Lowcountry Lowlifes
Maybe the greatest mediocre podcast you've never heard. Listen to comedian Josh Bates and Dan Sweeney talk about something and nothing all at once. Insightful? Maybe. Entertaining? Kinda. A waste of your time? Absolutely. Oh....and Dan quit the show
Lowcountry Lowlifes
The Boys Are Back In Town
Josh and Dan are back.
we did it. We're here, we're back. We are here. We're here, we're back. This is j here. We're here, we're back. This is Josh Bates, dan.
Speaker 3:Sweeney.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to Low Country, Low Lies. We've been gone for a little bit.
Speaker 3:Little hiatus. A little, it's been a year.
Speaker 2:Has it been a year?
Speaker 3:I think it's been a good amount of time.
Speaker 2:It's been quite a length of time to the point where, in this small amount of time, a lot's happened a lot's happened a lot has happened and this is the recap episode. Yeah, this isn't gonna we're gonna mix shit up yeah it's new dan sweeney, new josh bates, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, in some ways life has changed dramatically for the both of you never step into the same river twice, and boy are we rivers rivers and roads, and mountains and valleys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mountains change, but rivers the big news that you've had, the big life change you've had. Mr dan has been. You are with child now I am with child.
Speaker 3:Thank you very much.
Speaker 2:I haven't talked to you since we last podcasted.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, we haven't spoken since I came out tonight to see the new club.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I own a comedy club, you own a comedy club.
Speaker 3:It's weird to say, it's weird to be Well, well, I you know what.
Speaker 2:no let's do to you. Let's not in here let's not lie.
Speaker 3:Okay, we've been in communication. I remember when this place was just studs and dreams, studs and dreams, studs, and great name for a gay bar, yeah, uh, but now it's yeah, I mean, it's a whole place, it's got a great stage, it's got a nice vibe, it's got an upstairs, it's got a downstairs also good name for a gay club upstairs and downstairs yeah, that is good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, let's talk. Fuck the comedy club, let's talk about this kid.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a sweet baby girl, dude how old is she now?
Speaker 2:she is, uh, she's gonna be four months in july so what I have noticed about you yeah, is you one. I think you're gonna be a good dad thank you uh, I mean, I'm trying, you're, but what I?
Speaker 3:haven't left?
Speaker 2:what I've noticed? You haven't left, you haven't gone to go get milk yet, no, but what I have noticed is you're very protective of not only the baby but your wife. Like you very, you ask a lot of the right questions but like you're very concerned all the time. And what's interesting about first time fatherhood is the constant fear.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I live in a perpetual state of terror and then also just like pure joy, punctuated by crippling, fucking fear and terror. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's, it's a, it's a, it's a whirlwind, and with the wife especially. Um, the amount of work they call it labor in child. It's insane. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It is and I yeah, I mean you're there and you watch the whole. I did nothing. It is and I yeah, I mean you're there and you watch the whole. I did nothing. All I had to do was stay awake and drink coffee and chew on nicotine. I didn't have to do that much.
Speaker 2:You're no longer on darts.
Speaker 3:You've been off darts for a while, Dude when we found out that the baby was coming, you gave the baby a cigarette. We said, hey, no, we both smoked our last uh cigarette. So like she threw the pregnancy test in my head yeah well, that's how I woke up. Little piss stick in the face damn look what you fucking did. Uh, it would.
Speaker 3:She did say look what you did, yeah, and I was like sweet okay, um, and then we went and smoked our last cigarette, and that was August of 23. And so, yeah, I've been dart free since 23.
Speaker 2:You're clean as a whistle.
Speaker 3:I still do the Zin, the nicotine, but otherwise, yeah, I'm a clean man.
Speaker 2:I think Jesus would Zin.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I think Jesus ripped darts. You see that fella. I mean he had the long hair, the beard, everything like that. But yeah, I mean the labor was 28 hours.
Speaker 2:That's yeah, it was insane yeah.
Speaker 3:And she wanted to do the you know because we had. You know, we talked about it. Yeah, we went over to your house. We had wings, the ladies talked, they squawked with one another those wings were okay, they were all right. I felt a little sick. I was actually. It was funny because during, while she was pregnant, I was very uh, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a worst case, I'm a murphy's law kind of guy, yeah, and so you cooked them.
Speaker 3:You cooked them, well, yeah, and I, and, and then, but I, while you, while we were eating them, I was like I feel a little weird I was like, if these aren't cooked enough, she's gonna die and that baby's gonna die did you really have that thought yeah, just chicken.
Speaker 2:Like you were worried, I was gonna give you salmonella.
Speaker 3:Well, no, like they were under. No, uh, look you did no, it's fine. You did a couple tours.
Speaker 2:You have some bad you have some ptsd in my head. Yeah, who knows what he did to these wings yeah, I don't know, you know you could have put a little Agent Orange, yeah a little Fallujah spice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, it could have. No, they were great wings.
Speaker 2:They were fine.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I just became hyper aware of her and I really wanted to protect her. Like I got real weird around kitchen knives, like when I was cooking dinner and stuff, and if she was walking in the kitchen yeah I would, I'd move, yeah I'd turn away. Don't look at that because she, when so you stopped chucking knives at your wife, I stopped throwing them at her.
Speaker 3:I was like we can't do this anymore no longer throw knives and she's like this is the only thing that gets me going, and then she put the apple on her head.
Speaker 2:She's like do it, do it, bitch pussy.
Speaker 3:You're fucking puss and I did it and I still got it. Um, but when she she said when a pregnant woman's like a really beautiful, it's hot brother sexy I get it, I get it it was a whole new. Yeah, I, I think pregnant women are the hottest.
Speaker 2:It because it's it's a hot it they, they be their whole body becomes pheromones too.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of pheromones, oh and I was picking them up yeah because I now, I have a sense of smell now because the darts I'm no longer, I don't have the dead and dart nose. You know, I got, I got, oh yeah, I was catching all that that. Uh, it's not musk, I guess it's pheromones. It's musk, it's, yeah, that feminine musk that sweaty, you know, sitting in sweatpants all day plug dude oh yeah, the birthing smells are interesting, but here's the thing.
Speaker 2:I don't remember a smell here's the thing I realized.
Speaker 3:I realized about myself is I'm not disgusted by things.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, after you see that and you see a lot of baby shit. Yeah, no, it's just you don't like black baby shit for a couple of weeks, not, not black baby, yeah, no it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's it, it's literally whatever they were ingesting in the belly Baby black shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not black baby shit. Let's call him Marconi, which, incidentally, would be a great name for, anyway, gay bar. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I watched the baby come out of the. I called you. This is the best advice I've ever gotten, by the way, in my life was I called you and I'm I? You know, I was a nervous mess. I stopped going to Mike's. I was renovating a house. I was you moved. Yeah, I was very, it was very stressed. Yeah, we got married, I knocked her up, we moved into a house and then I tore the house apart and then was on a deadline and to get it all done before this thing came flying out of her. Yeah, um, but I called you and I was like I I didn't know what to do. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Speaker 3:Yeah at all yeah, prior to that, when you don't know what you're doing, it's fine. Sure, because it's you, it doesn't matter, it really is of no consequence. But then, when there's another thing, the stakes are very high. So I was calling you, I was freaking out yeah I was like what do I do? What do I?
