Lowcountry Lowlifes
Maybe the greatest mediocre podcast you've never heard. Listen to comedian Josh Bates and Dan Sweeney talk about something and nothing all at once. Insightful? Maybe. Entertaining? Kinda. A waste of your time? Absolutely. Oh....and Dan quit the show
Lowcountry Lowlifes
The Boys Are Back In Town
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Josh and Dan are back.
we did it. We're here, we're back. We are here. We're here, we're back. This is j here. We're here, we're back. This is Josh Bates, dan.
Speaker 3Sweeney.
Speaker 2Welcome back to Low Country, Low Lies. We've been gone for a little bit.
Speaker 3Little hiatus. A little, it's been a year.
Speaker 2Has it been a year?
Speaker 3I think it's been a good amount of time.
Speaker 2It's been quite a length of time to the point where, in this small amount of time, a lot's happened a lot's happened a lot has happened and this is the recap episode. Yeah, this isn't gonna we're gonna mix shit up yeah it's new dan sweeney, new josh bates, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, in some ways life has changed dramatically for the both of you never step into the same river twice, and boy are we rivers rivers and roads, and mountains and valleys.
Speaker 2Yeah, mountains change, but rivers the big news that you've had, the big life change you've had. Mr dan has been. You are with child now I am with child.
Speaker 3Thank you very much.
Speaker 2I haven't talked to you since we last podcasted.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, we haven't spoken since I came out tonight to see the new club.
Speaker 2Yeah, I own a comedy club, you own a comedy club.
Speaker 3It's weird to say, it's weird to be Well, well, I you know what.
Speaker 2no let's do to you. Let's not in here let's not lie.
Speaker 3Okay, we've been in communication. I remember when this place was just studs and dreams, studs and dreams, studs, and great name for a gay bar, yeah, uh, but now it's yeah, I mean, it's a whole place, it's got a great stage, it's got a nice vibe, it's got an upstairs, it's got a downstairs also good name for a gay club upstairs and downstairs yeah, that is good.
Speaker 2Yeah, um, let's talk. Fuck the comedy club, let's talk about this kid.
Speaker 3Yeah, I have a sweet baby girl, dude how old is she now?
Speaker 2she is, uh, she's gonna be four months in july so what I have noticed about you yeah, is you one. I think you're gonna be a good dad thank you uh, I mean, I'm trying, you're, but what I?
Speaker 3haven't left?
Speaker 2what I've noticed? You haven't left, you haven't gone to go get milk yet, no, but what I have noticed is you're very protective of not only the baby but your wife. Like you very, you ask a lot of the right questions but like you're very concerned all the time. And what's interesting about first time fatherhood is the constant fear.
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean I live in a perpetual state of terror and then also just like pure joy, punctuated by crippling, fucking fear and terror. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's, it's a, it's a, it's a whirlwind, and with the wife especially. Um, the amount of work they call it labor in child. It's insane. Yeah.
Speaker 3It is and I yeah, I mean you're there and you watch the whole. I did nothing. It is and I yeah, I mean you're there and you watch the whole. I did nothing. All I had to do was stay awake and drink coffee and chew on nicotine. I didn't have to do that much.
Speaker 2You're no longer on darts.
Speaker 3You've been off darts for a while, Dude when we found out that the baby was coming, you gave the baby a cigarette. We said, hey, no, we both smoked our last uh cigarette. So like she threw the pregnancy test in my head yeah well, that's how I woke up. Little piss stick in the face damn look what you fucking did. Uh, it would.
Speaker 3She did say look what you did, yeah, and I was like sweet okay, um, and then we went and smoked our last cigarette, and that was August of 23. And so, yeah, I've been dart free since 23.
Speaker 2You're clean as a whistle.
Speaker 3I still do the Zin, the nicotine, but otherwise, yeah, I'm a clean man.
Speaker 2I think Jesus would Zin.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, I think Jesus ripped darts. You see that fella. I mean he had the long hair, the beard, everything like that. But yeah, I mean the labor was 28 hours.
Speaker 2That's yeah, it was insane yeah.
Speaker 3And she wanted to do the you know because we had. You know, we talked about it. Yeah, we went over to your house. We had wings, the ladies talked, they squawked with one another those wings were okay, they were all right. I felt a little sick. I was actually. It was funny because during, while she was pregnant, I was very uh, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a worst case, I'm a murphy's law kind of guy, yeah, and so you cooked them.
Speaker 3You cooked them, well, yeah, and I, and, and then, but I, while you, while we were eating them, I was like I feel a little weird I was like, if these aren't cooked enough, she's gonna die and that baby's gonna die did you really have that thought yeah, just chicken.
Speaker 2Like you were worried, I was gonna give you salmonella.
Speaker 3Well, no, like they were under. No, uh, look you did no, it's fine. You did a couple tours.
Speaker 2You have some bad you have some ptsd in my head. Yeah, who knows what he did to these wings yeah, I don't know, you know you could have put a little Agent Orange, yeah a little Fallujah spice.
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean, it could have. No, they were great wings.
Speaker 2They were fine.
Speaker 3But yeah, I just became hyper aware of her and I really wanted to protect her. Like I got real weird around kitchen knives, like when I was cooking dinner and stuff, and if she was walking in the kitchen yeah I would, I'd move, yeah I'd turn away. Don't look at that because she, when so you stopped chucking knives at your wife, I stopped throwing them at her.
Speaker 3I was like we can't do this anymore no longer throw knives and she's like this is the only thing that gets me going, and then she put the apple on her head.
Speaker 2She's like do it, do it, bitch pussy.
Speaker 3You're fucking puss and I did it and I still got it. Um, but when she she said when a pregnant woman's like a really beautiful, it's hot brother sexy I get it, I get it it was a whole new. Yeah, I, I think pregnant women are the hottest.
Speaker 2It because it's it's a hot it they, they be their whole body becomes pheromones too.
Speaker 3There's a lot of pheromones, oh and I was picking them up yeah because I now, I have a sense of smell now because the darts I'm no longer, I don't have the dead and dart nose. You know, I got, I got, oh yeah, I was catching all that that. Uh, it's not musk, I guess it's pheromones. It's musk, it's, yeah, that feminine musk that sweaty, you know, sitting in sweatpants all day plug dude oh yeah, the birthing smells are interesting, but here's the thing.
Speaker 2I don't remember a smell here's the thing I realized.
Speaker 3I realized about myself is I'm not disgusted by things.
Speaker 2Yeah. You know, after you see that and you see a lot of baby shit. Yeah, no, it's just you don't like black baby shit for a couple of weeks, not, not black baby, yeah, no it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's it, it's literally whatever they were ingesting in the belly Baby black shit.
