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Lowcountry Lowlifes
Maybe the greatest mediocre podcast you've never heard. Listen to comedian Josh Bates and Dan Sweeney talk about something and nothing all at once. Insightful? Maybe. Entertaining? Kinda. A waste of your time? Absolutely. Oh....and Dan quit the show
Lowcountry Lowlifes
Flipper and God
Hold onto your hats because our conversation takes a bizarre turn as we venture into the murky waters of bestiality. We recount the controversial story of a man's relationship with a dolphin, complete with cultural insights and ethical debates. From the distressing documentary that details this man's strange attraction to the unfortunate suicide of the dolphin, we explore the heavy societal implications and the personal toll on individuals with such predilections. It's a wild ride filled with laughter, serious reflection, and a touch of absurdity.
Finally, we tackle the uncharted territory of ethical dilemmas, historical conundrums, and existential riddles. From debating the sexual intelligence of marine animals to imagining the moral complexities of time travel, our discussion is as eclectic as it is thought-provoking. We share childhood memories, muse over near-death experiences, and even brainstorm some outrageously quirky breast milk ice cream flavors. It's a blend of humor, curiosity, and deep reflection that promises to leave you both entertained and contemplative.
here we are different sides of the couch. We did it. We're flipping sides. You ever flip sides in bed with your wife. I did this weekend how'd you like it?
Speaker 1:I didn't like it one bit. Did she like it no?
Speaker 2:all right, so that's good so both you go back to your corners yeah, I'm a right side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right side sleeper, if I'm. So. If you're looking at the bed, I'm on the right side uh yeah, in the bed.
Speaker 2:I guess technically that'd be stage right, I'm stage right on stage if you're looking at the stage left, if I'm looking at it, I'm stage stage right stage is what your left and right is. Is the actor okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm stage left. Yeah, I'm on the side of my heart all right, the left side yeah yeah, I don't like switching sides, but this is all right. How do you like it over there?
Speaker 2:it's not bad this corner is all right. It's all right. It's good to like get your feet in the couch. So, dan, I don't want to discuss the elephant in the room. Yeah, there you go. We do this show after open mics at the club.
Speaker 1:It's the only time we have these days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is fine, it's great. So we went up. We always tend to go like last that's how it's been lately yeah, and it's fun and you and I have had some pretty good sets, um, and then tonight.
Speaker 1:Well, there was about four people in the audience left yeah, um, jaded by the end of the show, the audience you've had enough bitter there's. They're like what are we what?
Speaker 2:else could you say up there that I don't want to hear? And you went up there, you did material that's been proven in front of people, in front of real shows, real paid audiences, and it didn't go the way you wanted it to it did terrible, and then I was like man and I was like well like this guy sucked, no I show you, yeah, I went up there I knew it was gonna suck. No, I show you, yeah, I went up there I knew it was going to suck and I it did.
Speaker 1:Did you feel nervous before going up?
Speaker 2:No, neither did.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:Cause I have fake confidence. I have fake confidence in myself. Oh, like I could do this, yeah. And then I went up there and I was like oh no, you can't.
Speaker 1:I uh, I thought I was like, this is where.
Speaker 2:This is where the magic happens.
Speaker 1:This is where I.
Speaker 2:Can grow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and I actually shrank Same.
Speaker 2:Like I D, I used to be 5'9". I think I'm 5'7 now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I used to be 6 inches, now I'm 4. All right, 3 even, actually I'm 2. You got weirded out.
Speaker 2:They, just they. It was a weird night and uh, yeah, there was another issue, there was some drama yeah first uh drama we've had at the club and it was non-violent, very non-violent, which is nice. We had a comic call someone in the audience uh, a cunt, a cunt, which is fine.
Speaker 4:Well, I've done it.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you maybe said stop being a cunt, or are you going to be whatever. Oh, you're being cunty, or maybe I don't even think you've said it, but it's a new comic. He's only been in uh doing comedy for two months and he chose to use it. The woman went off.
Speaker 1:There was uh drama oh, that was a real situation yeah, it was real.
Speaker 2:She was outside screaming and crying being a cunt no. So yeah, the lesson learned. The guy felt horrible afterwards came and talked to me. So, josh, I I'm really sorry. My heart had no ill intention. Yeah, I tried something. It didn't work. My cup runneth over horrible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorrow said stop.
Speaker 2:I'm really sorry, my heart had no ill intention. Yeah, I tried something. It didn't work. My cup runneth over, yeah, and I said stop I said you're a new comic. Yeah, you said something. You're vulnerable up there. You're going to say things off the cuff, yeah, and now you probably know there's a good percentage chance that what just happened could happen again.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And he was ready for me to be an asshole, and I wasn't well, yeah, there's no reason to no now had I not been a comic. I probably would have been. It probably would have been a little different. I probably would have acted different towards him yeah, well I, I do. I'm probably gonna have a negative yelp review tomorrow now, oh, you think I'm sure this lady's gonna.
Speaker 1:She's a cunt. Yeah, she probably will leave one. Um, yeah, but you know, whatever? Yeah, that's the thing I think most people here's the thing I don't understand people who leave reviews for places.
Speaker 2:I don't know or for products or yelp or anything like that. I think that on message boards yeah, I thank god for them, because I love going to them. Oh yeah, but I would never in a million years add contribute yeah, no.
Speaker 1:So who cares what she has to say? Somebody will go, oh, and then I think if they have the wherewithal, they'll be like yeah, she seems like a bit of a bit of a Karen.
Speaker 2:Bit of a Karen UNT.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a bit of a see you next Tuesday.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because that's such an ugly word Cunt. I hate you yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't even like the word. It's not sexy to me. I can dirty talk. I wouldn't even use that word, you wouldn't? No, oh, not really, I mean.
Speaker 4:I would, if I'm you and uh like a role playing and I'm british, you're wearing a top hat. Oh my, oh, you can't. He's precious, oh, he's just sweet little cunt. So you're alfred from batman. I wish I was a tampon and I could just get it. I'm king charles, oh okay, I just wish I could slither up in your cunt. Just take a little nap tampon, nap up in that cunt of yours really yeah, you ever hear that I got turned on just now.
Speaker 1:You know that story no, no, thank god, you got that pillow. I saw a move. No, he was uh, he was talking to uh, camilla, yeah and uh, it was over the telephone and there was like some guy. I guess back in the day, back in the 80s, you could just like listen in on frequencies, maybe in britain or something like that tv.
Speaker 1:I mean, uh, phone calls yeah, you could just be like oh, what's happening in this? Like he's just kind of like line switch. It might have been illegal. I'm sure it was. Yeah, because the government wasn't doing it and he was just doing it for fun so they have them on and they and he's he's like, wait a second. He gets a hold of the phone call and it's prince charles and cam talking dirty and he's like oh, I wish I was just a little tampon Getting shoved up your cunt.
Speaker 1:He said I wish I was a tampon Going right up in there Just hanging out with that little cunt of yours. Wow, I always thought Princess Diana was hotter. I never understood it. Yeah, camilla's like I don't care that you're a lizard, I still love you. Yeah, Camilla's like.