Speaker 3:and you said just get the nurses donuts and they will take care of you yeah and I did that because in the beginning we got this big old cunt of a nurse who was not nice to my wife. Yeah, to the point where I was, I was getting a little agitated, a little heated, sure, I was like don't talk to my wife this is her first birth. Yeah, I get, you're a bit jaded because you see this all the time might be the end of her shift.
Speaker 3:Yeah, might have pulled a double and you don't seem like a nice person. Anyway, it's not the kind of person I'd like to hang out with in a meadow and have a discussion with yeah, you know, yeah, she sucks.
Speaker 2:She's not gonna be on our podcast when I got the donuts things changed she was nicer.
Speaker 3:They changed a lot. Nicer. Yeah, no, that she literally changed.
Speaker 2:I learned that not only with the babe, with my kids, but uh with uh, just working in a hospital, like if you go around and just give like nurses, like a lollipop, yeah gaggles of women love sweet things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm, I'm, it's, it's interesting because I'm. You should never generalize, no, ever except unless you're trying to make sense of the world in a big picture sense and if you give donuts to a bunch of women who deliver babies, they get happy, they get really happy. They're like get really happy they were all very nice, but then the shift changed. I had to go out. I got more donuts. I kept having to go back and get donuts because new gaggles. It was 28 hours.
Speaker 2:Did your wife have a first meal after the baby was? Did she crave something and you go out and get it?
Speaker 3:What was interesting this is kind of the pack of cigarettes moment. Interesting, this is a this is a kind of the pack of cigarettes moment was in the beginning she had to get induced. So the ob came in, was like hey, if you want any food, like now's the time to do it, because we're about to inject you with a bunch of that's chemicals and bullshit, yeah. And so I went to chick-fil-a and I'm driving to chick-fil-a and I was like I could just keep driving down this road and never turn back, never turn back no, and I have a whole a completely different.
Speaker 3:Take a gas I could have, I could have gone yeah but I went to chick fil a, got her chick fil a. She ate the chick fil a. They gave her the pitocin, which is just like oxytocin. I don't know how they get it. I think like they just get like a two animals bonding and then kill them and pull the chemicals out. I don't know, but that just made her puke and everything and afterwards she had no deli meats. She's very strict about.
Speaker 3:They were like you can't eat deli meats because it gives you listeria yep and uh, I went and got her alvin ords, shout out to alvin ords and we had uh the salvation and a little uh, it's like. It's like every deli meat, it's like ham, salami, pepperoni, turkey sounds good.
Speaker 2:Where's this at?
Speaker 3:this is they got them. They got them in uh, they got them in west ashley. They got them in james island. Same asian guy runs both of them real nice guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like if I drive to one and go to the other.
Speaker 3:He used to always be at the west ashley one and I used to go to that one and he knows my name. Yeah, he goes, hey dan, and I go hey man, which maybe is his name, uh, and, and then, and then they opened up a new location when james island, like right near us, and same guy he goes, hey dan, and I go, hey man janice was sushi nice, immediately wanted yeah I don't trust sushi after uh fukushima, after they just dumped that water into the ocean.
Speaker 2:None of that's from yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm not getting straight Japanese sushi.
Speaker 2:You're not getting Japanese sushi bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not coming over in a container.
Speaker 2:No, it's coming from some. Some sushi chef's in the yeah no, I just don't trust fish.
Speaker 3:I had some shrimp tonight and I got the bubble guts and everything like that, but we kept the gender a surprise.
Speaker 2:We kept the baby.
Speaker 3:We kept the baby.
Speaker 2:We did, yeah the gender was a surprise.
Speaker 3:right until it came out, didn't want to know.
Speaker 2:Did the doctor say it or did you see it?
Speaker 3:They said you shout, you say what it is, just to make sure. No, this is very you shout, you say what it is, and so the baby, just to make sure.
Speaker 2:No, it's pretty clear.
Speaker 3:This is very interesting, and I don't want to be crass. Be crass, it's fine, it's not crass. This is the thing. I live in a weird world now, where my mom will go. So how's Katie's vagina? Because, she's genuinely interested in how she's healing after the trauma of childbirth yeah so it's like taking on it.
Speaker 3:So when I looked at my daughter's little baby vagina yeah, baby vaginas are very swollen- yeah so it just looked like two giant nuts, yeah, or like, yeah, two walnuts that were maybe hiding a secret, I don't know and tight-lipped walnut.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just walnuts, like I'll never tell.
Speaker 3:But I was like, you know, I was crying, I was like it's a girl and uh, yeah, I've, yeah, it's the best day of my life. 100, 100, that's great sure and then katie left you.
Speaker 2:We didn't talk about that part.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, she she had an affair. She um if she did With the physical therapist who was helping her heal. Oh she helped her. Gustav, you're a nice pussy. We fix it. It's very, very nice. He's a very good pussy, but it is a good penis. It's a strong penis, not a weak Irish penis. I don't know where Gustav's from.
Speaker 2:He's from Bulgaria.
Speaker 3:No, you keep a foreskin Bulgaria dude.
Speaker 2:I got beef with Bulgaria. What about him? Dated this girl real serious for a long time. We broke up and she started dating a bouncer and he's from Bulgaria. I don't know anyone from Bulgaria. I know two things about Bulgariagaria that he exists yeah sofia is the capital, that's it okay, I know.
Speaker 3:So what do you? What caused this uh young temptress to leave your stable? Um, uh, I don't remember really I mean I'm looking at you, I could come up with some military, okay. So this is young josh. Yeah, this is young, desperate josh young buck. Yeah, she was a lawyer, she was oh yeah, so she was law school way out of your league.
Speaker 2:Well she no, then she ended up marrying a fucking bouncer I don't know, maybe he writes poetry and beats people up. I mean, that's an interesting guy right there met doing theater, so we were like real artsy.
Speaker 3:And then yeah, and then you're like I'm gonna go kill people but anyway.
Speaker 2:So that's great dude.