Speaker 3Yeah, not black baby shit. Let's call him Marconi, which, incidentally, would be a great name for, anyway, gay bar. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I watched the baby come out of the. I called you. This is the best advice I've ever gotten, by the way, in my life was I called you and I'm I? You know, I was a nervous mess. I stopped going to Mike's. I was renovating a house. I was you moved. Yeah, I was very, it was very stressed. Yeah, we got married, I knocked her up, we moved into a house and then I tore the house apart and then was on a deadline and to get it all done before this thing came flying out of her. Yeah, um, but I called you and I was like I I didn't know what to do. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Speaker 3Yeah at all yeah, prior to that, when you don't know what you're doing, it's fine. Sure, because it's you, it doesn't matter, it really is of no consequence. But then, when there's another thing, the stakes are very high. So I was calling you, I was freaking out yeah I was like what do I do? What do I?
Speaker 3and you said just get the nurses donuts and they will take care of you yeah and I did that because in the beginning we got this big old cunt of a nurse who was not nice to my wife. Yeah, to the point where I was, I was getting a little agitated, a little heated, sure, I was like don't talk to my wife this is her first birth. Yeah, I get, you're a bit jaded because you see this all the time might be the end of her shift.
Speaker 3Yeah, might have pulled a double and you don't seem like a nice person. Anyway, it's not the kind of person I'd like to hang out with in a meadow and have a discussion with yeah, you know, yeah, she sucks.
Speaker 2She's not gonna be on our podcast when I got the donuts things changed she was nicer.
Speaker 3They changed a lot. Nicer. Yeah, no, that she literally changed.
Speaker 2I learned that not only with the babe, with my kids, but uh with uh, just working in a hospital, like if you go around and just give like nurses, like a lollipop, yeah gaggles of women love sweet things.
Food Cravings and Pregnancy Restrictions
Speaker 3Yeah, I'm, I'm, it's, it's interesting because I'm. You should never generalize, no, ever except unless you're trying to make sense of the world in a big picture sense and if you give donuts to a bunch of women who deliver babies, they get happy, they get really happy. They're like get really happy they were all very nice, but then the shift changed. I had to go out. I got more donuts. I kept having to go back and get donuts because new gaggles. It was 28 hours.
Speaker 2Did your wife have a first meal after the baby was? Did she crave something and you go out and get it?
Speaker 3What was interesting this is kind of the pack of cigarettes moment. Interesting, this is a this is a kind of the pack of cigarettes moment was in the beginning she had to get induced. So the ob came in, was like hey, if you want any food, like now's the time to do it, because we're about to inject you with a bunch of that's chemicals and bullshit, yeah. And so I went to chick-fil-a and I'm driving to chick-fil-a and I was like I could just keep driving down this road and never turn back, never turn back no, and I have a whole a completely different.
Speaker 3Take a gas I could have, I could have gone yeah but I went to chick fil a, got her chick fil a. She ate the chick fil a. They gave her the pitocin, which is just like oxytocin. I don't know how they get it. I think like they just get like a two animals bonding and then kill them and pull the chemicals out. I don't know, but that just made her puke and everything and afterwards she had no deli meats. She's very strict about.
Speaker 3They were like you can't eat deli meats because it gives you listeria yep and uh, I went and got her alvin ords, shout out to alvin ords and we had uh the salvation and a little uh, it's like. It's like every deli meat, it's like ham, salami, pepperoni, turkey sounds good.
Speaker 2Where's this at?
Speaker 3this is they got them. They got them in uh, they got them in west ashley. They got them in james island. Same asian guy runs both of them real nice guy.
Speaker 2Yeah, like if I drive to one and go to the other.
Speaker 3He used to always be at the west ashley one and I used to go to that one and he knows my name. Yeah, he goes, hey dan, and I go hey man, which maybe is his name, uh, and, and then, and then they opened up a new location when james island, like right near us, and same guy he goes, hey dan, and I go, hey man janice was sushi nice, immediately wanted yeah I don't trust sushi after uh fukushima, after they just dumped that water into the ocean.
Speaker 2None of that's from yeah.
Speaker 3I'm not getting straight Japanese sushi.
Speaker 2You're not getting Japanese sushi bro.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's not coming over in a container.
Speaker 2No, it's coming from some. Some sushi chef's in the yeah no, I just don't trust fish.
Speaker 3I had some shrimp tonight and I got the bubble guts and everything like that, but we kept the gender a surprise.
Speaker 2We kept the baby.
Speaker 3We kept the baby.
Speaker 2We did, yeah the gender was a surprise.
Speaker 3right until it came out, didn't want to know.
Speaker 2Did the doctor say it or did you see it?
Speaker 3They said you shout, you say what it is, just to make sure. No, this is very you shout, you say what it is, and so the baby, just to make sure.
Speaker 2No, it's pretty clear.
Speaker 3This is very interesting, and I don't want to be crass. Be crass, it's fine, it's not crass. This is the thing. I live in a weird world now, where my mom will go. So how's Katie's vagina? Because, she's genuinely interested in how she's healing after the trauma of childbirth yeah so it's like taking on it.
Speaker 3So when I looked at my daughter's little baby vagina yeah, baby vaginas are very swollen- yeah so it just looked like two giant nuts, yeah, or like, yeah, two walnuts that were maybe hiding a secret, I don't know and tight-lipped walnut.
Speaker 2Yeah, just walnuts, like I'll never tell.
Speaker 3But I was like, you know, I was crying, I was like it's a girl and uh, yeah, I've, yeah, it's the best day of my life. 100, 100, that's great sure and then katie left you.
Speaker 2We didn't talk about that part.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, she she had an affair. She um if she did With the physical therapist who was helping her heal. Oh she helped her. Gustav, you're a nice pussy. We fix it. It's very, very nice. He's a very good pussy, but it is a good penis. It's a strong penis, not a weak Irish penis. I don't know where Gustav's from.
Speaker 2He's from Bulgaria.
Speaker 3No, you keep a foreskin Bulgaria dude.
Speaker 2I got beef with Bulgaria. What about him? Dated this girl real serious for a long time. We broke up and she started dating a bouncer and he's from Bulgaria. I don't know anyone from Bulgaria. I know two things about Bulgariagaria that he exists yeah sofia is the capital, that's it okay, I know.
Speaker 3So what do you? What caused this uh young temptress to leave your stable? Um, uh, I don't remember really I mean I'm looking at you, I could come up with some military, okay. So this is young josh. Yeah, this is young, desperate josh young buck. Yeah, she was a lawyer, she was oh yeah, so she was law school way out of your league.
Speaker 2Well she no, then she ended up marrying a fucking bouncer I don't know, maybe he writes poetry and beats people up. I mean, that's an interesting guy right there met doing theater, so we were like real artsy.
Speaker 3And then yeah, and then you're like I'm gonna go kill people but anyway.
Speaker 2So that's great dude.
Speaker 3Your daughter is beautiful, thank you, yeah, no, I like, I like looking at her and she's starting to smile now, like she's starting to kind of like wake. It's a slow dial-up speed of human consciousness like. That's how, how long it takes for humans to because the first two weeks were pure joy and then just fucking hell oh yeah because, she thought night was day and day was night.