Speaker 4:I don't care that you're a lizard, I still love you. Yeah, yeah A little tampon. Charles.
Speaker 2:Lyndon Johnson. His tapes are fun to listen to. Him and Nixon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nixon's great.
Speaker 2:They're all public domain, yeah, and they go sift through the files and find the best stuff. Lyndon Johnson, pretty great, he's pretty.
Speaker 1:He's a wild guy. He's a centric guy. He was a savage politician. Some people think he was gay.
Speaker 2:Lyndon Johnson.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because a guy who worked in his cabinet or in his staff came out as gay.
Speaker 2:So they just assumed the president was gay because of it.
Speaker 1:Well, they were like well, it's like they didn't they go. Well, he had to have known. Because, like, when the guy was like I'm gay and then like had to leave, yeah, president johnson was like oh my god, I can't believe he's, he's a queer, I can't. I had no idea. And it's like you worked pretty closely with the guy, like well, he was famous for taking shits and still continuing a.
Speaker 1:He would have a full conversation with you and go take a shit hold on a second what we're gonna do yeah, and he would just have the door open and would he also liked uh having diplomatic meetings naked in like a gym sauna hot tub type setting. So he could show off his giant dick well, because if you're negotiating with a guy yeah, and he's got a giant dick way bigger than yours yeah, like if he's negotiating with china yeah, the guy's like oh, oh, big cowboy dick, oh big american penis yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, we're kidding, it was like a uh no, it's what he did, that's what he. It was what he did. That's what he did.
Speaker 2:You didn't actually do an impression of an Asian person. I listened to the tapes. You listened to the tapes and did an impression of Lyndon Johnson doing the impression. That's what I heard, not canceled.
Speaker 1:No, you're not. I'm merely a verbal stenographer of what I hear and I'm just playing the characters in the life that I perceive. I get it, that's it, I get it.
Speaker 2:That's all it is. This is what a dolphin sounds like. Oh, that's nice. Is that wrong of me to do?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Is it wrong for?
Speaker 1:you to have sex with a dolphin. Some say no, yeah, I don't care.
Speaker 2:Like if you don't care if people have sex with animals?
Speaker 4:No, I really don't.
Speaker 2:Really, yeah, you don't feel bad for the animal?
Speaker 1:No, it's an animal. We eat them. We don't eat all of them. Yeah, that's true, but they're animals.
Speaker 2:What about your? You love your dog and your cats. What if I came over to your house and fucked your cat?
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's my cat.
Speaker 1:So love your dog, and I mean your cats. What if I came? Over to your house and fucked your cat. Yeah, it's my cat. So you'd only be mad because it was your cat. You know what? I'll take that back. Some animals, cats is where you draw the line. If somebody's having sex with stray cats, no, your cat, my cat. Yeah, I'm not gonna be happy. Yeah, because they've broken into my house. Okay, because I'm not setting up this cat sex ring.
Speaker 2:Do you want them to ask permission, like mr sweetie?
Speaker 4:may I have sex with you?
Speaker 2:I would like to make a sweet love to your feline, your calico sweet southern gentleman he's like let me penetrate your I have been the gentleman caller over these last few months courting your feline kitty cat. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I would like to be up in your cat. Let's not mince words. I would like to stick my erect member inside of your cat and hear her sweet meows. And I understand. You have two cats and one is a male. I am a vicarious bestiality man myself. I would like to sleep with a male cat as well.
Speaker 2:Now do not get me wrong. I am no queer, I ain't no homo.
Speaker 4:But when it comes to cats, I can't say no.
Speaker 1:I'm a fluid man. Yeah, no, if.
Speaker 2:I was doing that.
Speaker 1:It would be weird for me to invite that sweet southern gentleman over to my house to have sex with my cat and then be like what are you doing? No, but if dogs, you know what? Because in Korea they eat dogs, yeah, so it's like I think they only eat like one certain.
Speaker 2:They don't just eat any dog Pipples, no, I think they're bred for oh hot dogs. No, yeah, I think they're bred for. Oh, hot dogs no, yeah, I think they're bred for it oh, they're like.
Speaker 1:This is yeah, like cows they have like a golden retriever and they don't eat that one, but like there's yeah it's like a special type of dog barbecue dog.
Speaker 2:Yeah like, oh, that one's delicious yeah that one though that one's for the house, yeah, yeah that's this.
Speaker 1:This is a pretty dog. That's a tasty dog. Yeah, eat that dog.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah I uh, damn it, we're canceled.
Speaker 1:No, we're not it's so some animals I have. I got you know what. Somebody has sex with goldfish. I don't care. You ever see the videos of monkeys who will just like take like a frog and they're just like. They use it as like a fleshlight. I got no problem with. I don't feel good for the videos are you watching?
Speaker 1:my algorithm's wild, it's, it is out of control. Um, yeah, you know, like I, because I I saw this documentary. I forget what it was. It's about a guy who had sex with a dolphin, yeah, um, and he, uh, I watched it with my wife because that's what we do with the baby down. I'm like let's watch this documentary about sex with a dolphin. She's like, sure, uh, and he was telling his life story and he was like he had always been attracted to animals. Sure, he's. Like I tried to have, I tried to have like to have a relationship with the family dog. Let's just say that didn't go well. Let's just say there were a couple woof-woofs and that's as far as I went and I was embarrassed by this and I tried to have relationships with women and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:He's like, but it never really worked out. And then this one summer I went to this place in Florida I don't know, evergl world, you know one of these old florida kind of yeah, and he befriended the dolphin, uh, and he's like the dolphin like started like coming on to me. He's like because the dolphin at first was kind of skittish and then it got used to him yeah and then she would roll over and he would rub her belly and he's like, oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:And then she would get close. She's, the dolphin was kind of aggressive, he's like put your fucking finger in me, dude. Yeah. And he's like what? And she was like, yeah, go for it, buddy. And he was like that's what the dolphin was saying to me. So then he put his fingers inside the dolphin. She was like can you do a dolphin orgasming for me a little bit more, like I need ecstasy? Yeah, there, it is right there that dolphin would do that.
Speaker 1:And he's like oh, yeah, and eventually he decided he was like I'm gonna. I think I don't know if he lost his virginity to the doll I I don't remember the specifics, but eventually he like the park was closing and he was like it's now or never. It's like I'm gonna have sex with this dolphin and he had sex with her and he was like we had to try different positions at first. I think cause nobody caught him.
Speaker 2:The dolphin was in international waters, Like I don't the dolphin.
Speaker 1:Well, the good thing about dolphins is nobody listens to them. The dolphins are like whatever. Whatever dolphin they're like, shut up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, likely story. He probably wanted it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he'd be a whore dolphin. What were you wearing? Oh, nothing, yeah, case closed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dolphin you were asking for it.
Speaker 1:No, I don't think he didn't get caught. And then the dolphin got shipped away to like a different.
Speaker 2:Didn't it kill itself it?
Speaker 1:killed itself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And he felt he didn't want that dolphin dick After you've had human dick, oh yeah, you don't want that dolphin dick.