Speaker 3:Your daughter is beautiful, thank you, yeah, no, I like, I like looking at her and she's starting to smile now, like she's starting to kind of like wake. It's a slow dial-up speed of human consciousness like. That's how, how long it takes for humans to because the first two weeks were pure joy and then just fucking hell oh yeah because, she thought night was day and day was night.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and she was, uh, she's jaundiced, so she looked like she had the skin of like a 60 year old alcoholic with a failing, just yellow. Yeah, I mean to get like a blanket and put her out in the sun because, just all you know, it's like all these crazy things you don't know about and you just have to learn with the stakes of it being the thing you love the most in the in your entire life and it's weird too, because, like at that, at this age, dan, you're gonna learn that like there's so many books about everything and so much knowledge about stuff, yeah, and then they get older and then you're just on your own, yeah.
Speaker 2:At a certain point then it's like hey, how do you deal with when your kid likes the other kids neighbors but your neighbor, the parents, are assholes yeah, how do you deal with that? How do you navigate that? Like there's no book there are there are technically books, but it's not black and white like it is with having a young child in your home no, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, at a certain point you're kind of left to the training that your parents did to you, isn't that?
Speaker 2:beautiful too that that, that training, that's kind of handed down yeah, it's like a secret, like it's a you're part of the club now in the family well yeah, I mean it's a beautiful thing it's a big thing about humanity.
Speaker 3:It's like this oral tradition where they tell you this is how you should be and you kind of like, you're like yeah, like when your mom's asking about your wife or your daughter's vagina yeah, how is it?
Speaker 2:is it nice or what's the? What's the consistency? Is it filming?
Speaker 3:yeah, I mean changing a. A young like this is the most I've dealt with vagina cleaning, a vagina ever oh, it's the most you've dealt with the vagina.
Speaker 2:Let's be honest. Yeah, we're in and out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah no, I'm not and I'm not like yeah you know what I mean. I have to take care I literally am in and out and then I leave the care and the maintenance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because she's not going to do anything, she'll just shit all day and be like whatever somehow that shit goes right up the front oh, it's pure physics, I mean, it's just, you know, it's a nightmare.
Speaker 3:It is a nightmare and the thing that I wanted to do was a buddy of mine told me this. He was like change as many diapers as you can. And I think you might have told me this. Or I got another ginger buddy he's got a kid and he was like change as many diapers, change all the diapers, like the first three weeks, and the rest will kind of fall into place. So I've just tried to change as many diapers as possible muscle memory well, yeah, and I'm, and you get comfortable.
Speaker 3:I was very uncomfortable holding her because she's very fragile. Yeah, the only thing I've held is how your life is. In your hands are cats, and when you're dumb in the cat, you just fucking throw it and it just lands on its feet, yeah, and you're just like all right, bye, but with her, I mean, you put her down gently. She's like is her?
Speaker 2:head okay yeah, I mean it's all. Yeah. What I learned too, is like, at the end of the day, whenever, if the baby's having a really bad day, all you have to do is shake it.
Speaker 3:Yes, and that was the interesting thing, like when you're leaving the hospital don't shake your baby and you're like I get it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're like no, I don't think you get it because, shake your baby they're like, yeah, and you watch a video and they're like, don't shake your baby. And we're looking at one of them, like, okay, yeah. And then, like at three in the morning, when you've got no sleep and it's just crying in your face, you go oh yeah, that's why they have that video yeah, somebody's like because the the instinct in that moment is to stop the baby from crying and you don't know why it's crying.
Speaker 3:It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, if you take a step back, it makes total sense. Yeah, because the baby was in a belly and now it's out in the world, sure, where joe biden's president and donald trump's still running for president, and it's upset and it just doesn't know how to deal with Israel and Palestine and Ukraine and Russia it doesn't know what to do, so it just cries and you want to go get her together but you can't like there's I totally.
Speaker 3:It was so funny how you think this doesn't apply to me and then you go.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, because there's this thing where you're like frustrated, but the love for the thing trumps yeah I mean, and now, like my bait, like tonight I was putting her down and she's being real fussy and I just, you, just I gotta rock the baby. You just rock the baby, you walk around. She likes being walked around. So I do little laps in and out of the nursery and I count like rain man. I like one, two, three, until I get to my three favorite numbers and generally when I hit one of those three numbers, she'll she will have fallen asleep and then I can put her down gently it's the best it's the best good, another good one yeah sounds like the ocean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like just literally shush her, but you can even do it loud yeah not like a japanese whaling ship, but like the soothing ebb and flow of the ocean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um when, uh, my ex-wife and I, when we had our, our son, my first child, uh, we were very young and we went to like a parenting class and it was like the, the, the birthing class and parenting one-on-one and it was so fun.
Speaker 2:All the parents, different parents groups, were there and we're all getting to know people. And everyone was like in their third trimester and they're cracking jokes, there's food, we're having a great time, and they're like oh hey, the end, we forgot this thing. We're going to show you guys this quick video, you guys check it out and then, if you guys have any questions, we'll be back. And it popped in the video they left and it was about shaking the baby and it was like the biggest bummer ever in today. We're about to have this kid and they're like don't shake your baby. And we're like, oh, okay, duh.
Speaker 2:And then they're like I shook my baby, and they're like showing these, yeah, true stories. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm like motherfucker, yeah fuck them.
Speaker 3:I don't need to see that.
Speaker 2:No, my pregnant wife doesn't need to see this. No, and like I mean, I get that they're trying to really send it home and but it was just funny how that's the world it was yeah, and then they were like, by the way, you got to watch this well, and that's the thing, is like they're covering their ass.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, because at some point you back in a couple of days no, at some point somebody's came back and was like I shook my baby. And they're like well, you shouldn't have done that. And they're like well, I didn't know that, I'm gonna fucking sue you and the hospital's like well, they're really just trying to make sure that's what.
Speaker 3:That's the biggest thing I got from hospitals. I was like, oh, they're just trying to cover their ass this entire time. They told us we couldn't film, which I thought was strange. I was like what? Yeah, they're like you can't film any of the birth or anything like that. You can't film those moments. And I was like really, yeah, my wife and I were like that's fucking weird. And then, prior to like days before, because she started getting high blood pressure and things like that doctor was like uh, we're gonna have to induce you and my wife's like I give so much credit to my wife because she's like no, yeah, which is first time mom pregnant, first time guy doctor's like we're gonna to induce you, otherwise, you know, you might die.
Speaker 2:And most women would be like, okay, and my wife's like no, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 3:And the doctor was like I strongly recommend. And Katie was like, no, yeah, I heard you, I'm not, we're not doing this. And the guy was like, okay, she went home and she was fine, yeah. And then we had to go back the next day and the doctor saw us and this doctor there's cool doctors and then there's dickheads because doctors are just people, they're flawed and they just do weird things. And that doctor was like, yeah, you're fine. So it's just very strange how the medical industry and you got to do this. You got to do that.
Speaker 2:And it's just all.
Speaker 3:It's a numbers game to make up your own mind.
Speaker 2:People, it's a business it's a business but at the same time, like you said, people are people, they're doctors, they all have different philosophies, different backgrounds, yeah, and have different opinions on how to do it yeah, well, and they want to.