Speaker 3Yeah, and she was, uh, she's jaundiced, so she looked like she had the skin of like a 60 year old alcoholic with a failing, just yellow. Yeah, I mean to get like a blanket and put her out in the sun because, just all you know, it's like all these crazy things you don't know about and you just have to learn with the stakes of it being the thing you love the most in the in your entire life and it's weird too, because, like at that, at this age, dan, you're gonna learn that like there's so many books about everything and so much knowledge about stuff, yeah, and then they get older and then you're just on your own, yeah.
Speaker 2At a certain point then it's like hey, how do you deal with when your kid likes the other kids neighbors but your neighbor, the parents, are assholes yeah, how do you deal with that? How do you navigate that? Like there's no book there are there are technically books, but it's not black and white like it is with having a young child in your home no, yeah.
Speaker 3I mean, at a certain point you're kind of left to the training that your parents did to you, isn't that?
Speaker 2beautiful too that that, that training, that's kind of handed down yeah, it's like a secret, like it's a you're part of the club now in the family well yeah, I mean it's a beautiful thing it's a big thing about humanity.
Speaker 3It's like this oral tradition where they tell you this is how you should be and you kind of like, you're like yeah, like when your mom's asking about your wife or your daughter's vagina yeah, how is it?
Speaker 2is it nice or what's the? What's the consistency? Is it filming?
Speaker 3yeah, I mean changing a. A young like this is the most I've dealt with vagina cleaning, a vagina ever oh, it's the most you've dealt with the vagina.
Speaker 2Let's be honest. Yeah, we're in and out.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah no, I'm not and I'm not like yeah you know what I mean. I have to take care I literally am in and out and then I leave the care and the maintenance.
Speaker 2Yeah, because she's not going to do anything, she'll just shit all day and be like whatever somehow that shit goes right up the front oh, it's pure physics, I mean, it's just, you know, it's a nightmare.
Speaker 3It is a nightmare and the thing that I wanted to do was a buddy of mine told me this. He was like change as many diapers as you can. And I think you might have told me this. Or I got another ginger buddy he's got a kid and he was like change as many diapers, change all the diapers, like the first three weeks, and the rest will kind of fall into place. So I've just tried to change as many diapers as possible muscle memory well, yeah, and I'm, and you get comfortable.
Speaker 3I was very uncomfortable holding her because she's very fragile. Yeah, the only thing I've held is how your life is. In your hands are cats, and when you're dumb in the cat, you just fucking throw it and it just lands on its feet, yeah, and you're just like all right, bye, but with her, I mean, you put her down gently. She's like is her?
Speaker 2head okay yeah, I mean it's all. Yeah. What I learned too, is like, at the end of the day, whenever, if the baby's having a really bad day, all you have to do is shake it.
Speaker 3Yes, and that was the interesting thing, like when you're leaving the hospital don't shake your baby and you're like I get it.
Speaker 3Yeah, they're like no, I don't think you get it because, shake your baby they're like, yeah, and you watch a video and they're like, don't shake your baby. And we're looking at one of them, like, okay, yeah. And then, like at three in the morning, when you've got no sleep and it's just crying in your face, you go oh yeah, that's why they have that video yeah, somebody's like because the the instinct in that moment is to stop the baby from crying and you don't know why it's crying.
Speaker 3It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, if you take a step back, it makes total sense. Yeah, because the baby was in a belly and now it's out in the world, sure, where joe biden's president and donald trump's still running for president, and it's upset and it just doesn't know how to deal with Israel and Palestine and Ukraine and Russia it doesn't know what to do, so it just cries and you want to go get her together but you can't like there's I totally.
Speaker 3It was so funny how you think this doesn't apply to me and then you go.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, because there's this thing where you're like frustrated, but the love for the thing trumps yeah I mean, and now, like my bait, like tonight I was putting her down and she's being real fussy and I just, you, just I gotta rock the baby. You just rock the baby, you walk around. She likes being walked around. So I do little laps in and out of the nursery and I count like rain man. I like one, two, three, until I get to my three favorite numbers and generally when I hit one of those three numbers, she'll she will have fallen asleep and then I can put her down gently it's the best it's the best good, another good one yeah sounds like the ocean.
Speaker 3Yeah, like just literally shush her, but you can even do it loud yeah not like a japanese whaling ship, but like the soothing ebb and flow of the ocean.
Speaker 2Yeah, um when, uh, my ex-wife and I, when we had our, our son, my first child, uh, we were very young and we went to like a parenting class and it was like the, the, the birthing class and parenting one-on-one and it was so fun.
Speaker 2All the parents, different parents groups, were there and we're all getting to know people. And everyone was like in their third trimester and they're cracking jokes, there's food, we're having a great time, and they're like oh hey, the end, we forgot this thing. We're going to show you guys this quick video, you guys check it out and then, if you guys have any questions, we'll be back. And it popped in the video they left and it was about shaking the baby and it was like the biggest bummer ever in today. We're about to have this kid and they're like don't shake your baby. And we're like, oh, okay, duh.
Speaker 2And then they're like I shook my baby, and they're like showing these, yeah, true stories. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm like motherfucker, yeah fuck them.
Speaker 3I don't need to see that.
Speaker 2No, my pregnant wife doesn't need to see this. No, and like I mean, I get that they're trying to really send it home and but it was just funny how that's the world it was yeah, and then they were like, by the way, you got to watch this well, and that's the thing, is like they're covering their ass.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, because at some point you back in a couple of days no, at some point somebody's came back and was like I shook my baby. And they're like well, you shouldn't have done that. And they're like well, I didn't know that, I'm gonna fucking sue you and the hospital's like well, they're really just trying to make sure that's what.
Speaker 3That's the biggest thing I got from hospitals. I was like, oh, they're just trying to cover their ass this entire time. They told us we couldn't film, which I thought was strange. I was like what? Yeah, they're like you can't film any of the birth or anything like that. You can't film those moments. And I was like really, yeah, my wife and I were like that's fucking weird. And then, prior to like days before, because she started getting high blood pressure and things like that doctor was like uh, we're gonna have to induce you and my wife's like I give so much credit to my wife because she's like no, yeah, which is first time mom pregnant, first time guy doctor's like we're gonna to induce you, otherwise, you know, you might die.
Speaker 2And most women would be like, okay, and my wife's like no, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 3And the doctor was like I strongly recommend. And Katie was like, no, yeah, I heard you, I'm not, we're not doing this. And the guy was like, okay, she went home and she was fine, yeah. And then we had to go back the next day and the doctor saw us and this doctor there's cool doctors and then there's dickheads because doctors are just people, they're flawed and they just do weird things. And that doctor was like, yeah, you're fine. So it's just very strange how the medical industry and you got to do this. You got to do that.
Speaker 2And it's just all.
Speaker 3It's a numbers game to make up your own mind.
Speaker 2People, it's a business it's a business but at the same time, like you said, people are people, they're doctors, they all have different philosophies, different backgrounds, yeah, and have different opinions on how to do it yeah, well, and they want to.