Speaker 1:Sweet nerdy human white dick. Yeah, she was like I'm not going to, mackerel, doesn't do it for me anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need that human d yeah flipper over there, fuck him.
Speaker 1:No, he comes too quick. Yeah, I need a real man I need charles yeah, or I think it was mike.
Speaker 2:I think that was his name. I'm sure it wasn't.
Speaker 1:But then, yeah, he wrote a book about it and like talked about it. It's interesting because he had uh an erotic novel well he had he ended up having like at some point. He's like you know they're like how is your life now? And he's like not good. He's like I don't have very many friends and he's like but you know, like I've rekindled like the relationship with like my daughter and stuff and katie looked at me and was like this guy had a family that's the thing that always it's like the guy, the mr hands guy yeah, he had a family, like these guys have families jesus christ yeah, so I don't care about that.
Speaker 1:At no point was I like this is wrong. I was like, oh, whatever, it seemed like the dolphin wanted it, because here's the thing, people go you, uh, you graped the dolphin as you draped the dolphin, they groomed it dolphin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you draped the dolphin. Yeah, um, but he would argue. He's like the dolphin groomed me and he's like also, like dolphins can kill sharks. Like at any point she could have just killed him, she could do. She's a dolphin, he's in her world. It's not like he brought her, he brought the dolphin out in the land. He's like come in the back of my Chevy pickup, let's play Bob Seger, take you to a movie. Yeah, no, he was in the water with the dolphin, so like if she wanted to get away she could have. And when he's making that case I go. That checks out. That holds water, that case right there.
Speaker 2:Maybe they went to trial and there was someone like you, you were the hungerer. You're like I don't see the problem, I don't. And they're like we want to go home. Dan, come on, just say he's guilty. And you're like guilty of what Love? I don't see the problem here, I don't. I think the bitch wanted it.
Speaker 1:I'm real misogynist towards female dolphins yeah, female women love them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, female dolphins, skanks, whores just aquatic whores running around their fins for anybody yeah, giving everybody their blowhole um there's a lot of gay dolphins get.
Speaker 1:Dolphins are gay oh yeah, they're like romans, romans of the sea just will fuck each other doesn't matter. Yeah, fuck each other's blowholes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they sport fuck yeah, and then they'll take that like anal for a dolphin the blowhole no, that's just. That's like talking to one another, it's like a blowjob, you just got to get used to it.
Speaker 1:Oh it is yeah, because yeah they can't use their mouth because they got like serrated teeth and stuff yeah, I wouldn't feel good I used to love going out into, uh, into the marsh fucking dolphins into the mash and just no. Like katie and I would go kayak and just go look at the. The dolphins would come up and I'd be like man, I'd love to get inside one of those dolphins and she's like yeah, me too, you know dolphin puss dolphin dick I mean, could you imagine like meeting a guy you know you're, you're kind of jaded with men, you're in your 30s, you.
Speaker 2:You go online, you, because your friends tell you to, you're on there for a while, you meet a couple skis bags and then you meet mike. Mike looks like a good guy. You know he works at the school district, don't know what he does, but he works there. You decide, hey, I feel safe. I talked to this guy a couple times. I'm gonna go on a date with him. The date goes well, they're having a good time, they even you know, he dares, even tries to kiss her. On the first date she accepts, she abides by it. She's like he's bold but respectful, he's a little bit respectful. And then on the third date, where she thinks things are going great, she tells her girlfriends hey, I like mike, yeah, I'm. Thank you for making me go on this site. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then Mike just says hey, I got to talk to you about something.
Speaker 1:Oh, what is it, Mike?
Speaker 2:I used to fuck dolphins One dolphin in particular, she wanted it. What? Yeah, you heard me right, susan?
Speaker 1:You had sex with a dolphin.
Speaker 2:You're goddamn right, I did. I know it sounds weird, why, but can you? Yeah, the only way I can did you hurt it. Oh, I hurt it. I hurt her heart. She killed herself. What? Yeah, she killed herself.
Speaker 1:She couldn't bear leaving me um do you ever think that maybe the dolphin killed herself because you had sex with her?
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no. This dolphin definitely wanted it. If anything, the dolphin tricked me, so I just needed you to know that before this relationship went any further.
Speaker 1:And can you put this on?
Speaker 2:Yeah, can you put this dolphin mask on?
Speaker 1:And draw a bath. Yeah, it would suck.
Speaker 2:Will you sing Flipper?
Speaker 1:Well, it's interesting because he ended up getting married and having.
Speaker 2:He's had that conversation.
Speaker 4:I don't know. If he told her, would she not know? Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:He was divorced.
Speaker 2:That was clear. Is she an?
Speaker 1:orca?
Speaker 2:I don't know orca lover if you had a fuck uh dolphin or orca oh, dolphin yeah, sexier. I don't who's sexier in the sea, though that's a tough one.
Speaker 1:Dolphin or an orca.
Speaker 2:I think they're the two sexiest things in the sea right you know what? What's sexier than an orca or a dolphin? I don't think dolphins look too uh like a sea turtle. They're too skinny, you know, oh yeah, like one of those giant sea tortoises.
Speaker 1:Like a leatherback. Yeah, get some wisdom over a killer whale.
Speaker 2:Though Killer whales are kind of hot, they're kind of attractive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think the danger, the excitement of the killer whale. I'm like this thing can kill me at any moment.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the excitement of the killer whale.
Speaker 1:I'm like this thing can kill me at any moment. Yeah, and it could protect you. It could blackfish me, could sea world, me at any moment.
Speaker 2:While you're in the sea together, you know you're safe as long as it's not her she wants me to be safe. Yeah, yeah but she'll fuck up a shark for you oh yeah, but so would a dolphin. But not all size sharks.
Speaker 1:I think a dolphin could take a great white.
Speaker 2:No, yes, no, a pod of dolphins Negative. For sure dude Nah dude.
Speaker 1:Three dolphins could take a great white Killer whales can?
Speaker 2:I don't think dolphins can.
Speaker 1:I know they can. I watched Flipper as a child. But orcas kill dolphins? Yeah, of course. Or Orcas are actually just giant, they're porpoises. They're in the same, they're all in the same family. It's all the same. Weird, but when you say dolphin.
Speaker 2:We all think bottlenose dolphin. Yeah. That's the hot slut of the sea, of the dolphin world. I mean, no one wants to fuck her. When was the last time you took a real good look at a dolphin, like really, really.
Speaker 1:Really really studied it.
Speaker 2:It's been a while dan, here's the thing, though I can't really tell the difference in gender between uh, you can well once they flip over yeah yeah, you can, but like at their face no, I have no idea no it's any, it's anybody it's very woke of you to not judge a dolphin by its face of course, yeah, it's kind of racist in a way, to be like oh dolphins, look the same to me yeah, all dolphins, yeah, they all act the same.
Speaker 1:They'll. Pattern recognition, uh, yeah, yeah, I, I so in it, but I think there's something more human about a dolphin than uh, than a killer whale really yeah killer whales are just dumb they're like.
Speaker 2:I think they're smarter than dolphins I don't know.