Speaker 3:That's the whole interest of the thing. Is I? The only time I've gone to the hospital is when I I've split my chin open, I've like when I've gotten seriously injured, and then that's most of a hospital, and then there's this whole other thing where it's like and childbirth you know it's weird is you know?
Speaker 2:alan watts, philosopher, talks about hospitals and how we have babies at hospitals yeah and we die a lot of times at hospitals. Yeah. Why do we take a person that's dying to? A hospital. I don't know Like I'm talking like end of life, not like they got in a car wreck, but I mean like they're 95 and that is interesting hospital because we feel that's where we take them because they're sick or they're not well, but it's just part of life.
Speaker 3:Well, it's, yeah, I mean it's that thing where, like, we're a benevolent species and I think maybe some of its self-preservation, where we don't want the death of somebody. If we can, if we can kind of put it away, we can kind of I did all I could. I mean, I brought them to the hospital. It's like they were 98 and blind and they had 90 brain tumors and then they're like, but I took him to the hospital it's like you could have just let them die in that chair.
Speaker 3:They're like I had to save them. It's a good chair? I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think there is something very interesting about that yeah it is interesting how in like places like canada and stuff like that, they're just like you do you. You can euthanize your. You know that's there's this whole movement. People are killing themselves. Yeah, you themselves. I can't deal with the world and people aren't stigmatizing it as much, but it can kind of have this. There was a veteran in Canada and she was disabled. She's like I need a ramp for my house. I'm having trouble getting in and out of my house. And the government came back and was like have you thought about killing yourself? God damn. She's like have you thought about killing?
Speaker 2:yourself, god damn.
Speaker 3:She's like no, I'm just looking for a ramp, yeah, I just need a ramp and they're like but that's a lot of timber, I mean you know you could have, you thought about dying. It's so interesting. And now, yeah, taking her to the doctor. I'm just very protective. Yeah. And it's scary because you got to take some things on faith and faith is a very you just kind of have to like let go a little bit and control what you can control.
Speaker 2:We done good Dan.
Speaker 3:Thanks yeah.
Speaker 2:And now you just have a lifetime the rest of your living life You'll be a father.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, I will. If I do everything right, yeah, and nothing terrible happens, yeah blessing and that gift, yeah but thank you. Yeah, it was, it was. It was great leaning on you. Oh, I appreciate that, buddy, after quitting the show and spreading all those vicious rumors about you. Yeah, you still helped me, I'm still there, you said buddy, I'm here just get donuts.
Speaker 2:Just get donuts and shake your baby it's. It's all you got to do, bud my seed, all right. Yeah, I've never had a cum shot with so many consequences I thought it was really cool that you let me have sex with your wife yes um during childbirth yeah, I was like I was like you know what we'll?
Speaker 3:do this up, it'll be safe. Yeah, induction, you're like, I'm mr induction, that's what they call me. It's weird how you're wearing a cape and calling yourself induction man. Yeah, induction man, yeah, and I said all right well, you're like are you sure? And I'm like, oh yeah yeah, well, they'd given the epidural, she was asleep.
Speaker 3:No big deal yeah, it's fine you do what you can for your wife and your children. Yeah, women are superheroes. I think they're totally the best people to be mothers. Totally, women are like totally, totally made for that bar none. They're superheroes. Yeah, they're great.
Speaker 2:They don't need to be in the workforce yeah, or have any opinions outside of the household? No, they can have opinions, uh, as long as they keep them to themselves, as long as they're in the four walls everything's fine. Well, good, dan, I'm glad it was. It was a good time away for the podcast for you. Yeah, I mean it was a good time, sure, yeah, how are you?
Speaker 3:I've been busy, I know that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's good to see uh we're hearing the fruits of the labor you have a good reason to live besides your children.
Speaker 2:No, we'll talk about that it's true, you know, I, um, you know. So, for those that listen that aren't, you know, know, around town, the the Sparrow, where you and I used to do comedy all the time, uh is no more. Uh, it went away. And uh, me and a guy, uh, my now business partner, uh, we were like let's do this, I think we can do this, we can replicate this, make it more comedy centric and do it. And so we, we looked around town for many moons. I, I think I took you to each site we had several moons.
Speaker 2:I went to every site and yeah yeah, I'd get excited about a building and it just wouldn't work no it was too expensive or the logistics of it didn't make sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then we got to this spot and you know I'll never forget, the landlord was like hey, I want to show you this place, but before I do I'll show you this other place. I'm like, okay, he's like I don't think it's going to work for you because it's it's four offices. Yeah, I'm like well, then, why are you showing it to me? So we went and looked at these four offices, yeah, and I was like this yeah, because they're all together, there's two on the bottom, two on the top and I was like one could be the bar, one can be a theater. Upstairs, we'll have a little VIP room, we'll have a green room.
Speaker 3:A vision came to you, an apparition. It did, yeah, it did.
Speaker 2:And. I was like this, I think this is gonna work and you know, the good thing about my partner is he believes in me. Yeah, trust me, yes. So he's like I go, we'll. We'll go with your vision.
Speaker 2:You do what you do against the better judgment of society yeah he he believes yeah, um and so, yeah, we, we started construction back in. Uh, started in november of 2023. Yeah, is when construction started. And and uh, we opened on june 1. Uh, wits end june 1, june 1, all right, yeah, first I mean june 1 okay, civilians say that dude june 1, dude civilians. Yeah, military is june 1, on june 1st okay, fair enough yeah yeah, I mean my apologies but I wouldn't say june 2.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say june 2, it's june 1, june 1, yeah, june 2 anyway. Um. So yeah, I opened a comedy club. We've been running shows. We had a sellout this last weekend. We're upstairs in the studio right now doing this. That's nice. Yeah, the air is blowing and we're just wasting money. That's what it's all.
Speaker 3:You know, Josh, it's Econ 101. You got to spend money to make money. Well, I'd like to make money. That's what it's all. You know, Josh, it's econ 101. You got to spend money to make money.
Speaker 2:Well, I'd like to make money.
Speaker 3:You know who said that, adolf Zucker. He was the CEO of the famous players Lasky, which was one of the first movie studios at the turn of the century.
Speaker 2:Also. And then they made I don't know if you know this in the concessions they would say hey, these are real zingers and they were zinger little Debbie cakes, really, and they're the inventors of the zinger Debbie cake. No, I did not know that, because I made it up Nice.
Speaker 3:Well, you said it with conviction and I believed it. Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:But no comedy. It's interesting, it's scary as fuck. Yes, it is the one of the most frightening things I've ever done in my life because, uh, not only is it a business and you want to succeed. You've been to war, yeah, but no, like you want to succeed. But the thing being a comedian yeah is you want to. There's like two things you're trying to please at the same time, and if you fail, then you failed as a comic too, somehow yeah, it's double failure.