Speaker 3That's the whole interest of the thing. Is I? The only time I've gone to the hospital is when I I've split my chin open, I've like when I've gotten seriously injured, and then that's most of a hospital, and then there's this whole other thing where it's like and childbirth you know it's weird is you know?
Speaker 2alan watts, philosopher, talks about hospitals and how we have babies at hospitals yeah and we die a lot of times at hospitals. Yeah. Why do we take a person that's dying to? A hospital. I don't know Like I'm talking like end of life, not like they got in a car wreck, but I mean like they're 95 and that is interesting hospital because we feel that's where we take them because they're sick or they're not well, but it's just part of life.
Speaker 3Well, it's, yeah, I mean it's that thing where, like, we're a benevolent species and I think maybe some of its self-preservation, where we don't want the death of somebody. If we can, if we can kind of put it away, we can kind of I did all I could. I mean, I brought them to the hospital. It's like they were 98 and blind and they had 90 brain tumors and then they're like, but I took him to the hospital it's like you could have just let them die in that chair.
Speaker 3They're like I had to save them. It's a good chair? I don't know.
Speaker 3Yeah, I think there is something very interesting about that yeah it is interesting how in like places like canada and stuff like that, they're just like you do you. You can euthanize your. You know that's there's this whole movement. People are killing themselves. Yeah, you themselves. I can't deal with the world and people aren't stigmatizing it as much, but it can kind of have this. There was a veteran in Canada and she was disabled. She's like I need a ramp for my house. I'm having trouble getting in and out of my house. And the government came back and was like have you thought about killing yourself? God damn. She's like have you thought about killing?
Speaker 2yourself, god damn.
Speaker 3She's like no, I'm just looking for a ramp, yeah, I just need a ramp and they're like but that's a lot of timber, I mean you know you could have, you thought about dying. It's so interesting. And now, yeah, taking her to the doctor. I'm just very protective. Yeah. And it's scary because you got to take some things on faith and faith is a very you just kind of have to like let go a little bit and control what you can control.
Speaker 2We done good Dan.
Speaker 3Thanks yeah.
Speaker 2And now you just have a lifetime the rest of your living life You'll be a father.
Speaker 3Yes, yes, I will. If I do everything right, yeah, and nothing terrible happens, yeah blessing and that gift, yeah but thank you. Yeah, it was, it was. It was great leaning on you. Oh, I appreciate that, buddy, after quitting the show and spreading all those vicious rumors about you. Yeah, you still helped me, I'm still there, you said buddy, I'm here just get donuts.
Speaker 2Just get donuts and shake your baby it's. It's all you got to do, bud my seed, all right. Yeah, I've never had a cum shot with so many consequences I thought it was really cool that you let me have sex with your wife yes um during childbirth yeah, I was like I was like you know what we'll?
Speaker 3do this up, it'll be safe. Yeah, induction, you're like, I'm mr induction, that's what they call me. It's weird how you're wearing a cape and calling yourself induction man. Yeah, induction man, yeah, and I said all right well, you're like are you sure? And I'm like, oh yeah yeah, well, they'd given the epidural, she was asleep.
Speaker 3No big deal yeah, it's fine you do what you can for your wife and your children. Yeah, women are superheroes. I think they're totally the best people to be mothers. Totally, women are like totally, totally made for that bar none. They're superheroes. Yeah, they're great.
Speaker 2They don't need to be in the workforce yeah, or have any opinions outside of the household? No, they can have opinions, uh, as long as they keep them to themselves, as long as they're in the four walls everything's fine. Well, good, dan, I'm glad it was. It was a good time away for the podcast for you. Yeah, I mean it was a good time, sure, yeah, how are you?
Speaker 3I've been busy, I know that.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's good to see uh we're hearing the fruits of the labor you have a good reason to live besides your children.
Speaker 2No, we'll talk about that it's true, you know, I, um, you know. So, for those that listen that aren't, you know, know, around town, the the Sparrow, where you and I used to do comedy all the time, uh is no more. Uh, it went away. And uh, me and a guy, uh, my now business partner, uh, we were like let's do this, I think we can do this, we can replicate this, make it more comedy centric and do it. And so we, we looked around town for many moons. I, I think I took you to each site we had several moons.
Speaker 2I went to every site and yeah yeah, I'd get excited about a building and it just wouldn't work no it was too expensive or the logistics of it didn't make sense.
Speaker 2Yeah, and then we got to this spot and you know I'll never forget, the landlord was like hey, I want to show you this place, but before I do I'll show you this other place. I'm like, okay, he's like I don't think it's going to work for you because it's it's four offices. Yeah, I'm like well, then, why are you showing it to me? So we went and looked at these four offices, yeah, and I was like this yeah, because they're all together, there's two on the bottom, two on the top and I was like one could be the bar, one can be a theater. Upstairs, we'll have a little VIP room, we'll have a green room.
Speaker 3A vision came to you, an apparition. It did, yeah, it did.
Speaker 2And. I was like this, I think this is gonna work and you know, the good thing about my partner is he believes in me. Yeah, trust me, yes. So he's like I go, we'll. We'll go with your vision.
Speaker 2You do what you do against the better judgment of society yeah he he believes yeah, um and so, yeah, we, we started construction back in. Uh, started in november of 2023. Yeah, is when construction started. And and uh, we opened on june 1. Uh, wits end june 1, june 1, all right, yeah, first I mean june 1 okay, civilians say that dude june 1, dude civilians. Yeah, military is june 1, on june 1st okay, fair enough yeah yeah, I mean my apologies but I wouldn't say june 2.
Speaker 2I wouldn't say june 2, it's june 1, june 1, yeah, june 2 anyway. Um. So yeah, I opened a comedy club. We've been running shows. We had a sellout this last weekend. We're upstairs in the studio right now doing this. That's nice. Yeah, the air is blowing and we're just wasting money. That's what it's all.
Speaker 3You know, Josh, it's Econ 101. You got to spend money to make money. Well, I'd like to make money. That's what it's all. You know, Josh, it's econ 101. You got to spend money to make money.
Speaker 2Well, I'd like to make money.
Speaker 3You know who said that, adolf Zucker. He was the CEO of the famous players Lasky, which was one of the first movie studios at the turn of the century.
Speaker 2Also. And then they made I don't know if you know this in the concessions they would say hey, these are real zingers and they were zinger little Debbie cakes, really, and they're the inventors of the zinger Debbie cake. No, I did not know that, because I made it up Nice.
Speaker 3Well, you said it with conviction and I believed it. Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 2But no comedy. It's interesting, it's scary as fuck. Yes, it is the one of the most frightening things I've ever done in my life because, uh, not only is it a business and you want to succeed. You've been to war, yeah, but no, like you want to succeed. But the thing being a comedian yeah is you want to. There's like two things you're trying to please at the same time, and if you fail, then you failed as a comic too, somehow yeah, it's double failure.