Speaker 1:I might be wrong. I don't think so like a bottle nosed I think I think a dolphin's smarter than a killer whale.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing again are they playing jeopardy like what? Do you know what I mean? How are we judging their?
Speaker 1:I think their language is more complex and I think the. I think there's a thing that scientists measure like brain, like the size of a brain, Not necessarily the size of the brain, but the amount of convection that the brain can make and dolphins. Synapses, synapses, synapses. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Theirs is larger than ours. Pigs are pretty big too. Here's the prime problem with pigs. A pig looks like a human that's been cursed to become a pig.
Speaker 2:If you really look at a pig, have you seen Willow when they all become the witch? Makes them all look like pigs.
Speaker 1:No, I watched Babe, though, oh.
Speaker 4:I ram you, you ever remember that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, babe in the Big City. Oh yeah, I don't think I ever saw Babe in the Big City, but I saw the original.
Speaker 2:You didn't see Willow.
Speaker 1:No, willow's a great movie. Yeah yeah, warwick Davis, the guy that played the R&B singer.
Speaker 2:No, that's Warwick.
Speaker 1:Diane.
Speaker 2:Warwick, yeah, diane Warwick, the psychic, walk on by. She's a psychic, oh is she?
Speaker 1:Yeah, she used to do the Psychic Network thing on tv. Remember miss cleo? Yeah, that she was like her was miss cleo, uh caribbean yeah, let me read your part.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but uh, no, willow warwick davis was a guy that played a wicket in star wars and he played leprechaun and leprechaun back to the hood all of them leprechaun in the hood um, but he played himself. Not himself, but as a normal character. Yeah. It's like a Wizards and Dragons has Val Kilmer in it. Oh, okay, Great movie.
Speaker 1:I'll have to check that out.
Speaker 2:Great movie, but she curses the humans yeah she's like you're all pigs, Pigs and they all become like pig people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah and it's pretty gross looking pig to me has always looked pigs will cry for their, for their children when you take them away and that's why they taste so good when you make them into bacon I have a problem like I I if meat didn't taste so good?
Speaker 2:yeah, I do think it's at this point in our evolution. Yeah, I would probably be not a full vegetarian.
Speaker 1:Fuck fish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll eat a fish or even a bird A lot of birds I'll eat. I don't like how they're. You know it's pretty inhumane how we do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but this is my thing. We're not humane to one another Like we're not good to each other.
Speaker 2:Sure, I'm not good to my wife, you know, but I'm concerned about eating pig.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like it's straight. I follow, like uh pita's account on instagram. Yeah, and uh, some of the things like are uh seem reasonable. Yeah, like I was watching the one where, like, they do the running of the bulls and like they'll fuck the bulls up at the end of the running of the bulls like they'll rip their horns off balls yeah, and the bull is just like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, that sucks. And then there's other ones where they're like, look at, like this leather jacket, like it didn't need to be leather, or they're like, you know, doing something to like some animal and I just I don't feel anything at all. Certain ones I go, oh, that's tough. And then other ones I'm like so, so it is this weird uh conflict I have, because it's like, yeah, it's, it's like, you know, when a pig is separated from her, you know like the sow is separated from the mother, there's like pig cries. I go, yeah, well, it's, that's terrible, but it's still a pig, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know how to reconcile that I'm just interested in where the line is drawn for you what do you mean? Like I don't think, animals have you given souls to like certain ones and other ones you're like, yeah, they're just an animal yeah, I mean the ones I've uh have connections with, and cats I think are really cool.
Speaker 1:I like cats, I like dogs, but not all of them. You know what I'm saying On the way here tonight.
Speaker 1:I saw two geese that had been hit by cars. Yeah, you didn't care. No, it was actually really so interesting to see two different reactions, and this may come across as offensive, but it's actually really. It was so interesting to see two different reactions. Yeah, and this is this may come across as offensive, but it's not. It's just what I saw and what I heard. Sure, on the side of the road there were two young white girls and they were like they looked emotional yeah, oh my god, the geese are dead, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, as that's happening, a car full of young black girls goes by and goes oh shit, look at the dead geese. And I was like that's life.
Speaker 2:That's life.
Speaker 1:I thought it was funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I was like that's funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I didn't feel anything when I saw the geese get.
Speaker 2:Geese are assholes.
Speaker 1:They are geese. Geese are assholes. They are. They shit all over everything. They think they own everything. Yeah, they shit all over?
Speaker 2:well, they don't. They don't have control of their assholes. Yeah, okay, I mean that just comes out. Yeah, but I mean I'm not defending geese because I hate when they cross. I don't think that's a defense for geese.
Speaker 1:I think that's a reason to get rid of geese yeah, they can't control.
Speaker 2:Hey, if you can't control your asshole, you don't deserve to be respected. I just don't like how they get on the street and they look at you and they're like what are you gonna do, motherfucker?
Speaker 1:I think you're gonna look so bad if you run me over I think somebody tonight was like yeah, I'll bite, and there's two of them, yeah, just dying. Yeah, you ever hit anything?
Speaker 2:I heard a turtle once, oh yeah, and it was a big turtle yeah and my car hit it yeah you're the crunch yeah, and I was like you think it's dead and yeah, yeah, we were like about to miss a flight, so we didn't turn back.
Speaker 1:No, what do you want to turn back? Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2:I mean I, was going like 60, even if I just bumped that thing trying to put it, try to tape it back together I just smothered the turtle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my hand I've had a bunch of deer yeah, I've never hit a deer first deer I hit I was on the way to school with my brother driving in the old sob yeah, it leapt over a guardrail. Yeah, and I landed on my hood and then, just skidded across into oncoming traffic yeah it just no it just landed and it looked like its brain popped out of its ear like something fell out, yeah and I just kept driving yeah, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2:what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1:read it its last rites and go. You were a good deer, in the name of the father you know yeah, you gotta go.
Speaker 2:I just kept going. What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1:another time uh upstate new york yeah drive in the middle of the night, stoned allegedly, and uh, I come around this corner, I'm going pretty fast and there's two deer in both lanes, one an oncoming and one is sophie's choice.
Speaker 2:Did you have to pick a deer?
Speaker 1:I. So I was like I'm not picking the deer, I'm gonna split the deer, I'm gonna go right in between them. The thing you don't do when you come across a deer is you don't slow down because when you slow down, your hood goes down and then the deer comes up and it kills you and your family yeah so I actually downshifted and accelerated through the gap.
Speaker 1:I tried to shoot the gap you can the gap A deer one of the one of the deer, the one on the right side, jumped out. Yeah, it's head hit my taillight and then it went under my tire and I popped its head and the people who were behind me got the brunt of the word. Oh, they were like hysterical because they saw a deer's head just explode.
Speaker 2:But did you stop?
Speaker 1:No, just explode. But did you stop? No, I kept driving. What?
Speaker 2:am I gonna do? Well, I mean, I didn't know how you knew, like yeah no, I was like I had a deer yeah everybody's like I'm always like I get a weird sixth sense with deer. I know it sounds dumb no, it's not but I'll be driving and I'm like I need to really be careful. There's gonna be deer and then, sure enough, like one will pop out. Look around.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh you motherfucker, because when you see one, you know there's more yeah, oh, they travel in packs yeah, and so, like once you see one, you're like oh fuck, now I gotta yeah, if somebody had sex with a deer I'd go that wouldn't bother you no an adult deer.