Speaker 2:It's double failure, yeah and you know we put a large amount of money. My wife and I uh put a good sum of money into this oh yeah and uh. Luckily, my wife is amazing and supportive of all of this, which blows my mind women, women, women, um, but it's also gave me purpose during the day yeah you know uh when you needed that yeah, I haven't had a full-time job, I haven't worked really in like three years, yeah, so ever since the incident ever since the incident, where I'm no longer yeah, technically we don't need to talk about it.
Speaker 3:There's lawyers and shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the incident um, no, but it's given me reason to, to you know, be more active uh, yeah and then it's helped. My wife probably wishes it would be more around the house, but I'm tired.
Speaker 3:You're a man you're a man out in the world striking out in business you know it's neat that like there's people downstairs right now yeah that are employed by you yeah, that you are helping america recover from 9-11 and covid yeah, I mean, I'm the heartbeat of america, right now small business. You're fostering the arts. I heard of a food on tables.
Speaker 3:I heard of a young old lady. She came in here dying. She had AIDS cancer. She laughed, cured, cured. She's fine Now. Is that warrant you going home kicking your feet up and not doing dishes? I'd say so.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you know know what's weird is that same lady she came in. I don't know if you saw her. She came in yesterday. She looked great. Well, yeah, she's training to be in the the olympics. She is. You know what she's doing yeah uh, no, I don't. I don't either. I was hoping you did no.
Speaker 3:Uh, what I will say is, while she was cured of those terrible diseases, her perception of time is still off, because Olympic trials has, I believe, come and gone. So she will have to train for 2028, but she's still. By the way, are you a little nervous about these Paris Olympics? I would not want to be in Paris.
Speaker 2:Paris is pretty a lot of resistance.
Speaker 3:Yeah, soccer fucked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they got a weird government.
Speaker 3:Just seems like, it just seems squirrely over there it's been and they were supposed to. They were supposed to kind of like all line up along the river and, uh, piss on croissants, or something like that they changed the retirement age by two years and they flipped the fuck out yeah, they were like which I respect.
Speaker 2:they were like, which I respect. They were throwing their fucking. I respect that Croutons, not even their croissants. Yeah, their croutons Macron Is crouton, a French word, I bet it is, it sounds French. Crouton, no crouton.
Speaker 3:They took her back to my place, took a crouton, shoved it up a beaver.
Speaker 2:Ate a salad. Beaver is actually the French word for pussy. You know what?
Speaker 3:the strongest animal in the world is what? The beaver?
Speaker 2:Hey now, hey now, hey now hey now?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, so she's doing better. And I like Josh with purpose. I like Driven Josh. Driven Josh is a fun guy to be around. Yeah, Josh, at home, don't, I don't want to the casting couch too, I don't want to see. Come on your dumb fat cock. I don't need to see that. It's so dumb I don't want to look at it. All right, it's dumb. All right, it upsets me.
Speaker 2:I put my balls on you once. You did Accidentally yeah, I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, I should have known that was going to happen based off of what I was doing, but you were sitting in a bar stool and, jokingly, I put my leg over your leg. Yeah, and I felt heavy flesh orbs, yeah, these orbs, yeah, just dropped right on your leg. And I even looked at you and I said I think my balls just touched your leg and you're like yeah, I think they did what are you a detective?
Speaker 3:You're like, I think, by putting my balls on your leg.
Speaker 2:They were on your leg. I just felt like I violated you a little bit.
Speaker 3:It was. You know what. That sort of Tom. Here's the thing. I don't play sports anymore, so I grab ass slapping each other. You know all that stuff. Hadn't done in a while, brought you back. No, in the real world it feels different. Now it's you so like, and I know you, so I wasn't like.
Speaker 2:Just some foreign balls.
Speaker 3:I don't think I freaked out, not a French guy's balls. Yeah, feel these.
Speaker 2:You like these.
Speaker 3:You like these nuts? You like these nuts, these salty French nuts? No, knowing it was you is nice. It wasn't nice, but I just didn't mind it because I don't feel unsafe with you.
Speaker 2:Does it upset you that I got aroused?
Speaker 3:No, I was quite taken aback. All right, I was like. I was like oh hey, still got it thank you, um, so you're doing comedy again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you stopped for a while, yeah, um, and it's hard.
Speaker 3:It's tough to schedule things now as as a parent well, time is more, uh, focused, which is a good thing. It's nice. Everything kind of has its its purpose. And I go out after the kids put to sleep and the wife is tired. So you know me, getting out like this is the and I'm burning and it both ends. Because I got to be at work early tomorrow, yeah, and I'm fucked because I had a monday table saw bro cause broke. The table saw broke still broke. It was working. No, I mean, is it? Oh yeah, no, it's not working now. Yeah, and I gotta rewire a bunch of shit anyway. Yeah, so like it's, just it's, but I don't know. I mean, I, everybody's life is hard one way or another. It's hard because you're doing a lot of things, and it's hard because you're not doing anything, and it's hard because you're on the couch and have a boner. I don't. Life is just hard in America. It's really not that bad right now.
Speaker 2:It might just these little little ants on this little rock.
Speaker 3:We are just scuttlebutton around. Yeah For the queen. Who is the queen? I don't think there is a queen right now in america it's money queen, money, all right, money queen. Um, so yeah, I, I and you've been doing it for a while, so I don't know, I mean I don't.
Speaker 2:I need to sleep more do you?
Speaker 3:yeah, how many hours you get a?
Speaker 2:night? Oh, none really. Yeah, I mean, luckily janet. Janet's been a fucking hero like these last couple weeks. You know, I'm here every day, yeah, um, and I, I won't be home until probably one o'clock, yeah, and then I'll be wired, I won't go to bed till three yeah, and then, um, she'll let me sleep usually, but there are certain days where she's got an appointment or she's got some shit to do, or she's got to go to work yeah and uh early and I gotta go take uh the baby to daycare at like you know 830.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And so it's a little quick turnaround. Yeah. And then I'll come home and I'll feel like shit. Yeah. And then I'll sleep, but then I'll wake up and then I didn't get anything done. Yeah, that needs to be done around the house she beats you. She should. Yeah, because I have been a piece of shit at the house lately. Nice, I need to do way more.
Speaker 3:It's good to state that publicly and then, do nothing.
Speaker 2:I hope she hears this so when you show. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Janet. So in the next episode, when you show up with a black eye, start the narrative. Now I deserved it, yeah Well no, I deserved it right now no one deserves to get physically. I think some people do yeah some people do yeah, but what.
Speaker 2:I'm getting at is I don't understand Back to the power of women that women put up with so much bullshit way more than we do. I mean, I guess they learn early when they start bleeding every month. Yeah, they have to deal with that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Could you imagine just having a shitty day and all of a sudden you're just bleeding?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do it out of my ass after.