Speaker 2It's double failure, yeah and you know we put a large amount of money. My wife and I uh put a good sum of money into this oh yeah and uh. Luckily, my wife is amazing and supportive of all of this, which blows my mind women, women, women, um, but it's also gave me purpose during the day yeah you know uh when you needed that yeah, I haven't had a full-time job, I haven't worked really in like three years, yeah, so ever since the incident ever since the incident, where I'm no longer yeah, technically we don't need to talk about it.
Speaker 3There's lawyers and shit.
Speaker 2Yeah, the incident um, no, but it's given me reason to, to you know, be more active uh, yeah and then it's helped. My wife probably wishes it would be more around the house, but I'm tired.
Speaker 3You're a man you're a man out in the world striking out in business you know it's neat that like there's people downstairs right now yeah that are employed by you yeah, that you are helping america recover from 9-11 and covid yeah, I mean, I'm the heartbeat of america, right now small business. You're fostering the arts. I heard of a food on tables.
Speaker 3I heard of a young old lady. She came in here dying. She had AIDS cancer. She laughed, cured, cured. She's fine Now. Is that warrant you going home kicking your feet up and not doing dishes? I'd say so.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, you know know what's weird is that same lady she came in. I don't know if you saw her. She came in yesterday. She looked great. Well, yeah, she's training to be in the the olympics. She is. You know what she's doing yeah uh, no, I don't. I don't either. I was hoping you did no.
Speaker 3Uh, what I will say is, while she was cured of those terrible diseases, her perception of time is still off, because Olympic trials has, I believe, come and gone. So she will have to train for 2028, but she's still. By the way, are you a little nervous about these Paris Olympics? I would not want to be in Paris.
Speaker 2Paris is pretty a lot of resistance.
Speaker 3Yeah, soccer fucked.
Speaker 2Yeah, they got a weird government.
Speaker 3Just seems like, it just seems squirrely over there it's been and they were supposed to. They were supposed to kind of like all line up along the river and, uh, piss on croissants, or something like that they changed the retirement age by two years and they flipped the fuck out yeah, they were like which I respect.
Speaker 2they were like, which I respect. They were throwing their fucking. I respect that Croutons, not even their croissants. Yeah, their croutons Macron Is crouton, a French word, I bet it is, it sounds French. Crouton, no crouton.
Speaker 3They took her back to my place, took a crouton, shoved it up a beaver.
Speaker 2Ate a salad. Beaver is actually the French word for pussy. You know what?
Speaker 3the strongest animal in the world is what? The beaver?
Speaker 2Hey now, hey now, hey now hey now?
Speaker 3Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, so she's doing better. And I like Josh with purpose. I like Driven Josh. Driven Josh is a fun guy to be around. Yeah, Josh, at home, don't, I don't want to the casting couch too, I don't want to see. Come on your dumb fat cock. I don't need to see that. It's so dumb I don't want to look at it. All right, it's dumb. All right, it upsets me.
Speaker 2I put my balls on you once. You did Accidentally yeah, I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, I should have known that was going to happen based off of what I was doing, but you were sitting in a bar stool and, jokingly, I put my leg over your leg. Yeah, and I felt heavy flesh orbs, yeah, these orbs, yeah, just dropped right on your leg. And I even looked at you and I said I think my balls just touched your leg and you're like yeah, I think they did what are you a detective?
Speaker 3You're like, I think, by putting my balls on your leg.
Speaker 2They were on your leg. I just felt like I violated you a little bit.
Speaker 3It was. You know what. That sort of Tom. Here's the thing. I don't play sports anymore, so I grab ass slapping each other. You know all that stuff. Hadn't done in a while, brought you back. No, in the real world it feels different. Now it's you so like, and I know you, so I wasn't like.
Speaker 2Just some foreign balls.
Speaker 3I don't think I freaked out, not a French guy's balls. Yeah, feel these.
Speaker 2You like these.
Speaker 3You like these nuts? You like these nuts, these salty French nuts? No, knowing it was you is nice. It wasn't nice, but I just didn't mind it because I don't feel unsafe with you.
Speaker 2Does it upset you that I got aroused?
Speaker 3No, I was quite taken aback. All right, I was like. I was like oh hey, still got it thank you, um, so you're doing comedy again.
Speaker 2Yeah, you stopped for a while, yeah, um, and it's hard.
Speaker 3It's tough to schedule things now as as a parent well, time is more, uh, focused, which is a good thing. It's nice. Everything kind of has its its purpose. And I go out after the kids put to sleep and the wife is tired. So you know me, getting out like this is the and I'm burning and it both ends. Because I got to be at work early tomorrow, yeah, and I'm fucked because I had a monday table saw bro cause broke. The table saw broke still broke. It was working. No, I mean, is it? Oh yeah, no, it's not working now. Yeah, and I gotta rewire a bunch of shit anyway. Yeah, so like it's, just it's, but I don't know. I mean, I, everybody's life is hard one way or another. It's hard because you're doing a lot of things, and it's hard because you're not doing anything, and it's hard because you're on the couch and have a boner. I don't. Life is just hard in America. It's really not that bad right now.
Speaker 2It might just these little little ants on this little rock.
Speaker 3We are just scuttlebutton around. Yeah For the queen. Who is the queen? I don't think there is a queen right now in america it's money queen, money, all right, money queen. Um, so yeah, I, I and you've been doing it for a while, so I don't know, I mean I don't.
Speaker 2I need to sleep more do you?
Speaker 3yeah, how many hours you get a?
Speaker 2night? Oh, none really. Yeah, I mean, luckily janet. Janet's been a fucking hero like these last couple weeks. You know, I'm here every day, yeah, um, and I, I won't be home until probably one o'clock, yeah, and then I'll be wired, I won't go to bed till three yeah, and then, um, she'll let me sleep usually, but there are certain days where she's got an appointment or she's got some shit to do, or she's got to go to work yeah and uh early and I gotta go take uh the baby to daycare at like you know 830.
Speaker 2Yeah. And so it's a little quick turnaround. Yeah. And then I'll come home and I'll feel like shit. Yeah. And then I'll sleep, but then I'll wake up and then I didn't get anything done. Yeah, that needs to be done around the house she beats you. She should. Yeah, because I have been a piece of shit at the house lately. Nice, I need to do way more.
Speaker 3It's good to state that publicly and then, do nothing.
Speaker 2I hope she hears this so when you show. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3Janet. So in the next episode, when you show up with a black eye, start the narrative. Now I deserved it, yeah Well no, I deserved it right now no one deserves to get physically. I think some people do yeah some people do yeah, but what.
Speaker 2I'm getting at is I don't understand Back to the power of women that women put up with so much bullshit way more than we do. I mean, I guess they learn early when they start bleeding every month. Yeah, they have to deal with that.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2Could you imagine just having a shitty day and all of a sudden you're just bleeding?
Speaker 3Yeah, I do it out of my ass after.
Speaker 2I eat bad food, shrimp particularly, but it's every month on the, you know, just like oh hey, yeah I'm here. You know that sucks. You got this ph thing going on. You got this little chemistry set going on down there.