Speaker 1:Somebody's doing it to a baby, baby animals. I have a problem with animal pedophiles, not okay with not okay with, but once they're of age.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in their, in their age yeah, once they're so like a rabbit once it's like three days old, yeah, it could fuck. You're down with it being fucked by a human whatever.
Speaker 1:No, you know, I think it's animals that can defend themselves.
Speaker 2:I have no problem with, because you're like, hey, if the animal doesn't want it, it's going to tell it not to go or it's going to run away?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it can run away. Like I remember, I was in the doctor's office in college and a guy had come in who was a hunter. Yeah. And he was pulling off his, like you know, hunting suit and there were just hoof marks all over him because he had gotten into a scuffle with a deer deer just got up and just you know, yeah, the shit out of him yeah, my sister got kicked by a deer, did she really?
Speaker 2:yeah, there was these tame deer at this place called royal gorge. It's the highest suspension bridge in the world and it's out in kind of a wooded, you know, frontier kind of environment. Lewis and clark, yeah, yeah, and uh, there's a bunch of tame deer nearby. Tame deer yeah, well, people feed them, so they get they're almost hand fed yeah so they'll come right up to you. So there was one that had like four or five people already around it.
Speaker 2:My sister was like two yeah, oh three and she was behind it to go touch it yeah, no, and the deer just kicked its back legs and kicked her right in the fucking head oh fuck yeah, yep holy moly yeah is she all right? No, no, she's an idiot now really no, she's fine oh yeah, thank god, because what a story would that be to explain to the social services. Yeah. The sea officer. It was a deer.
Speaker 1:It was a deer that did it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's why she's all touched in the head now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she got touched by a deer.
Speaker 1:My brother found a baby deer in our woods when he was younger and he pet it, Fucked it.
Speaker 2:And that's why I don't have a problem with it yeah, and he broke it down.
Speaker 1:For me he's like the dude. So if they're both.
Speaker 2:If so, they're both juvenile, if you're yeah, he was under 18 so he could have sex with a young deer. Yeah, dude, you don't mind that, but once an adult yeah has sex with a young animal it's the same if we're treating rules apply if we're treating them humanely we're not molesting them.
Speaker 1:Precisely Okay, but he found a baby deer and he pet it. Yeah, no, this is hand. Yeah. And, uh, the deer it he imprinted on the deer cause it was a lost baby deer.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, did you? They have to kill the deer, it just followed him around. Yeah. Yeah, that animal control came by and they fucking had to murder it because they're like oh, did you touch his deer? Yes, sir, oh fuck.
Speaker 1:Come here, come here, hold its neck while.
Speaker 2:I snap it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, shoot it in the face of this old bone saw yeah. So Jesus Christ? So horse horses, hyenas, giraffes, deer, hippos all on the table. If you can do that the better hey. God bless you. All right, yeah, good for you.
Speaker 2:That's very libertarian of you, Dan.
Speaker 1:Well, I consider myself a progressive person. There are people too. But don't have sex with underage animals. Don't do it. I mean, that's just it's wrong it is so wrong, it ain't right, it ain't right, yeah, did you see rfk?
Speaker 2:he uh, rfk jr he had sex with an animal no, he uh hand feeds these crows yeah he like trained these crows to come hang out with him when he's on his balcony crows are smart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is cool. They he's on his balcony. Crows are smart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just cool.
Speaker 1:They've identified him as a kind caring person who will serve the nation well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, the crows have chosen RFK. It's just funny that we have these two old guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then he's just like doing 30 pull-ups.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the crows aren't choosing. He looks great he's ripped. Yeah, the crows aren't choosing. He looks great he's ripped.
Speaker 2:And also the crows aren't choosing joe biden, they'll eat him, it's unfortunately, it's his voice who rfk yeah totally it's like you can't be president with that voice I think he could he won't be, but he could yeah, no, he won't be, but he could yeah, um, damn that sucks.
Speaker 1:He'd be great, but it could be like that 11, 22, 63 thing where, like he comes back after saving jfk and america's like way shittier it's true so who knows what'll?
Speaker 2:happen. What about killing babies? How do you feel about? Okay, like going back in time I like the jump going back in time and killing baby hitler. Not that you'll change history and change time, but could you kill? This is actually really funny. This was a video I saw, so I can't give credit to who made it, because I don't remember what nick alexander the the time machine.
Speaker 2:So this is amazing, yeah, funny concept. He's like hey, we made a time machine, yeah, I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna kill hitler yeah, so he's like you can do it.
Speaker 2:You think you do he's like I could do it, yeah, you sure, like a baby, like a newborn baby, you could do it. He's like yeah, I think I could do it totally. So he travels back time and he comes back and he's all fucked up from just killing a baby and he's like I did it, I killed the hitlers, I killed the baby hitler, yeah. And the other person looks at him and goes you killed the baby. Who's hitler, you know?
Speaker 1:because yeah, you know yeah hitler never existed so, oh no, this is a different one oh yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:So he kills him yeah he's like oh my god, you killed a baby yeah his name was hitler. Like who's hitler, you know? Yeah, that's a good, that's pretty good yeah, so yeah, but would you be able to kill a baby knowing that it was going to grow up and be Hitler? Yeah. Yeah, you know why? Because you're not a punk bitch.
Speaker 1:What am I going to say publicly?
Speaker 2:No, I couldn't do it. He was just goo, goo and gone you know it would be tough. Yeah, it's a baby, even if it's Hitler.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it would be very tough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'd have to really, but you'd have to really know it'd be tough to kill any baby. Yeah, any baby, even if it's hitler. Yeah, it's gonna be hard, but that's like the one. I think that's the one baby in history where he was a cute baby allowed to kill. I've never seen pictures. I'm sure it was ugly yeah all babies were ugly back in the 20s, little goblins teens. I guess he was born in like that no, he was born in the aughts oh, was he in the 1800s okay yeah, because he was in well, he used to celebrate his birthday, right 420 that's right, I used to in college, yeah
Speaker 4:all the time. Well, hey, this is a great day, man. Nothing bad can happen on this day yeah, no, I.
Speaker 2:I think that's the only baby in history that we're all allowed to kill. Uh, you got hitler. Yeah, uh, probably bin laden. Uh, yeah, bin laden, he's on there yeah uh, besides terrorists of the current time, stalin he helped us in World War II. Yeah, I mean they won. Let's be honest, the Russians won World War II.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to say they won they won the European campaign. They threw way more. They put more effort into it. Yeah. For a longer amount of time. They lost a lot of lives. Yeah, they threw more bodies into the main camp, a lot more bodies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they threw more bodies into the meeting, a lot more bodies. Yeah, have you seen Like?
Speaker 1:a generation of men was wiped out from Russia.
Speaker 2:There's a movie about Stalingrad. Such a good movie it has Behind enemy lines.