Speaker 2:I eat bad food, shrimp particularly, but it's every month on the, you know, just like oh hey, yeah I'm here. You know that sucks. You got this ph thing going on. You got this little chemistry set going on down there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, got to keep it right well, get an erection at your grandmother's funeral and figure that out.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's not easy I mean it's hard, though, if you know what I mean I do, hey, now, yeah, I thought I you know what I'm just saying. She puts up with my shit and I appreciate it and I need to start paying it forward.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because her love language is acts of service ah, uh, it's, and your love language is no service.
Speaker 2:There's no service it's just not doing anything. Yeah, and physical touch yeah so where I'm like hey honey, why don't you touch me?
Speaker 3:yeah, she's like because you haven't done anything for me and look at you, and look at you, you piece of shit.
Speaker 2:And then I'm like what, what, what, what, what do you mean? You don't want to what? And then she's like god damn it, like can you just shut up sometimes I think she'll satisfy me yeah just to shut me up the most.
Speaker 3:This is the interesting wives, yeah, the most attractive thing, and this isn't to seem, uh, sexual, although some could construe it as such sure is when she's when she was when she breast yeah, and I mean that seriously.
Speaker 2:What when she?
Speaker 3:uh well, when she breastfeeds the child, it turns you on. It doesn't turn me on, but I'm just so attracted and beautiful, amazing, that's what I'm just like beautiful I'm like this woman is incredible we've talked about on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure we have. It blows my mind that when the child, the child, saliva on a nipple on an areola yeah, sends messages to the mother what nutrients that breast milk needs to make yeah I, I'm like that sounds like science fiction it's god's design brother, that's weird.
Speaker 2:Speaking of that, yeah, so I saw and I wish I had the, the, the article up, something I thought you'd find interested. The hubble telescope has found a planet with jesus, with jesus on it, yeah he's like hi, hi, I'm, I'm down here, here, here no, here no, but uh no, they found a planet that looks. They have pictures of it. It looks like fucking earth yeah and and uh, it has a certain uh um element on this planet.
Speaker 2:Somehow they figure that out. I don't know how they do that yeah, pretty genius propaganda. But uh, no, there's uh, but it's uh. What plants give off chlorophyll, something similar to that, but they think there's oxygen on the line, you know, on the planet and there's life that very well could be. You know nasa's like very well could be. Uh, life on this planet. Yeah, I can see that I'm telling you we're we're right at the cusp of knowing some shit. Yeah, I think. Do you think that changes theology?
Speaker 3:a bit For sure. In order to stay the same, you have to change. Catholics are fucked. I think most religions are fucked. In that case, I mean you'd have to adjust your scope and it becomes like the Earth thing. This is the whole thing with religion Does.
Speaker 2:God cheat on us. Do we feel like we've been cheated on a little bit?
Speaker 3:No, I don't. God has another kid.
Speaker 2:Who am I to?
Speaker 3:inhabit the mindset of the great and powerful God.
Speaker 2:It's like God had a kid that we didn't know about.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, it makes you certainly feel, uh, maybe less special. You know, it depends on what's going on on that planet. It could just be people butt fucking and doing heroin not that butt fucking is wrong, dan no canceled dude, you got canceled just now.
Speaker 2:Why I don't know? Because you said butt fucking and heroin, everybody can butt fuck. I know, but you're saying they're the only butt fuck I don't know the only butt.
Speaker 3:Fuck. Well they're. What kind of planet is that? A fun planet, they're down to hang out. They're down to party. I don't know. They're fucking kicking squirrels and doing heroin.
Speaker 2:They're just like us. They're like hey, hold on a second. They put their glass of wine down and they just take a squirrel and just kick it. You're like what the fuck?
Speaker 3:And they're like well, now we butt fuck. That'd be so cool.
Speaker 2:I think that's hilarious. Yeah, I'd be like man man, this is weird.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I think the whole, I think those religions apply to this planet.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 3:That's what I think, and so if there's another planet, they might have their own religion.
Speaker 2:It's just a spin-off.
Speaker 3:We got Jesus and Muhammad and they're.
Speaker 2:What do you think they got other guys there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but maybe they're just like. It's like Canada. It's like the same, but just slightly different. Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2:God's like hey, hey, let me explain. Let me explain. I got another girl pregnant yeah okay, her name is fairy chastity yeah and uh, she had a kid, carlos. Yes, well, carlos and jesus. Yes, carlos, and yeah, jesus, and uh, he also got crucified you can't name your kid the n-word, it's actually illegal.
Speaker 3:It's illegal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, found that out the hard way really yeah, wow, they're like, hey, you gotta change this.
Speaker 3:They were like you can't and I was like, all right, whatever land of the free home of the brave, I guess, um, yeah, yeah, I don't know, I yeah, I think, uh, god would totally, I don't know, yeah, I don't know. All right, it'd certainly make. Would it make you feel any different?
Speaker 2:um, I, I think, and if anything, I think it's not a sign like a sigh of relief, but yeah, it would be uh kind of like a wow. There's more to this, I think it would open my eyes.
Speaker 3:Do you think we make it to the election? Do you think the election happens? The election?
Speaker 2:yeah, you think, are you asking. Do you think the human civilization lasts until november?
Speaker 3:no, I know we make it to november, but I do. Do you think the election happens? Happens? Yeah okay, the election's gonna happen okay.
Speaker 2:Will there be an election in 2028? I don't know me, neither I don't know about that one. That's weird. But america we're so fucked up now that doesn't even really bother us that much yeah, there's no, there's no longevity no that's what I respect about the chinese.
Speaker 3:They've been around for yeah centuries long time. Remember that movie, american factory. Like they're two chinese people. They're talking in chinese. I'm gonna pretend like I, I will be them. But they're like how long do you think? How long do you think? Uh, how old do you think america is? The other one's like like 500 years and he's like 200 she goes and they like, laugh, they're like, and then they open a factory in america well, even in germany, like in europe, like seeing buildings and seeing structures yeah, america just feels like a weird shitty yard sale right now it's all just.
Speaker 3:It's like a family dollar chinese people buying the uh, the farmland and stuff like that. It's like the chinese and bill gates that's who owns all the farms really yeah all right and then there's people who like we shouldn't let chinese people buy our farmland. And then there's people in America who go racist, it's like, well, no, they're kind of a foreign adversary, we wouldn't let the Russians buy the Ruskies. We let that Russian guy buy the Nets. He was an oligarch.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:He was like I buy the Nets. I don't mind now I own the Nets and the cheerleaders.
Speaker 2:You watch the basketball that show about the Lakers.
Speaker 3:Oh, winning time yeah, I loved it. It sucked that there were only two seasons.
Speaker 2:Bill Russell, the guy that played Bill Russell. Bill Russell, what are you?