Speaker 3Yeah, got to keep it right well, get an erection at your grandmother's funeral and figure that out.
Speaker 2I mean, that's not easy I mean it's hard, though, if you know what I mean I do, hey, now, yeah, I thought I you know what I'm just saying. She puts up with my shit and I appreciate it and I need to start paying it forward.
Speaker 3Yeah, because her love language is acts of service ah, uh, it's, and your love language is no service.
Speaker 2There's no service it's just not doing anything. Yeah, and physical touch yeah so where I'm like hey honey, why don't you touch me?
Speaker 3yeah, she's like because you haven't done anything for me and look at you, and look at you, you piece of shit.
Speaker 2And then I'm like what, what, what, what, what do you mean? You don't want to what? And then she's like god damn it, like can you just shut up sometimes I think she'll satisfy me yeah just to shut me up the most.
Speaker 3This is the interesting wives, yeah, the most attractive thing, and this isn't to seem, uh, sexual, although some could construe it as such sure is when she's when she was when she breast yeah, and I mean that seriously.
Speaker 2What when she?
Speaker 3uh well, when she breastfeeds the child, it turns you on. It doesn't turn me on, but I'm just so attracted and beautiful, amazing, that's what I'm just like beautiful I'm like this woman is incredible we've talked about on the podcast.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm sure we have. It blows my mind that when the child, the child, saliva on a nipple on an areola yeah, sends messages to the mother what nutrients that breast milk needs to make yeah I, I'm like that sounds like science fiction it's god's design brother, that's weird.
Speaker 2Speaking of that, yeah, so I saw and I wish I had the, the, the article up, something I thought you'd find interested. The hubble telescope has found a planet with jesus, with jesus on it, yeah he's like hi, hi, I'm, I'm down here, here, here no, here no, but uh no, they found a planet that looks. They have pictures of it. It looks like fucking earth yeah and and uh, it has a certain uh um element on this planet.
Speaker 2Somehow they figure that out. I don't know how they do that yeah, pretty genius propaganda. But uh, no, there's uh, but it's uh. What plants give off chlorophyll, something similar to that, but they think there's oxygen on the line, you know, on the planet and there's life that very well could be. You know nasa's like very well could be. Uh, life on this planet. Yeah, I can see that I'm telling you we're we're right at the cusp of knowing some shit. Yeah, I think. Do you think that changes theology?
Speaker 3a bit For sure. In order to stay the same, you have to change. Catholics are fucked. I think most religions are fucked. In that case, I mean you'd have to adjust your scope and it becomes like the Earth thing. This is the whole thing with religion Does.
Speaker 2God cheat on us. Do we feel like we've been cheated on a little bit?
Speaker 3No, I don't. God has another kid.
Speaker 2Who am I to?
Speaker 3inhabit the mindset of the great and powerful God.
Speaker 2It's like God had a kid that we didn't know about.
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean, it makes you certainly feel, uh, maybe less special. You know, it depends on what's going on on that planet. It could just be people butt fucking and doing heroin not that butt fucking is wrong, dan no canceled dude, you got canceled just now.
Speaker 2Why I don't know? Because you said butt fucking and heroin, everybody can butt fuck. I know, but you're saying they're the only butt fuck I don't know the only butt.
Speaker 3Fuck. Well they're. What kind of planet is that? A fun planet, they're down to hang out. They're down to party. I don't know. They're fucking kicking squirrels and doing heroin.
Speaker 2They're just like us. They're like hey, hold on a second. They put their glass of wine down and they just take a squirrel and just kick it. You're like what the fuck?
Speaker 3And they're like well, now we butt fuck. That'd be so cool.
Speaker 2I think that's hilarious. Yeah, I'd be like man man, this is weird.
Speaker 3Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I think the whole, I think those religions apply to this planet.
Speaker 2Sure.
Speaker 3That's what I think, and so if there's another planet, they might have their own religion.
Speaker 2It's just a spin-off.
Speaker 3We got Jesus and Muhammad and they're.
Speaker 2What do you think they got other guys there.
Speaker 3Yeah, but maybe they're just like. It's like Canada. It's like the same, but just slightly different. Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2God's like hey, hey, let me explain. Let me explain. I got another girl pregnant yeah okay, her name is fairy chastity yeah and uh, she had a kid, carlos. Yes, well, carlos and jesus. Yes, carlos, and yeah, jesus, and uh, he also got crucified you can't name your kid the n-word, it's actually illegal.
Speaker 3It's illegal.
Speaker 2Yeah, found that out the hard way really yeah, wow, they're like, hey, you gotta change this.
Speaker 3They were like you can't and I was like, all right, whatever land of the free home of the brave, I guess, um, yeah, yeah, I don't know, I yeah, I think, uh, god would totally, I don't know, yeah, I don't know. All right, it'd certainly make. Would it make you feel any different?
Speaker 2um, I, I think, and if anything, I think it's not a sign like a sigh of relief, but yeah, it would be uh kind of like a wow. There's more to this, I think it would open my eyes.
Speaker 3Do you think we make it to the election? Do you think the election happens? The election?
Speaker 2yeah, you think, are you asking. Do you think the human civilization lasts until november?
Speaker 3no, I know we make it to november, but I do. Do you think the election happens? Happens? Yeah okay, the election's gonna happen okay.
Speaker 2Will there be an election in 2028? I don't know me, neither I don't know about that one. That's weird. But america we're so fucked up now that doesn't even really bother us that much yeah, there's no, there's no longevity no that's what I respect about the chinese.
Speaker 3They've been around for yeah centuries long time. Remember that movie, american factory. Like they're two chinese people. They're talking in chinese. I'm gonna pretend like I, I will be them. But they're like how long do you think? How long do you think? Uh, how old do you think america is? The other one's like like 500 years and he's like 200 she goes and they like, laugh, they're like, and then they open a factory in america well, even in germany, like in europe, like seeing buildings and seeing structures yeah, america just feels like a weird shitty yard sale right now it's all just.
Speaker 3It's like a family dollar chinese people buying the uh, the farmland and stuff like that. It's like the chinese and bill gates that's who owns all the farms really yeah all right and then there's people who like we shouldn't let chinese people buy our farmland. And then there's people in America who go racist, it's like, well, no, they're kind of a foreign adversary, we wouldn't let the Russians buy the Ruskies. We let that Russian guy buy the Nets. He was an oligarch.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3He was like I buy the Nets. I don't mind now I own the Nets and the cheerleaders.
Speaker 2You watch the basketball that show about the Lakers.
Speaker 3Oh, winning time yeah, I loved it. It sucked that there were only two seasons.
Speaker 2Bill Russell, the guy that played Bill Russell. Bill Russell, what are you?
Speaker 3talking about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? No, no, no.
Speaker 2Magic Johnson no the guy, the coach, jerry west, jerry west oh, jerry, no, there's jerry west.