Speaker 1:It's close to it, saving Private Ryan. No, no, no, a thin red line.
Speaker 2:You're really close Enemy, really close Enemy at the Gates Enemy at the Gates.
Speaker 1:Ed Harris, ed Harris, I haven't seen him.
Speaker 2:They're all German and American. Yeah. Excuse me, german and Russian with all British and American accents Makes no sense.
Speaker 1:Doesn't need to.
Speaker 2:It's Hollywood no they were like fuck it, we don't care. Ed Harris is like he played a German fucking.
Speaker 1:He looks German.
Speaker 2:But he didn't even try with the accent.
Speaker 1:You know who was the best.
Speaker 2:He's like I'm going to talk like Ed Harris.
Speaker 1:It's like a weird thing, the best Nazi Easy the best Nazi.
Speaker 2:It's close. I'm going to give the best Nazi award to Ray Fiennes. Okay.
Speaker 1:Most people would say the Nazi from the third Indiana Jones.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting, I thought most people would say um nazi from the third indiana, jones. Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1:I thought you were gonna go with. Uh, inglorious bastards papers.
Speaker 2:Remember that guy, yeah, who he kills at the end they the gun of the tank yeah, I thought he was I was like that guy's a crazy nazi oh, I thought you were gonna say the guy from inglorious bastards which one they were the main, the main bad guy oh, the one.
Speaker 1:Who would they do the shootout in the?
Speaker 2:yeah, the very beginning of the movie, where oh yeah, Christopher. Christoph Watts. Yeah, christoph. Waltz. Yeah, but I would give it to yeah, refines, okay. Refines from Schindler's list.
Speaker 1:I got to watch that. I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker 2:You haven't seen Schindler's List.
Speaker 1:No, I've heard about it.
Speaker 2:Best movie I've ever seen. Really yeah, best movie made ever.
Speaker 1:That and the Forrest Gump.
Speaker 2:I would say twice as good, really, yeah. Not enjoyable to watch. You can't turn away and it's done so perfectly. Huh, it's a perfect movie, it's the number one. To me, it's the number one movie you've ever made. Really, yeah, huh, that's number one. Number two is probably Godfather 2. Okay, or Saving Private Ryan. Okay. Yeah, Saving Private Ryan number two.
Speaker 1:I watched that with my wife when she was pregnant. She's like I've never seen this.
Speaker 2:Saving Private Ryan.
Speaker 1:I was like let's watch it. Yeah, I filmed her seeing the reaction scene.
Speaker 2:she was horrified. Yeah, I saw that in the movie theater alone when I was 17 god damn yeah, I went and saw it at a matinee and I didn't I knew about it but I didn't know yeah, and I heard that, like world war ii vets were like walking out of the room because they couldn't handle it, handle it yeah and I just remember watching it just being are there ever war movies you watch where you go?
Speaker 1:oh no, I'm like I can't like. It becomes too visceral to.
Speaker 2:Uh, I'd have to ask janet, I think the only generation kill on hbo, I think is the only one that's like really close and authentic it hits home yeah, it hits home you told me to watch that yeah that, and then a documentary called restrepo restrepo yeah, um, kyle, younger, is uh. He was a uh a beat writer for um the rolling stones and he went to afghanistan and embedded himself with a uh a unit there.
Speaker 1:Oh, and then just kind of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, interesting. No, I'm mixing both of them. Generation Kill was that Kyle Junger did a book called War. It was based off of Restrepo.
Speaker 1:Sebastian Junger.
Speaker 2:Sebastian Junger. Yes, so Sebastian Junger did Restrepo in Afghanistan. Yeah. Generation Kill was the Rolling Stones reporter that did Generation Kill in Iraq.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Both excellent movies.
Speaker 1:All right, I have to check those out. Very good, it's hard to watch things like that with the baby around and my wife.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can watch Restrepo.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can watch them around. Yeah, it's not graphic.
Speaker 1:Everybody says you can watch whatever you want around a baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they don't like they don't know anything, but I'm like I don't. Yeah, they don't even understand the dimensions of it. It's just this like flat thing.
Speaker 1:They're just yeah, the lights. But I mean, do they get questioned?
Speaker 2:you know? Hey, baby, do you know what that was? Yeah no, you don't. Oh, no answer.
Speaker 1:So they must not know what it means the only reason I think you're willing to put up with baby, because they're literally just toothless people shitting themselves all day.
Speaker 2:And adorable.
Speaker 1:Is because they're adorable.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's the only reason. Yeah. And because you love them and the amount of potential that they could have to shape the world.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine being like a Neanderthal, you know, with a baby and the baby's crying in the cave at night crying in the cave at night. Yeah, with the, you know, yeah, and the hairy caveman woman's, just you know like trying to get it well, no, just like trying to keep the baby quiet so the wolves won't hear you fucking saber-toothed tiger. Yeah, shut the fuck up yeah, like I can't imagine what that would have been like it's just like oh fuck yeah oh fuck, no, it would have been tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah. If you had a crying baby. I mean, it's interesting how babies haven't evolved, because there's a lot of evolution at play with a baby, like how babies know to. You know, they can instinctually hold their you know, hold their breath underwater and stuff like that yeah.
Speaker 4:They get used to it.
Speaker 2:You put your hand on the bottom of their foot and they'll grasp it like a monkey. It's awesome yeah.
Speaker 1:But how they haven't evolved out of crying, because crying, yeah, would have given your position away to all sorts of scary critters.
Speaker 2:I remember in a psychology class and I don't remember the reason why, if you take an infant and you put the infant on a table and that table has a ledge but you have a trick mirror that makes it look like the ledge is continuing, the baby will stop at that ledge.
Speaker 1:Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because their eyes aren't tricked like an adult's eyes, I believe is the reason why they don't do it. Huh, and they know that that mirror is a two-dimensional object.
Speaker 1:Why did I fall down the stairs? I?
Speaker 2:don't know, yeah it's crazy yeah, why'd you shit yourself? But you can do that fucking sorcery yeah, it makes no sense.
Speaker 1:No, it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:No I listened. I hate to talk on our podcast, about another podcast, but I have been listening to brogan a little bit lately and he did have sebastian younger on there. Such a great episode yeah talking about the afterlife. You know he had an aneurysm and really yeah, he almost died yeah, aneurysms are generally pretty fatal yeah, and he was so coherent because you go from coherent to dead yeah and you're while your, your blood is filling up.
Speaker 2:He had one in his stomach, so he lost four pints of blood inside his own body oh, geez, and how old is he?
Speaker 1:uh, he's 56 58, that scares the super shape.
Speaker 2:He's a great shape of his life.