Speaker 3:talking about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? No, no, no.
Speaker 2:Magic Johnson no the guy, the coach, jerry west, jerry west oh, jerry, no, there's jerry west.
Speaker 3:And then pat riley, the guy that played jerry west yeah show. Yeah, spot on, he was perfect. Yeah, jerry west was a nutcase.
Speaker 2:Yeah he's rip, rip, yeah, and what sucks is? Everyone just keeps talking about how he was the logo of the NBA. I'm like you guys have no idea Like this guy, was he?
Speaker 3:was the NBA and white basketball. He was the guy the white.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you're a white supremacist, you shed a tear.
Speaker 3:He could touch the rim. He was quite talented when he did layups. He touched the backboard.
Speaker 2:He was a great white hope.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he was the great white hope yeah, he's like I could dribble with my left hand. Yeah, he's a big deal.
Speaker 2:He stopped playing basketball. Silver Wright started we let.
Speaker 3:Yeah, coincidence, it was the end yeah, coincidence yeah, but then we owe it to him. Who's the new logo? Weren't they talking about Kobe being the new logo, or something like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they've talked about that for a it should be Michael Jordan, it should be. Jordan period. He's the GOAT. He made the NBA what it is today. How many helicopter crashes has Jordan been in?
Speaker 3:Zero.
Speaker 2:Yeah, think about it. Yeah, how many women has he raped in Aspen?
Speaker 3:God damn that we know of.
Speaker 2:Zero. Well, champions don't get caught. Well, kobe did, and then he had to play for his freedom, like Chappelle said, and then everyone forgot about it once he was hitting 60, 70 points a game.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's fine. And then he's going to his daughter's basketball game. Yeah, he's fine. He's a good guy, good people on both sides.
Speaker 2:What's Ashley Larry's name.
Speaker 3:Donnell Rawlings. Yeah he had a great joke.
Speaker 2:It was two weeks after. Yeah, um, kobe died, and it was a very sensitive subject in the comedy circles, yeah, especially famous black comedians weren't they weren't making fun of kobe yeah and uh, I went and saw chapelle jewish ones were uh yeah they were oh god, that's horrible. Yeah, um no, I I saw him and he had a joke and he said I'm going to talk about Kobe for a minute and then the crowd went kind of weird.
Speaker 2:And he was like I'm just so glad that there weren't like a bunch of prostitutes on the helicopter.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like he was doing whatever, because, man, that would have changed the whole legacy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, know whatever, because man that would have changed the whole legacy of legacy. Yeah, he died, you know, in a sadly poetic way, with his daughter. Yeah, but yeah, it'd been a bunch of whores yeah, it would have been a completely different.
Speaker 2:Like man story kobe parties yeah, yeah wouldn't have been like a one year of grieving?
Speaker 3:yeah, and there's cocaine all over the helicopter, kobe never had to deal with COVID. He didn't. No, no, there's something I guess nice about that.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I thought that. I always thought that I'm like he died right before COVID started.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Coincidence, I don't know. Think about this Kobe dies, yeah, covid happens. Tom Hanks has COVID in Australia. How are those linked? I need to know because they happen on earth. That One of the questions I've had for the longest time. Where was Tom Hanks on September 11th 2001? Do you know? Thailand, I believe in 2001, do you know? Thailand, I believe just being tom hanks just hanging out. I'm just, I'm just saying I think it's interesting that we can't pinpoint where tom hanks was.
Speaker 3:He was working on a movie where he was an american expat no expat. Former military pilot who had this secret inside of him that he was a woman, but he didn't know how to reconcile because it's 2001 in America. But you know who's a bit more broad-minded about that stuff, a little more open-minded Osama bin Laden, the Thai people.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:The people of Bangkok.
Speaker 2:All right, and so he went there and he's researching, he's doing a deep dive with these lady boys yeah in order to get the part, get the role, get into the role, stuff like that very daniel day lewis of him now in this screenplay.
Speaker 3:Yep, it's on reddit, you can find it, yeah I forgot about this flies into a building in the after yes, after he's.
Speaker 2:He's become a ladyboy, yeah okay, and then he's like I'm gonna do it. I'm so tired dude, you look so tired I am. We've gone. We've gone 52 minutes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he flies into a building.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because he's a lady boy, I don't think he flew into it, he lived though, or did he do the thing like db sweeney is that his name db cooper. I thought his name wasB Sweeney. Is that his name? Db Cooper? Db Cooper I thought his name was DB Sweeney but it is DB Cooper. You're right, he did, the DB Cooper, he jumped out.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you why he was in Thailand, because he was researching this role for a movie that was never released, because the end of the movie is him realizing his dream of being a young thai lady boy and flying into a building in sri lanka by accident. They tested it with audiences october of 01.
Speaker 2:I remember that, and they I remember that I forgot about it never forget.
Speaker 3:And yeah, they were like we can't release this movie yeah, so he was in thailand in the in the vault. Yeah, he was in Thailand.
Speaker 2:You know how many movies are in the vault like that because of that, jerry.
Speaker 3:Lee Lewis did that movie where he's like I'm a clown in the Holocaust.
Speaker 2:I make children smile.
Speaker 3:And then they finished it and he watched it. He was like nobody can see this movie.
Speaker 2:And then what's his name made it. Life is beautiful, a beautiful movie Cried like a baby.
Speaker 3:My wife's favorite movie. Yeah, yeah, it's her favorite movie she's like I fucking love. I love this. I love the premise of it. I love the background story of this movie.
Speaker 2:It's her favorite movie Fucking not like this. She thinks it's the best movie made, or?
Speaker 3:it's her favorite. She's like I love this particular moment. She's watching it right now. She loves Italy and she loves. World.
Speaker 2:War.
Speaker 3:II.
Speaker 2:Two things that your wife loves.
Speaker 3:You know what I've realized about religion.
Speaker 2:What did you realize at the 54th minute of our podcast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think anybody's gonna make it to this point, but if they do, I think they'll be touched by this history history is written by how do you say the winners?
Speaker 2:yeah, and it's not treason if you, but there's enough but there's always an ideology, if you're writing history correct. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So there's ideology in something like Christianity, right Sure, and that makes it not history. It makes it not believable because of that right, but in other circumstances it works.
Speaker 2:So what you're telling me is history is written by the winners, except for religion. That's the real stuff.
Speaker 3:That's the truth, that's the true, that's the truth, brother it's so crazy because, like the holocaust, yeah, is this thing where there's a good amount of people who don't believe in it and then there's another crazy majority of people yeah, good people on both sides who go no, totally, and they create museums and they create our, and they make, they instill that this happened, their ideology not only this happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that can never happen again. Exactly, and their ideology is to preserve to memorialize this whole show the truth exactly just like christianity, so you're saying christianity, it was preserved, even though, yeah, like a king was like, hey, I want you guys to write it in 1599, around shakespeare's time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he was like, hey, monks, yeah, just write it yeah, all right, it's like alexander the great they wrote about him 500 years after the fact yeah, he rewrite these scrolls, these books.