Speaker 3And then pat riley, the guy that played jerry west yeah show. Yeah, spot on, he was perfect. Yeah, jerry west was a nutcase.
Speaker 2Yeah he's rip, rip, yeah, and what sucks is? Everyone just keeps talking about how he was the logo of the NBA. I'm like you guys have no idea Like this guy, was he?
Speaker 3was the NBA and white basketball. He was the guy the white.
Speaker 2Yeah, if you're a white supremacist, you shed a tear.
Speaker 3He could touch the rim. He was quite talented when he did layups. He touched the backboard.
Speaker 2He was a great white hope.
Speaker 3Yeah, he was the great white hope yeah, he's like I could dribble with my left hand. Yeah, he's a big deal.
Speaker 2He stopped playing basketball. Silver Wright started we let.
Speaker 3Yeah, coincidence, it was the end yeah, coincidence yeah, but then we owe it to him. Who's the new logo? Weren't they talking about Kobe being the new logo, or something like that?
Speaker 2Yeah, they've talked about that for a it should be Michael Jordan, it should be. Jordan period. He's the GOAT. He made the NBA what it is today. How many helicopter crashes has Jordan been in?
Speaker 3Zero.
Speaker 2Yeah, think about it. Yeah, how many women has he raped in Aspen?
Speaker 3God damn that we know of.
Speaker 2Zero. Well, champions don't get caught. Well, kobe did, and then he had to play for his freedom, like Chappelle said, and then everyone forgot about it once he was hitting 60, 70 points a game.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's fine. And then he's going to his daughter's basketball game. Yeah, he's fine. He's a good guy, good people on both sides.
Speaker 2What's Ashley Larry's name.
Speaker 3Donnell Rawlings. Yeah he had a great joke.
Speaker 2It was two weeks after. Yeah, um, kobe died, and it was a very sensitive subject in the comedy circles, yeah, especially famous black comedians weren't they weren't making fun of kobe yeah and uh, I went and saw chapelle jewish ones were uh yeah they were oh god, that's horrible. Yeah, um no, I I saw him and he had a joke and he said I'm going to talk about Kobe for a minute and then the crowd went kind of weird.
Speaker 2And he was like I'm just so glad that there weren't like a bunch of prostitutes on the helicopter.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2Like he was doing whatever, because, man, that would have changed the whole legacy.
Speaker 3Yeah, know whatever, because man that would have changed the whole legacy of legacy. Yeah, he died, you know, in a sadly poetic way, with his daughter. Yeah, but yeah, it'd been a bunch of whores yeah, it would have been a completely different.
Speaker 2Like man story kobe parties yeah, yeah wouldn't have been like a one year of grieving?
Speaker 3yeah, and there's cocaine all over the helicopter, kobe never had to deal with COVID. He didn't. No, no, there's something I guess nice about that.
Speaker 2I don't know why I thought that. I always thought that I'm like he died right before COVID started.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2Coincidence, I don't know. Think about this Kobe dies, yeah, covid happens. Tom Hanks has COVID in Australia. How are those linked? I need to know because they happen on earth. That One of the questions I've had for the longest time. Where was Tom Hanks on September 11th 2001? Do you know? Thailand, I believe in 2001, do you know? Thailand, I believe just being tom hanks just hanging out. I'm just, I'm just saying I think it's interesting that we can't pinpoint where tom hanks was.
Speaker 3He was working on a movie where he was an american expat no expat. Former military pilot who had this secret inside of him that he was a woman, but he didn't know how to reconcile because it's 2001 in America. But you know who's a bit more broad-minded about that stuff, a little more open-minded Osama bin Laden, the Thai people.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 3The people of Bangkok.
Speaker 2All right, and so he went there and he's researching, he's doing a deep dive with these lady boys yeah in order to get the part, get the role, get into the role, stuff like that very daniel day lewis of him now in this screenplay.
Speaker 3Yep, it's on reddit, you can find it, yeah I forgot about this flies into a building in the after yes, after he's.
Speaker 2He's become a ladyboy, yeah okay, and then he's like I'm gonna do it. I'm so tired dude, you look so tired I am. We've gone. We've gone 52 minutes.
Speaker 3Yeah, he flies into a building.
Speaker 2Yeah, because he's a lady boy, I don't think he flew into it, he lived though, or did he do the thing like db sweeney is that his name db cooper. I thought his name wasB Sweeney. Is that his name? Db Cooper? Db Cooper I thought his name was DB Sweeney but it is DB Cooper. You're right, he did, the DB Cooper, he jumped out.
Speaker 3I'm telling you why he was in Thailand, because he was researching this role for a movie that was never released, because the end of the movie is him realizing his dream of being a young thai lady boy and flying into a building in sri lanka by accident. They tested it with audiences october of 01.
Speaker 2I remember that, and they I remember that I forgot about it never forget.
Speaker 3And yeah, they were like we can't release this movie yeah, so he was in thailand in the in the vault. Yeah, he was in Thailand.
Speaker 2You know how many movies are in the vault like that because of that, jerry.
Speaker 3Lee Lewis did that movie where he's like I'm a clown in the Holocaust.
Speaker 2I make children smile.
Speaker 3And then they finished it and he watched it. He was like nobody can see this movie.
Speaker 2And then what's his name made it. Life is beautiful, a beautiful movie Cried like a baby.
Speaker 3My wife's favorite movie. Yeah, yeah, it's her favorite movie she's like I fucking love. I love this. I love the premise of it. I love the background story of this movie.
Speaker 2It's her favorite movie Fucking not like this. She thinks it's the best movie made, or?
Speaker 3it's her favorite. She's like I love this particular moment. She's watching it right now. She loves Italy and she loves. World.
Speaker 2War.
Speaker 3II.
Speaker 2Two things that your wife loves.
Speaker 3You know what I've realized about religion.
Speaker 2What did you realize at the 54th minute of our podcast.
Speaker 3Yeah, I don't think anybody's gonna make it to this point, but if they do, I think they'll be touched by this history history is written by how do you say the winners?
Speaker 2yeah, and it's not treason if you, but there's enough but there's always an ideology, if you're writing history correct. Yeah.
Speaker 3So there's ideology in something like Christianity, right Sure, and that makes it not history. It makes it not believable because of that right, but in other circumstances it works.
Speaker 2So what you're telling me is history is written by the winners, except for religion. That's the real stuff.
Speaker 3That's the truth, that's the true, that's the truth, brother it's so crazy because, like the holocaust, yeah, is this thing where there's a good amount of people who don't believe in it and then there's another crazy majority of people yeah, good people on both sides who go no, totally, and they create museums and they create our, and they make, they instill that this happened, their ideology not only this happened.
Speaker 2Yeah, that can never happen again. Exactly, and their ideology is to preserve to memorialize this whole show the truth exactly just like christianity, so you're saying christianity, it was preserved, even though, yeah, like a king was like, hey, I want you guys to write it in 1599, around shakespeare's time.