Speaker 2:Uh, that's probably what saved him but what was interesting was when he when he said you know, he's a, he claims to be, um, not agnostic, but he doesn't believe. No, he doesn't believe because he says he doesn't have a reason to, which is another point. It's an interesting take on it. But he came close to death and he was in the hospital and he's like I'm not ready to fucking die, like what's going on. I can't believe this. And they couldn't do that because his blood pressure was so low. If they even gave him like aspirin, they would have just died, so he would have just coded. So, uh, he was coherent during a lot of what they were doing. Finally, he goes under. He's dying, he's flatlined, he's in the corner of the room. He sees everyone working on him. He sees the doctors literally looking at each other going. What else can we do? Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, in the corner of the room there is a hole, a black hole that's sucking a lot of the like you said, like dust particles and dirt, into it. And then his father, his dead father, is above the bed and says it's okay, son, you can come home now. And he's like no, fuck you dad. Yeah, he's like, what are you fucking talking about? He still didn't conceive that today was the day I'm going to die, yeah. So he said no, you know, I'm not going to die. He comes out of it. They say it's a miracle that he lived, and he's still not really a believer. He said don't get me wrong. There's one side of science that says that this is proof that there is an afterlife. There's something more. And the other people say well, it's this dump of a certain chemical in your brain. Dmt serotonin. Yeah, dmt serotonin.
Speaker 2:And you're having these long-term memories. But he goes bullshit. He said because throughout time, throughout history and through different civilizations and cultures it's when you die there's always been like three or four symbols of what people see and that's it. He's like I didn't have a dream of a giant cheese sandwich yeah like a random dream, like what dmt maybe would do to me or you know, doing something like that, but it's always someone telling you to come over or not to. There's always either a light or darkness yeah you know.
Speaker 2:Not only that, but let's say it is because of whatever. Why? Why is your body breaking down like that, giving you these long-term memories right before death? Why is it doing that? There has to be a reason. It's not just like oh well, that's just what happens. That's not a really good explanation.
Speaker 1:No, I think it's. I think the reason is life, the whole reason is living. Yeah. I mean, you know, the hard part about life is finding reasons to enjoy it and to keep on living and to want to continue to live it yeah and there's important things like your parents and and all sorts of family, friends, happy memories, things that had an impact, that, like we talked about last time, that you leave an impact on this world yeah as good as you can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's that's what that all of that is, because the whole reason, the whole way you're doing that, is through your brain and the chemicals that are going on you do something bad, it feels bad.
Speaker 2:When you do something good, it feels good why is your brain dumping this long-term memory station on? You don't need it, no more. Do you think that's why it's doing it? Just to release it and you're just kind of what?
Speaker 1:why does it need to hold on to it? It's like, oh, is this the time where we just don't, might be the time, yeah, time to dump yeah, I don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2:And then they didn't bring up this point. I kind of came to this conclusion myself and I thought it was interesting about, let's say, somehow we did find out that there was a god. Science says oh my god, we proved it. God is real yeah we wouldn't survive. As a human race, we're almost designed not to know, because if we knew, who would want to live? If we knew, yeah, there's a fucking heaven, there's a God, there's all this cool shit, yeah, ba ba, ba, ba, ba ba ba the whole world would be like.
Speaker 1:You're talking like a suicide bomber right now.
Speaker 2:No, but it's fascinating.
Speaker 1:It's the same thing.
Speaker 2:And it's the same way if it was the other way around, if they were able to say God is not real yeah, way around if god, if. If they were able to say god is not real, yeah, here's a hundred percent proof.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everyone believed it. I tried to do a bit about this once how I didn't want a religious airline pilot and I referenced the movie flight, because the guy's co-pilot yeah is this christian guy? And while the plane's going down, all he's doing is screaming oh lord, oh lord yes and the only person who's doing something is the atheist coke sniffing alcoholic pilot yeah he's like I gotta fucking land. This bird like this is fucking crazy I got shit to do, he's hammered. He's like I gotta fucking, I got I gotta keep drinking.
Speaker 2:I remember your.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember this joke I got shit I need to do like I got. Uh, you know I can't fucking. You know, die now. The other guy's kind of almost giving himself away. He's like there is a plan and this guy's like no, I got shit to figure out on this planet. I've fucked my life up and I'm hung over as shit right now and.
Speaker 1:I could use a drink and I'm not dying right now. I get your point. I think the thing that religion is, it's like who. I forget who said it's opiate for the masses. Maybe it was nietzsche one of those guys yeah, um, it is a path. It because you just want to feel good, it's the old, it's not the ultimate security, but it is security to just be like sure everything was going to be okay. Yeah, my grandmother should say that everything's going to be okay. Yeah, everything's going to work out. Everything was going to be okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my grandmother just said everything's going to be okay, yeah, everything's going to work out, everything's going to be okay, and it is or it isn't, no matter what, though that's. The ultimate thing is that you, when you die, you stop caring, it doesn't matter anymore we don't know, know that. I like to think so. The way I view that is when you die, you shit your pants.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, and it's over, and you don't care.
Speaker 1:When you shit your pants, when you're alive, what happens?
Speaker 2:You're embarrassed, you're terrified. This is awful.
Speaker 1:How am I going to get out of this? I've got to clean this mess up. When you die, you shit your pants and then you stay there until somebody moves in your shitty pants.
Speaker 2:You just you know that that was the only thing, and now I'm gonna get what. How far are we in right now?
Speaker 1:I don't know, but we could probably end this no, no, I got something.
Speaker 2:No, no, keep going so when my sister died yeah, my sister killed herself the one who got kicked by the deer no, no, no okay no, you thought you're like well, that's the ride, that's why. No, jesus dan, you horrible man. Sorry, no, I'm kidding, uh, it was kind of funny, thank you, uh. No, when she killed herself, the my only way I got over it was I knew she was no longer in pain. Yeah, and I was like okay yeah like that's it.
Speaker 2:She's not, she's not in pain anymore. You know, and I saw this picture of this woman, there's a painting someone did of this woman in this white gown and she's walking on water and there's like lightning in the the foreground yeah you know and that's, and put me at peace, because I was like, oh, she's no longer in pain yeah there's no longer any. She doesn't have any of that anymore.
Speaker 2:Good for her there's immense suffering on this planet yeah, but the problem with that, though, like I still don't get it. I don't get suicide, I don't. I'm very afraid of death. Yeah, because there is a chance that there's nothing. Yeah, yeah, um, and if that's the case, I was eight years old, freaking out, not being able to sleep, crying. Yeah, about death.
Speaker 2:About death, about the absence of anything and the fact that everyone I knew would die one day, and, yeah, my unborn children. At eight years old, I was thinking that my unborn children are going to die one day. Yeah. And I still don't. I have a problem with it, like why would you end? The only thing you have, the only thing you have? Yeah why would you end what doesn't even compute to me? And I guess I'm the normal human dna?
Speaker 1:probably why you haven't done it that exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean you're in, you're right. I mean, at the end of the day, my dna is just normal yeah because I'm like an ant that's just gonna go do what it's supposed to do yeah versus this other ant. That's like I don't want to fucking do this you're my norm mcdonald bit.
Speaker 1:Sure, it's like you know, when somebody kills himself, everybody goes. I can't. I can't understand why they would do it. I have no idea why they, why they would do it. He goes, you don't what. Do you live in a fucking cotton candy house, you know? You haven't heard about this thing called life. Yeah, it only disappoints and it ends in a catastrophe yeah, I.
Speaker 2:I think my biggest one with her was kids. She had kids.