Speaker 2:So those dusty old who got to decide and I know there's an answer to this, but I'm interested in that I don't know the theology part of who decided what books made it into the bible, because it's gone back and forth, for example, uh arnold berlstein son of a bitch, this sucks sucks sucks sucks. This is good that's a good one. I like this.
Speaker 3:Oh, this one, leviticus very good, very good, good writing, nice prose. Uh, the story of jermaine skip. Get out of here no, no, uh.
Speaker 2:The song of songs, uh, song of solomon, song of solomon that has been taken out in and out of the Bible over the last few hundred years because, it's been debated whether or not it has any religious context to it, because it's the only book in the Bible that doesn't mention God. Yeah, and it's about two lovers. Yeah, it's like Romeo and Juliet. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 3:You're reading all this stuff and all of a sudden it's the editor, mr brilstein, was probably like we need something steamy, I need some sex.
Speaker 2:They're like what are you talking about? We can't put, we can't put sex in the bible. He's like come on, come on, don't be a fagola, don't be a fucking pussy.
Speaker 3:Come on, put it in there put it in there.
Speaker 2:That's what he says. Her, her breast were of ivory towers, oh yeah. Is that?
Speaker 3:a quote from it. Oh yeah, dude, I gotta check out this.
Speaker 2:Song of Solomon Dude. I used to steal excerpts from it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and send it to my girlfriend. Oh, I thought you were gonna it beat off to it. Yeah, you're like oh my God, no, no, I used to like yeah, you have breasts of ivory, of ivory towers yeah, your neck is like a gazelle, the horns of a mountain goat. This is good I don't know what the song is. It's not bad though, hey, so let's wrap this shit up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's. Hey, if you're in charleston and you're not, if you haven't come to wit's end, fuck you yeah, come to wit's end.
Speaker 3:It's a good time and it's nice to it'd be nice to support a place that's trying its best to make everybody happier.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to pay the bills here. And I can't pay the bills if you don't come and buy alcohol or food from me. The Department of Revenue in South Carolina requires me to say that we're a restaurant, but I am a bar and I need you to buy booze for me.
Speaker 3:That serves food with the booze. Yes, to saturate your stomach, so you don't get too drunk and you can make it home safely.
Speaker 2:I'm a poison peddler.
Speaker 3:No brother.
Speaker 2:I pedal poison.
Speaker 3:You're peddling spirits, that's all it is. Good spirits yes, it's this kind of spirit. Not this spirit, this spirit, the spirit and the heart and the soul. God spirit and the heart and the soul.
Speaker 2:God damn it, dude. I'm so glad we're back on the podcast yeah, no, this is it's gonna be.
Speaker 3:And you know what the key is. What's the key? Consistency. Repetition is the father of success.
Speaker 2:Dude that was when we were in our prime on this podcast. I didn't listen to other people start podcasts we've never hit our stride. We haven't, no, we've never had a few times, there were moments there were little tiny windows my favorite moment besides jimmy's light pole.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the classic was laughing at your wife being afraid to sleep with you because of your ptsd. That to me. Go back and listen to that. When? What episode was that? Uh, it was 46 simpler times simpler times yeah, and this is a cool thing. I don't know if this means anything. My wife and I were talking about this. When you die, you can't hear the people's voices anymore. Yeah, you, just like I can imagine my nana's voice, but I don't. I don't.
Speaker 2:You don't have a document of it you know, yeah, it's just a memory, it's just like I can feel what it sounded like. But I'll never hear it so this is kind of cool. Yeah, this will be out there forever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, yeah. Until as long as I keep paying the man Until the solar flare takes us all out.
Speaker 2:But you have a point, and one of my fears of dying is that I don't leave anything behind. Yeah, and what I've learned, it's my children and I live forever because of my kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Unless they don't have seed In a genetic sense. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not really. If you think about it, I'm literally a part of them. Yeah, and I'm living. I'm continuing to live, that's why I said genetics yeah. But you sound like well scientifically speaking.
Speaker 3:That's what I. Yeah, no, I mean, but yeah, science is the romance, the joie de vivre, the hooty-hoo.
Speaker 2:But what I'm getting at is, I'm one of those people that I want to leave something behind. Yeah, and if you think of this podcast, we've been doing it four years. Yeah, I think. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Somewhere around there On and off, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've had podcasts with my ex-girlfriends. I've had podcasts where I talked about losing my job-girlfriends. I've had podcasts where I I talked about losing my job?
Speaker 3:yeah, that was pathetic, you, you, your ex-girlfriend remember, uh yeah, phone calls from her while we were on the podcast. God, what a different time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I've gotten married and had a child on this, on this show, and it's only going up yeah, as a matter of fact, for the historians of this podcast, go back and listen to the old Sean Patton episode. Yeah, the threesome, something in a threesome, whatever. I can't remember. It wasn't Sean Patton episode. It was us talking about Sean Patton, but your wife is on that podcast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Hey, motherfuckers, yeah.
Speaker 3:Motherf. Hey, motherfuckers, hey motherfuckers, hey, hey Motherfuckers, she's got a nice voice. When she sings, she has a great voice. She sings at the house with a butter knife on her neck. Dance, sing for me.
Speaker 2:Sing for me, Sally Sing the songs. Sing me a song. Yeah, it's going to be back.
Speaker 3:I'm not quitting.
Speaker 2:Dan did not quit the podcast. He's back to the point. Now I have to change the graphic yeah, it's not yeah, hey, oh, I got an album coming out, but we'll talk about that in another episode next week yeah, because it releases on the 27th.
Speaker 3:It does actually. Actually, we might have to bank because I'm heading out of town next week.
Speaker 2:Where are you going?
Speaker 3:Asheville Okay. Yeah. All right, see the. Is she still alive? Who, grandma?
Speaker 2:No dead.
Speaker 3:Okay, dead as shit. Yeah, no, she, great woman RIP. Great woman RIP. No the baby's you know, like Katie's sister.
Speaker 1:Extended family, and then the niece and nephews and the grandparents.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so that'll be In Nashville. Yeah, good for you. You want to get on a show while you're up there? No, oh yeah, you get your ass beat for that.
Speaker 3:No, I think actually I'd like it, but I don't want them to ever see my comedy you just sneak out and go do a show yeah, I could do that. This is also a name of a gay club sneaking. Sneak out and see a show. Sneak out and see a show. Sneak out and see a show. This has been good. Yeah, it's been fine. Hit a button, we'll hit our. Uh, we'll hit our um, we'll hit our stride. There we go, let's try it.
Speaker 2:Stride along the river.