Speaker 3Yeah, and he was like, hey, monks, yeah, just write it yeah, all right, it's like alexander the great they wrote about him 500 years after the fact yeah, he rewrite these scrolls, these books.
Speaker 2So those dusty old who got to decide and I know there's an answer to this, but I'm interested in that I don't know the theology part of who decided what books made it into the bible, because it's gone back and forth, for example, uh arnold berlstein son of a bitch, this sucks sucks sucks sucks. This is good that's a good one. I like this.
Speaker 3Oh, this one, leviticus very good, very good, good writing, nice prose. Uh, the story of jermaine skip. Get out of here no, no, uh.
Speaker 2The song of songs, uh, song of solomon, song of solomon that has been taken out in and out of the Bible over the last few hundred years because, it's been debated whether or not it has any religious context to it, because it's the only book in the Bible that doesn't mention God. Yeah, and it's about two lovers. Yeah, it's like Romeo and Juliet. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 3You're reading all this stuff and all of a sudden it's the editor, mr brilstein, was probably like we need something steamy, I need some sex.
Speaker 2They're like what are you talking about? We can't put, we can't put sex in the bible. He's like come on, come on, don't be a fagola, don't be a fucking pussy.
Speaker 3Come on, put it in there put it in there.
Speaker 2That's what he says. Her, her breast were of ivory towers, oh yeah. Is that?
Speaker 3a quote from it. Oh yeah, dude, I gotta check out this.
Speaker 2Song of Solomon Dude. I used to steal excerpts from it.
Speaker 3Yeah, and send it to my girlfriend. Oh, I thought you were gonna it beat off to it. Yeah, you're like oh my God, no, no, I used to like yeah, you have breasts of ivory, of ivory towers yeah, your neck is like a gazelle, the horns of a mountain goat. This is good I don't know what the song is. It's not bad though, hey, so let's wrap this shit up.
Speaker 2Yeah, let's. Hey, if you're in charleston and you're not, if you haven't come to wit's end, fuck you yeah, come to wit's end.
Speaker 3It's a good time and it's nice to it'd be nice to support a place that's trying its best to make everybody happier.
Speaker 2I'm trying to pay the bills here. And I can't pay the bills if you don't come and buy alcohol or food from me. The Department of Revenue in South Carolina requires me to say that we're a restaurant, but I am a bar and I need you to buy booze for me.
Speaker 3That serves food with the booze. Yes, to saturate your stomach, so you don't get too drunk and you can make it home safely.
Speaker 2I'm a poison peddler.
Speaker 3No brother.
Speaker 2I pedal poison.
Speaker 3You're peddling spirits, that's all it is. Good spirits yes, it's this kind of spirit. Not this spirit, this spirit, the spirit and the heart and the soul. God spirit and the heart and the soul.
Speaker 2God damn it, dude. I'm so glad we're back on the podcast yeah, no, this is it's gonna be.
Speaker 3And you know what the key is. What's the key? Consistency. Repetition is the father of success.
Speaker 2Dude that was when we were in our prime on this podcast. I didn't listen to other people start podcasts we've never hit our stride. We haven't, no, we've never had a few times, there were moments there were little tiny windows my favorite moment besides jimmy's light pole.
Speaker 3Yeah, the classic was laughing at your wife being afraid to sleep with you because of your ptsd. That to me. Go back and listen to that. When? What episode was that? Uh, it was 46 simpler times simpler times yeah, and this is a cool thing. I don't know if this means anything. My wife and I were talking about this. When you die, you can't hear the people's voices anymore. Yeah, you, just like I can imagine my nana's voice, but I don't. I don't.
Speaker 2You don't have a document of it you know, yeah, it's just a memory, it's just like I can feel what it sounded like. But I'll never hear it so this is kind of cool. Yeah, this will be out there forever.
Speaker 3Yeah, well, yeah. Until as long as I keep paying the man Until the solar flare takes us all out.
Speaker 2But you have a point, and one of my fears of dying is that I don't leave anything behind. Yeah, and what I've learned, it's my children and I live forever because of my kids.
Speaker 3Yeah, Unless they don't have seed In a genetic sense. Yeah.
Speaker 2Not really. If you think about it, I'm literally a part of them. Yeah, and I'm living. I'm continuing to live, that's why I said genetics yeah. But you sound like well scientifically speaking.
Speaker 3That's what I. Yeah, no, I mean, but yeah, science is the romance, the joie de vivre, the hooty-hoo.
Speaker 2But what I'm getting at is, I'm one of those people that I want to leave something behind. Yeah, and if you think of this podcast, we've been doing it four years. Yeah, I think. Yeah.
Speaker 3Somewhere around there On and off, yeah.
Speaker 2I mean, I've had podcasts with my ex-girlfriends. I've had podcasts where I talked about losing my job-girlfriends. I've had podcasts where I I talked about losing my job?
Speaker 3yeah, that was pathetic, you, you, your ex-girlfriend remember, uh yeah, phone calls from her while we were on the podcast. God, what a different time.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I've gotten married and had a child on this, on this show, and it's only going up yeah, as a matter of fact, for the historians of this podcast, go back and listen to the old Sean Patton episode. Yeah, the threesome, something in a threesome, whatever. I can't remember. It wasn't Sean Patton episode. It was us talking about Sean Patton, but your wife is on that podcast.
Speaker 3Yeah, I'm going to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2Hey, motherfuckers, yeah.
Speaker 3Motherf. Hey, motherfuckers, hey motherfuckers, hey, hey Motherfuckers, she's got a nice voice. When she sings, she has a great voice. She sings at the house with a butter knife on her neck. Dance, sing for me.
Speaker 2Sing for me, Sally Sing the songs. Sing me a song. Yeah, it's going to be back.
Speaker 3I'm not quitting.
Speaker 2Dan did not quit the podcast. He's back to the point. Now I have to change the graphic yeah, it's not yeah, hey, oh, I got an album coming out, but we'll talk about that in another episode next week yeah, because it releases on the 27th.
Speaker 3It does actually. Actually, we might have to bank because I'm heading out of town next week.
Speaker 2Where are you going?
Speaker 3Asheville Okay. Yeah. All right, see the. Is she still alive? Who, grandma?
Speaker 2No dead.
Speaker 3Okay, dead as shit. Yeah, no, she, great woman RIP. Great woman RIP. No the baby's you know, like Katie's sister.
Speaker 1Extended family, and then the niece and nephews and the grandparents.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, so that'll be In Nashville. Yeah, good for you. You want to get on a show while you're up there? No, oh yeah, you get your ass beat for that.
Speaker 3No, I think actually I'd like it, but I don't want them to ever see my comedy you just sneak out and go do a show yeah, I could do that. This is also a name of a gay club sneaking. Sneak out and see a show. Sneak out and see a show. Sneak out and see a show. This has been good. Yeah, it's been fine. Hit a button, we'll hit our. Uh, we'll hit our um, we'll hit our stride. There we go, let's try it.
Speaker 2Stride along the river.