Speaker 1:She had two daughters that she left behind I talked about this with my brother because I've suffered depression and stuff you know, with the, the pills, the powders and booze, you know there's some dark corners, sure, consciousness. My brother's uh, he'd struggle, he's. He at one point struggled depression and I talked to him. I was like you ever think about uh killing yourself?
Speaker 1:so oh yeah, and I was like. I was like well, how did you, you know, deal with that? How did you work through that? He goes well, it's gonna happen anyway. So it seems like I might as well just see what happens, because something good could happen, yeah good for him and I thought that was a very realistic way to think about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna give this a try because I think sometimes people go look at they give you their reasons for living, sure, but I feel like that's such a it's like it's gonna happen. Just hold on a little bit longer, let's see what happens. You know it's a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Speaker 2:You know life's temporary but it's amazing that the human condition keeps you in check. So we're not all. If we all really understood that we only have a finite time on this planet, yeah, no one would be working in the bank. No, no one would be digging ditches digging ditches somehow, our or our gross view of mortality yeah keeps us all going oh, for sure keeps us all alive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're skewed isn't that that's.
Speaker 2:It's like we're the most intelligent things on this planet. Yeah. But man, that primate we can't get rid of.
Speaker 1:No, I mean, I saw when my daughter was being born. I was like, oh, we're animals.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're just animals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're just animals who are aware of how we're animals, but we haven't. We're not able to prove one why we're here. Yeah. Or necessarily how we came to be. Yeah, and then also why we know what we know about ourselves. Like, how is consciousness? I think that's like the one thing that, like philosophers never tackle, the one question, it's the simplest question, which is why are we here? Yeah, they're not, they're not that's why.
Speaker 2:Well, that's like quantum physics yeah so that's what they were talking about on that podcast was quantum physics and religion are very similar yeah um, like you, can almost not have quantum physics without some type of faith well, science needs faith.
Speaker 1:Because we all believe in the big bang. They're like just believe in this one miracle the big bang happened and then everything now, sure, I mean it's the same.
Speaker 2:It's like some of it blows me away, like just recently. Just a little snapple fact for you, um, as far as the observable universe that we've seen, if you were to put the known universe in a, um, like if you were to make it the size of earth's oceans okay, okay, yeah we have seen humans, we've seen taking a one. Uh, excuse me, a half a liter cup yeah in the ocean yeah taking it, filling it up and looking in it and going, no, we're the only ones out here.
Speaker 1:It's pretty empty yeah no fish in here, no sharks in this cup well, do you ever wonder that we've known each other in another life, in a different form? Yeah, place sure and we're just two idiots doing the same thing on planet butt fuck, just yeah, just talking, yeah, I mean not only I mean mathematically.
Speaker 2:It's impossible that it's not happening do you believe in the soul? Yes, but I'm almost starting to believe in a collective soul.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like the Bill Hicks thing. We all believe we're all experiencing the same consciousness, subjectively.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we've all gone through it. Yeah, subjectively, we've all gone Because of our experiences, and what raises us and our surroundings are some of those little DNA traits that we all have. Yeah, changes our paths.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But we're all the same consciousness.
Speaker 1:You ever seen the DW Griffith film the soul of a nation? No it's about the cake.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know. Yeah, I'm fully aware.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, different soul back then.
Speaker 2:Different soul back then. But no, I do feel that you know, there's a lot of teachings and like even buddhism, that the whole god is, even in judaism. God is everywhere.
Speaker 2:There's a song my daughter sings god is everywhere god is one, yeah, and then you know they say where's god to the little kids and they go in the tree and then they sing in the tree god is everywhere, god is good, god is one and I, in some ways, I believe that I do. I believe that we don't have right now we're this is a quote from I hate to do it from the podcast, but right now we're dogs looking at a tv screen, not understanding how that projection is on the tv, how it works, anything. We just see that screen. I'm like that as a human. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:We have no fathom of what quantum, a lot of the quantum fixes are micro. Uh, what is that called? Um, you know, like microorganisms. We're still trying to learn about that. So, learning about the brain, learning about life at the beginning of life, death, we're, so we don't know much. We don't know much. So what we do know, the things that we've patched together through time, has become religion, because people do. We do want to know where we came from. You know, we're very life and death. We want to know what?
Speaker 2:what's out there?
Speaker 1:it's interesting because we still don't agree on everything. That's the and I think, in order for us to. We, that's the, and I think in order for us to we don't agree in science now. No, In order for us to come together as a species, we got to almost come together, like to understand everything. We got to come together as a collective and say it's okay to have sex with some animals.
Speaker 2:You know where you can have sex with animals.
Speaker 1:Tennessee and Washington State.
Speaker 2:That should be their new. Come to Tennessee Travel yeah, Fuck animals. Come to Tennessee where you can fuck animals Real pittance. And they have like real sexy horses in the commercial or a hot lion. No, no, no. I was saying I don't even remember what I was asking.
Speaker 1:Was he just meerkat and warthog at gay sex?
Speaker 2:I was asking Damn it, you threw me off. Sorry, no, it's alright, bring it back to comedy.
Speaker 1:No, I was wrong, that was a good callback. It was good to have some depth there. I like those.
Speaker 2:I was going to talk about the farm that you and I have.
Speaker 1:Oh, secondhand farms. Yeah, secondhand farms, secondhand farms.
Speaker 2:No, not secondhand dude.
Speaker 1:Secondhand farms, yeah. Do you have breast milk.
Speaker 2:We have a great use for it. We need it here. Second chance farms you can help the world one pint at a time. That's right, kids. I'm talking about human breast ice cream.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, chocolate chip chesty chocolate chip chesty chocolate chip, yum yum um big boobs butter scotch, scotch con big butter, pecan, butter, pecan Is that a flavor.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I don't know either. Uh nothing goes with titty chesty cookie dough.
Speaker 1:No, that doesn't work. No, you said that. Yeah, um bosom blueberry tits and just ice cream tits, and just ice cream, tits and ice cream.
Speaker 2:That's my favorite flavor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like tits and ice cream.
Speaker 2:Yeah, come to Second Chance Farms when you can get a bite of human breast milk.
Speaker 1:Are your breasts engorged and do you want to make a little extra cash?
Speaker 2:Come talk to Dan and Josh $79.99 a pint.
Speaker 4:Second Chance Farms.
Speaker 2:I think $80 is good for a pint. Bring your big old tits over here and let me milk them yeah, we're gonna have pictures of real hot chicks on there, oh yeah, but it's really not from them, oh no the old switcheroo yeah, I think 80 bucks 80 bucks is fair, I'd buy it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whenever I uh drink katie's breast milk, my allergies have gotten better. Better get a baby dick now.
Speaker 2:We should end it here Trade off. This is good, this was good.
Speaker 1:This was good.
Speaker 2:This was good. How long was this? Like three and a half hours.
Speaker 1:Hour and two minutes. Jesus Christ, I know I'm so sorry, out there audience no it's good, was it good, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Animal sex and divinity anything you got going on you know, wit's end come here. You should check it out.
Speaker 1:I think I'm playing the right one, if not. Godspeed God bless, thank you.
