging there and being like so we wear these big chemical suits in the military And every time I would get into it, i had a retention cord that you would from your jacket, you would pull in between your legs and button in the front to keep it down, and you would sit all day in this gear and I would get hard. Dude, it was my freedom boner, bro. I just wanted to be all about America, but every time I was in my chemical suit, it just stand up for the fronkel sand every day. Yeah, the troops. Yeah, i'd like wanted to do a full inspection, full salute, every day, every day, just yeah, there's something about the feeling of pants sometimes. And he like it, just like I don't get random boners anymore.
Speaker 1: Well, you're at that age. You got to save your boners. Yeah, yeah, you got to conserve bone. You're next Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that yours? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fucking. You're whoa, jesus, sorry, my sound was going off a little bit. You're dicks getting wise. It's tired, is it? dog? that doesn't need to. You know, butterfly flies by. It doesn't need to perk, it's start barking. Mother nature is like you should slow down on kids. Let's make these last. These are going to be important boners. You got 18 blanks left. That's it. It's not going to be 18 bullets, kid. No, it's not going to be a breeze from the Southeast that gets going anymore. No, it's going to be something else.
Speaker 1: Those were horrible, especially like when you make out with a chick the narbs. Well, that's a reason when you're young, that's a reason right now. Yeah, painful, unreleaved boners. Oh, they were the worst, yeah. And then now we make we of course we make them a joke Blue balls Yeah, you get blue balls.
Speaker 1: Blue balls is probably the worst thing I've ever experienced. Yeah, it's like a fire hydrant and they just keep giving it water. It's going to blow. The fire hydrant can't handle. It starts to like create It's dangerous and the nuts and the washers are starting to turn on it and explodes, yeah. And then you have And it's just shrapnel in the sky Every time I have blue balls and relieve myself, crack my back.
Speaker 1: Every time I've done that it was the worst pain And the best And the best pain. It's like I wouldn't want to repeat it. It's a sharp hug. You know, sharp hand hug the hand, hug the old hand. The name of this episode hand hugs and grenades. Hand hugs and grenades. Yeah, you do the same. You grab them with your hands and there's an explosion. You hope nobody gets hurt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and never threw a grenade. You regret that? Yeah, a little bit. That'd be nice to throw. Just, you know, lob one. You fired an RPG though. Right, yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, a rocket propelled grenade. Yeah, just a grenade propelled by a rocket. Yeah, you did not your God's rocket, not your arm. No, that was a great one Rocket. God gave me that rocket. Yeah, a rocket propelled. That's a man gave me the other one. Rpg sounds so much nicer than a rocket.
Speaker 1: I want to one of those tank busters, dude, the ones that just shoot right up in the air and then they do. They come down, come down and just hit something. I was watching this war. It's like wars of the 21st century. It's this account on Instagram. Yeah, and it's. This is really guy like kind of like looking around, yeah, and then a sniper just shoots him, hits him in the head but it just flows, throws his helmet off and he's like I've seen that, i don't know. Yeah, have you seen that one with the body, the? it's like a Jello body gelatin. And then it's hit with a Howard sir, oh, the fifth, like the big bullet, yeah, yeah, and it just explodes, just shred. Yeah, insanity, it's insanity. Body. There's some badass weapons out there.
Speaker 1: We've gotten really good at making tools. Well, now, like when those guns literally look like just one line, yeah, and then it's just these, you know, thousands and thousands arounds being just shot into the earth. Yeah, love it, it's wild. So good We're. We're in an hour, dude. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, we didn't get anywhere. Did we ever do? Would you like to one day? I mean, we solved Kennedy's assassination. We haven't even come close. Here's the thing, and we got to be real about this. Neither of us have ever done any prep or any research, ever, ever, ever. And sometimes it shows, yes. Other times, i think maybe we bullshit our way through it and we win.
Speaker 1: It'd be nice to have, like people want listen, an article or like a point of reference. You know we did that when we talked about the Hershey factory. But we just you had a computer and you're like let's look this up, and then we just started talking about. But imagine if we did, like two weeks early, little prep, little news articles, and we came prepared something. Like I came with one article to talk about and you came with an article to talk about something or whatever it is Something, but like we prepare. Yeah, could you imagine? Could you imagine if we had some a producer?
Speaker 1: I like the idea of sitting in a room late at night and just like rubbing my head and being like, yeah, like pouring over complex information and trying to make something of it. I like that idea. I like it. When I've tried it, i'm like I just want to go to bed. Same, this is better to me. Yeah, like that. Like I'm getting too old for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, i don't want to hear those opinions. No, opinions just muddle the clarity of reality. They're just like assholes. Yeah, everybody has them in a gym. Teacher. Once again, side of them. I like that. Thank you, i mean I think it was pretty good. Yeah, yeah, could have been, could have been, not, but it wasn't. It was just what it was. I'm glad I remembered my level. I needed that. Oh, yeah, your level's right there. Right there, rare, you have anything else here, i think. So The song's never going to change, is it? No, i don't think it is All right. I mean it could change Maybe when we have the big change. Yeah, we can change it. Yeah, entirely. Yeah, we'll change it. All right, don't hit it again.